Only FoxToid brings you the answer to the age-old question Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS: According to authorities, the elusive red-trenchcoated world traveler was picked up last night for prostitution in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. The former ACME agent, being well versed in geography, knew that Amsterdam's red light district was the best place for her to make some much needed money.
She told police that endless world travel caught up with her pocketbook, and she took to working the streets to make ends meet. She is now being held in a Dutch jail, where jailmates Rockapella frequently break out in song.
In an undercover operation, Sandiego was caught servicing Double Dare game show host Marc Summers. Among the evidence, police found that Sandiego billed Summers for a service called "the physical challenge." Summers refused to comment.
A police spokesperson said, "Now we know why everyone was looking for her. Apparently she's top notch!"
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11:01 AM on 03.31.2015