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BREAKING: Carmen Sandiego found, arrested for prostitution photo
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Only FoxToid brings you the answer to the age-old question Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS: According to authorities, the elusive red-trenchcoated world traveler was picked up last night for prostitution in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. The former ACME agent, being well versed in geography, knew that Amsterdam's red light district was the best place for her to make some much needed money.

She told police that endless world travel caught up with her pocketbook, and she took to working the streets to make ends meet. She is now being held in a Dutch jail, where jailmates Rockapella frequently break out in song.

In an undercover operation, Sandiego was caught servicing Double Dare game show host Marc Summers. Among the evidence, police found that Sandiego billed Summers for a service called "the physical challenge." Summers refused to comment.

A police spokesperson said, "Now we know why everyone was looking for her. Apparently she's top notch!" 


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47 comments | showing # 1 to 47

BigPopaGamer's Avatar
BigPopaGamer at 04/01/2008 12:33
I don't see the problem here. The woman is doing what she has to to make some money. Don't go jumping on her case just because she likes to suck on things or ride people like a drunk cowboy on a free beer friday night at the local honky-tonk.
niakori's Avatar
niakori at 04/01/2008 12:34
Top notch? She's not even good enough to stand in the window.
Topher Cantler's Avatar
Topher Cantler at 04/01/2008 12:35
Surely you would never spy Geraldo Beedog finding Carmen Sandiego. Geraldo Beedog understands the importance of Carmen Sandiego remaining elusive, so as to perpetuate the fantasies of Reverend Anthony.
pendelton21's Avatar
pendelton21 at 04/01/2008 12:36
Thank God. I'm more excited that they caught those rapscallions Rockapella, though. How dare they bring music with no instrumentation to the masses!
LilJimmyNordin's Avatar
LilJimmyNordin at 04/01/2008 12:36
I hope the children of those poor grandparents burn in hell
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 04/01/2008 12:37
Rev must be heartbroken

...because as her accomplice, he’s going to jail too!
Neonie's Avatar
Neonie at 04/01/2008 12:38
Well.....hmmmm......
Aerox's Avatar
Aerox at 04/01/2008 12:38
More evidence of the disgusting moral decline of our world. Big surprise that a country known for it's liberal drug policies and secular education system lures vulnerable young American women to lives of depravity and sin.
Robert's Avatar
Robert at 04/01/2008 12:38
She take debit?
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 04/01/2008 12:38
Top notch indeed!
Chocobo Knight's Avatar
Chocobo Knight at 04/01/2008 12:39
Do you have to pay extra for Rockpella?
Cowzilla3's Avatar
Cowzilla3 at 04/01/2008 12:40
It's just sad that someone who was once such a glorious educator of children is now a disgusting hooker. This is what's wrong with the world. All our teachers are godless heathens.
Surf314's Avatar
Surf314 at 04/01/2008 12:42
Hey that's my wife!
MrSadistic's Avatar
MrSadistic at 04/01/2008 12:42
I knew that whore I slept with looked familiar.

FYI, Carmen LOVES the Dirty Sanchez.
Horatio Caine's Avatar
Horatio Caine at 04/01/2008 12:46
I bet you that her V.I.L.E. cronies are guilty of other crimes. RoboCrook & the Baron need to go Guantanamo.
MisterMingo's Avatar
MisterMingo at 04/01/2008 12:46


"On your 'Marc'...

Get set...

BLLOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!"
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 04/01/2008 12:51
What the heck? I thought everybody knew, she was an extra in Hostel and some homeless guy was on the news saying how he saw her, paid her for her services and then continued about his business without realising it was her.
juan cholo's Avatar
juan cholo at 04/01/2008 13:02
I gave her 20 bucks in Tijuana for a blowie then she dissapeared. Damn she is quick.
JJ Rage's Avatar
JJ Rage at 04/01/2008 13:02
Carmen Sandiego gave me something very itchy.
Release82's Avatar
Release82 at 04/01/2008 13:05
I for one am great-full that this harlot has been apprehended. For years she has taunted our children every week as she callously steals world monuments and cause general pandemonium across the world.

