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BREAKING REPORT: All horse-based videogames tied to Scientology photo

GREEN GABLES: FoxToid has just uncovered what may be the biggest religion-based videogame scandal since the 1991 release of Wisdom Tree Inc. title Bible Adventures.

Early this morning, authorities launched a synchronized surprise raid on industry-leading videogame developers and publishers like Atari, Ubeesoft, D4, Buthesduh, THque, and BeastiSoft, among others, in attempts to uncover evidence of their involvement in what is being called Equestrian Science  Alliance. 

According to authorities, these videogame makers have banded together with the Church of Scientology to incorporate brain washing devices into all of their horse-based videogames. Horsezzz, Let's Ride Me, and Boobie Horse Adventures are listed among the almost 90 titles that contain subliminal messages of alien worship and animal love.

FoxToid attempted to reach the Ring horse for comment, but he declined, opting to place his right eye really close to the camera lens instead. 

UPDATE: A new report tells us that some of the print/magazine world may also been linked to the ESA, though no confirmations have surfaced yet. DeAgostini publication I Love Horses uses a promotional song that is sure to contain subliminal messages that control the listener's brain.








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Dale North is Destructoid's Editor-In-Chief, a founding editor, and specialist in Japanese gaming. An accomplished musician, Dale was reporting from Japan during the earthquakes of 2011. Luckily, he got the fuck out alive and is home in America now with his wife and beloved corgi, Einstein. Dale is also a co-founder of Destructoid's sister anime site Japanator. Likes Corgis, Sega Saturn, PSP, iPhone, Photographic tools. Meet the rest of the team



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26 comments | showing # 1 to 26
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Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:14
Aaron Mxy Yost
I KNEW IT!!!
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:18
MaxVest
Is that song available as a ringtone?
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:21
king3vbo
They want us to treat animals with care and love? THOSE BASTARDS
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:23
MrSadistic
Game of the fucking year in my book.
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:23
Topher Cantler
Surely you would never spy Geraldo Beedog using horses to lure people into freaky religious cults. Geraldo Beedog uses horses only for riding into town in order to catch train robbers, as beedog sheriffs often do.
tkyy's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:24
tkyy
Did Tom Cruise adopted one of those as his 35233th child?
Surf314's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:24
Surf314
What about Harry Potter raping horses on stage, does that have to do with Scientology too?
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:24
Justice
My little pony... this whole time! B*stards!

Another picture of the horses from the XENU HORSELUV game has been recovered and seems to add more light to this situation:



It's true, it's all trueeeee!
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:26
tazarthayoot
OMG SNUFFLES WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU!?
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:40
Cowzilla3
I use to play my little pony all the tim...i mean i use to fight and shoot things. Screw ponies and scientology.
Velt's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:41
Velt
they use the little ponys to have sex!!!
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:42
Brian Szabelski
OMG NO WAI :O
brosef's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:42
brosef
Goddammit I love this site...
Red TheHaze Veron's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:47
Red TheHaze Veron
Alam mong mahal na mahal kita, Dale North.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:58
Maurice Tan
At least horses don't remind me of all the illegal mexican scum that is defiling America.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:58
mix
Boobie Horse Adventures sounds awesome to me, pre-ordering that today!
13thDragon's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:34
13thDragon
I agree, Boobie Horse Adventures does sound jawesome.
Ogu's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:39
Ogu
Justice's horses are huggung.
Chocobo Knight's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:48
Chocobo Knight
If Tom Cruise is endorsing this, it must be GREAT!!
TehBoognish's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:57
TehBoognish
TEST-A-PHYIED! I just got this game from Bust-Buy and the free can of gold paint and plastic baggie they were giving away with it was a great idea. I have never played a morefungame .n;BIK12 ';KM&ikl:"KBJ XJ<ASc
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 15:13
Bob Muir
I knew it! Conspiracy!
Miyuutsuu's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 17:04
Miyuutsuu
I wonder if Barbaro was snuffed out because he was about to snitch out on this conspiracy. The whole 'broken leg' incident might have been an inside job warning, to not say a damn word. Or use that peanut butter trick.

The world may never know...
NegFactor's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 18:27
NegFactor
But you missed one important fact. Bible Adventures was also linked to scientology years before! TAKE THAT, CHRISTIANITY! ONE MORE BABY MOSES IN THE RIVER FOR THE TEAM!
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 23:54
Eschatos
Scientologist furries?
PetiePal's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2008 09:39
PetiePal
Dude Hairy Potter's Equis is coming out for the Wii!
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2008 11:28
HarassmentPanda
I love horses might be the best song ever!
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