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There is a story currently popping up all over the Internet (sourcing a non-existent news story, supposedly run by Kansas news station, KCTV) about a Kansas teenager who supposedly strangled his little sister thanks to influences from BioShock. Aside from the fact that it's the most ridiculous story ever conceived, it has been confirmed by our very own Joe Burling (who made a quick and easy call to the KCTV news desk) to be completely false. Already circulating our Webs, the tale is getting somewhat out of hand and really isn't very funny anyway, due to the fact that it's so badly done. “I get really into my games and when Brit’ came over to me to watch TV I forgot I was in a game and accidentally strangled her,” is what fictional Sean Connor is claimed to have told KCTV. Now, I'm all for dark humor, but if you're going to do it, make it good dark humor. This seems like a petty attempt to start an urban legend, but it's just not done well enough at all. Plus it's about a month too late. Should you see any reports about this story online, would you kindly ignore it as it's quite, quite fake. KCTV has no reports of this nature, and directly debunked it for Destructoid. I also have a piece of advice to the "writer" who started this joke: Be funny next time.
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I see what you did there... "Would you kindly..." heh..
OK! Will do.
Sometimes I forget I'm in a game and accidentally jump on turtles, and eat mushrooms and flowers.
I want Jack Thompson to get his hands on this story and try to use it as an argument to ban videogames. How awesome would it be to see his face when he takes it to court only to realize it's fake?
I strangled my little sister over Barbie's Horse Adventures.
What gamer in their right mind would try to start a rumor like this. It is horrible for gaming. I have a feeling a certain Jack Thompson might have been behind this...
I tried to have sex with every demographic of college girl thanks to Leisure Suit Larry magna cum laude. DAMN DEM VIDEOR GAMES!
If this supposed to be a joke... thats not even funny. Its just gonna give the Jack Thompsons of the world more fuel, becuase you know they will quote this as fact
I'm surprised jack thompson hasn't slid his ever so tiny penis into this one. I guess it could be considered a clitorus, it's really hard to tell.
“I get really into my games and when Brit’ came over to me to watch TV I forgot I was in a game and accidentally strangled her,”
what?
you don't even do any stranglin' in that game. he should of said, "so i froze her with winter blast 2 and hit her with my wrench until she shattered, luckily i had my sports boost tonic on, so it was quite easy" or something.
Or how bout i used my inferno plasmid (hairspray and lighter) and lit her hair on fire and when she tried to run to the bathtub to put it out i used my shock plasmid(toaster). come on kid be halfway creative if your gonna make shit up.
This has to be some dumb bastards attempt at humor. It's too stupid to be anything else. Somebody needs to take the toaster plasmid after the originator of this story.
this is almost as dumb as eating burritos without the burrito coverings mmmmmhmmmm
Good to know it's fake. After that guy really cooled his 360 power adapter in a bucket of water, anything "too stupid" feels like it could have happened these days :)
you know its a bad story, when the comments here make for better reading than the original.
Ive almost strangled my sister over Mario Kart
"would you kindly" Nice...
I punched my controller the first time I played Ninja Gaiden Black, but besides from that I'm pretty mellow. I knew this story was a fake, it was way too *out there*.
i've punch my controller and a lot of objects due to cod2 veteran, and then my bastard disk broke, so i never finished it.
How the hell do you accidentally strangle someone? I think this kid would have other problems, if that were the case. I hope it's not true, though. It would be potentially damning.
This sounds almost like an article from The Onion, except more half-assed, poorly written, and unfunny.
When Jack gets a hold of this, he's gonna have the biggest boner alive. Which in his case, is only an inch tall.
Wow what an idiot.
This is just like the time I was playing Cooking Mama and afterwards made some delicious croquettes. Clearly video games must be stopped.
Holy shit Mxyzptlk, they *were* really delicious weren't they? Things are definitely getting out of hand!
After playing Phoenix Wright...I defended an innocent man in court and got him off the hook. I must be stopped!
Even if you are "really into your games," how in the world do you accidentally strangle someone??? Doesn't it take like 2 minutes for a person to suffocate? Even if this were real...accidentally hitting her in the head with a brick or something would be less retarded writing.
Did anyone think that shit was cereal? Maybe if it was a wrench attack, but strangling?
This really did happen! My cousin says he knows a guy who goes to school with Sean Conner. He said that it was all over the KC news but all of a sudden the news stopped talking about it.
carrierj1 = Jack Thompson
I called it.
Response from the author of the blog:
First, thanks for even reading the article. What's worse than negative publicity (Which I have MORE than enough of. Check out my biggest article about Goatse being on the CNN/YouTube debates) is no publicity.
The fact is (heh, "fact") that the article accomplished everything it was meant to accomplish. Though I won't say the article is fake, I will say that anybody who believed the article also recognized how ridiculous it is that nobody held Sean Connor responsible for his own actions, including his mother and Jack Thompson.
I'm a huge gamer and an even huger fan of Bioshock, some of you express a concern that the Jack Thompsons of this world will use this as fodder, but the fact is that this article actually does more to discredit the Jack Thompsons than it does to support them by pointing out how ridiculous their platform is.
And for anybody who wants proof of this, try to find one comment from somebody which argues that this is a good example of the dangers of videogame violence. There isn't one. Instead, all of the dialogue created around the article has been defending videogame violence, and thus supporting videogames.
Like all my articles, it's not the story that is important but the conversations started because of them. And this is no exception.
Thanks for reading!
Sincerely,
Ben Goldman
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