35 to life seems a proper punishment.
Release82's Avatar
Release82 at 04/01/2008 13:06
RoMeRtHeGaMe's Avatar
RoMeRtHeGaMe at 04/01/2008 13:08
I knew she was leading a double life from the beginning, this story doesn't surprise me one bit....
The Incredible Edible Egg's Avatar
The Incredible Edible Egg at 04/01/2008 13:09
wow miggs, way to get butt-sore over a day of fun. Why don't you spread some hate over at Kotaku or something?
calpis's Avatar
calpis at 04/01/2008 13:12
I saw her show in Bangkok one year when she juggled a baseball, bowling pin, lollipop, and paraplegic without using her hands.
calpis's Avatar
calpis at 04/01/2008 13:18
@miggs: http://www.theonion.com

btw, lighten up.
AgentMOO's Avatar
AgentMOO at 04/01/2008 13:23
That's hot... Er... I mean reprihensible! Shame!
DrkAdonis's Avatar
DrkAdonis at 04/01/2008 13:44
Wow... this is so epic. I can't believe they finally caught her!

Props for the song, man I miss that show....
Jaren Face's Avatar
Jaren Face at 04/01/2008 13:46
Think of the children that grew up with her shenanigans. How do they feel that their beloved World Class Traveling Heroine wants nothing more than to travel into their World Class pants.

...They'd be just as heartbroken as me that they've missed their chance D:
Cheeburga's Avatar
Cheeburga at 04/01/2008 13:50
I came.
kintaeb's Avatar
kintaeb at 04/01/2008 13:59
The Rockapella reference was nice. I, believe it or not, have part of the Carmen Sandiego soundtrack on my iPod, Rockapella keeps me sharp on the Capitals. ;D
ruiner9's Avatar
ruiner9 at 04/01/2008 14:21
Why would anyone get arrested for prostitution in Amsterdam, where it's perfectly legal?
Horatio Caine's Avatar
Horatio Caine at 04/01/2008 14:34
The good people of ACME (maybe a joint operation w/ Interpol, yes the band, & the CIA) must have found her.
NihonTiger90's Avatar
NihonTiger90 at 04/01/2008 14:35
BREAKING NEWS: Foxtoid's Anthony Burch arrested, claims he wants to go to jail. It is unknown if this is related to the arrest of Carmen Sandiego...




















(Yes, yes it is.)
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 04/01/2008 15:39
I always hoped this- er, knew this was the case. Such a pity.
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar
deiga-the-semivaliant at 04/01/2008 16:20
Oh god my childhood fantasies come true.
Fleet3000's Avatar
Fleet3000 at 04/01/2008 17:38
that fucking bitch. i knew she was back in the slums of the red light district. whos gonna show up next, Natasha Fatale from Rocky and Bullwinkle?

SAY IT AIN'T SO!
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 04/01/2008 17:42
Looks like Rev Anthony missed his opportunity. Or did he?
Churchhills Dog's Avatar
Churchhills Dog at 04/01/2008 18:21
Good girl....good family....she's a HOOKA'!
NegFactor's Avatar
NegFactor at 04/01/2008 18:55
Finally, we've got her right where I want her. I mean...JUSTICE IS SEVERED!
Im OK's Avatar
Im OK at 04/01/2008 20:51
"She'll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China."

Indeed.
Eschatos's Avatar
Eschatos at 04/01/2008 23:51
I thought prostitution was legal in Netherlands.
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 04/02/2008 00:04
The last line is win.
fetusmilk's Avatar
fetusmilk at 04/02/2008 01:33
i think theres something going on with her and waldo.
Knives's Avatar
Knives at 04/02/2008 03:48
Why the hell was she all the way over there? TJ is right next to San Diego, dumb bitch.
PetiePal's Avatar
PetiePal at 04/02/2008 09:31
DAMN IT. How did you find her? I thought my basement dungeon bunker was impenetrable! Not Carmen. She's very penetratable.
HarassmentPanda's Avatar
HarassmentPanda at 04/02/2008 11:41
Top notch, eh? I believe it.
The Unforgivable's Avatar
The Unforgivable at 04/02/2008 21:18
Vandersexxx!
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