So, you've undoubtely heard this game's name somewhere in the past couple weeks and you've probably noticed its lower than normal-for-next-gen price point at $49.99. That low price point is usually a red flag when speaking about the quality of a game, but, there are always exceptions to the rule. Let me introduce you to one of these exceptions...



My initial draw to this game was the cute characters and that, like the traditional Sonic the Hedgehog, the enemies were actually captured and transformed animals that returned to their natural state upon administering some damage. The cute lil' foxies and bunnies! Awhhhh. Yea. I got suckered in by that. The story is actually pretty neat, however. An evil samurai lord has taken control of castles in this ninja world and is capturing helpless animals to turn them into mindless samurai evildoers, thus offsetting the balance of nature. All the ninjas that have been sent to investigate have vanished, and you are the last ninja left. So, your ninja master sets you out to restore the balance and find out what happened to your ninja compadres.

So, I started playing it expecting a shallow kid's game of just hack'n'slashin away at evil samurais. The beginning tutorial dragged on for a bit longer than I wanted it to, with a bit of some "run up here to talk to this guy," then "go here and find this guy," and then "go back to this dude," but I am glad I champed through it. The game revealed itself to be for a much bigger audience than children.

The action plays just like God of War. What? Did I read that right? Yes, you did. God of War. If you love God of War and need a game to hold you over until the double remastered pack comes out in November, or even waiting for God of War III in March, pick this game up now! The action is just like God of War and the boss fights utilize the same gameplay mechanic, so it is a treat to play, even though the graphics leave a bit to be desired. It looks like a well-made PS2 title and the environments are rather bland - textures are often just two or three different shades of a color.

Mini Ninjas utilizes magic spells - dubbed Kuji Magic in the game - to help you complete various objectives, but mostly just to save the precious forest animals or to take control of them using "Spirit Form." (And yes, Kuji is a real thing - read about it here if you are curious. And yes, I googled it because I was curious!) An old ninja master hid various scrolls that contained more spells throughout the world, so as you play you will run across Kuji Shrines where you can unlock new spells. You are given a "Detect Kuji Shrine" spell to help you locate these and casting this spell will summon three, for a lack of a better description, bird spirits who will fly to the nearest shrine, if there is one. Also, to activate the shrines, you have to donate an Anemone flower which you can always find hidden near the Kuji Shrines.

When you take control of an animal - whether it's a boar, bear, rabbit, fox - your life meter goes to one heart so you can die rather easily. However, as an animal, the enemies will not detect you and you will be able to "sense" collectibles in the surrounding area, which makes it easier to find and 100% the level. Each level tracks how many Kuji Shrines there are, coins, Jizo Statues, caged animals you free, and plants you find, and by becoming an animal, each item in the world will start emitting smoke so you can spot them easily.

You can use the coins you find to buy weapons and recipes from temples that are scattered along your path. Weapons range from smoke bombs to caltrops that stop advancing enemies. The flowers you pick up as you go can be used to make healing potions, Ki potions (Ki is the energy your magic uses), and various other goodies - but you need to unlock the recipes for them before you can use them.

You will find your missing ninja friends on your journey and these ninja followers are usable by you. In essence, it works as if just equipping a different weapon. Only one ninja can be selected at a time (and only Hiro, the main ninja, can use Kuji Magic) and each ninja has a different weapon and a different special attack and it is possible to change out ninjas in the middle of a fight. They share each other's health, however, so if you have Futo selected and you get killed, you will restart the level or from your last checkpoint.

To add more depth to the game, as you go along killing evil samurais, you will gain experience points and eventually level up, adding more health bars, more Ki energy, speed, etc.

There is definitely more to this game than you'd expect looking at the cover - and it will definitely give core gamers such as yourselves an enjoyable run through. I would not mind seeing a Mini Ninjas 2 in the future where they hired actual artists and gave the game a much needed graphical overhaul, but as far as gameplay goes, this game gets everything right.

About 6 or so years ago while playing an incredibly boring game of WarHammer 40k with my brother and his friend, I was told about a game called Day of Defeat. My brother's friend showed us the game - the very first FPS I had seen since I played Doom 2 when I was only 7. I was amazed at how awesome and fun this game appeared to be and I told myself that I must have it. But, I had to get Half-Life first. Day of Defeat was a mod for this real, actual game I learned. So, after politely asking my parental unit for a ride to Babbage's (How I miss this store!), I picked up a copy of Half-Life and promptly said "screw you, download Day of Defeat!" And I did just that.

After the game was installed and I was sitting in my dining room on my laptop and my brother was across the table from me also playing, we decided to hit up a server together and see what fun awaited. Or not.

I kind of had an idea of what to do. There were flags scattered about the map that you had to capture by either running through them or sitting with a teammate like ducks in a pond, waiting a few seconds for the flag to turn your own color. And using weapons? Grenades? Aiming? I was slow to react, had no idea where enemies came from, how to differentiate from teammate and enemy. It was a mess, but I was having fun because this was something completely new to me and I had a buddy to experience this with. Had I been alone in this experience, it may not have turned out as well.

I went to bed, woke up the next day and proceeded to endure a 12-hour long Day of Defeat marathon. I played nonstop - save for eating and peeing - throughout the day, hopping from server to server. Slowly but surely I began to recognize a few maps and such. By the end of the day, at least I looked like I knew what I was doing. Improvement! Alas, the famed kill-death ratio that everyone in multiplayer FPS games brag about was just not happening for me. I was dying way more than I was killing and this would not change for a long time.

As my brother and his friends and I got to playing more and more, we made a clan. We got our very own ghetto-rigged server (thanks to me, of course!) and we started getting buddy-buddy with other clans we'd meet. This was only the beginning. We started to have scrimmages with these other clans. After my first scrimmage I was hooked. I rooted out the competitive community of this game - I don't remember how - but faster than I could blink I was knee deep in this competitive shit and I was sucking hard. Our clan joined a league. Our first match was a complete domination and not on our part. The rival team's leader told us "you guys are clearly not ready for competition."

These words kind of stung - we seemed to fare well playing on our server, kicking ass and taking names no problem. But now, we joined a league, and we didn't even know our ass from our dicks. So, determined, I managed to get my clan to practice and practice. I damn near turned my clan from a group of happy go lucky weekend gamers into hardcore fucktards who would sign on for hours every night just to go over maps, strategies, exercises. It got ridiculous, but, as I learned, in this upper echelon level of play, this is what players did. After a few weeks of this hardcore playing, my entire clan said "fuck this, I just want to have fun!" and quit. It appeared this level of play was not for everyone - there was a clear line between playing and competing and I learned that the hard way - at the expense of real and virtual relationships.

I soldiered on, however, and found my home amongst gamers who were veterans at competing and, due to my addictive nature, spent 8+ hours a night playing Day of Defeat with this team. It was no longer a clan, it was a team. This was a whole new world and boy, did I learn a lot. On the unusual times I would hop on a public server and play with the normal day to day players, it was like stealing candy from a baby. Playing in the competitive environment of these hardcore kids forced you to know so much about the game that you literally could pwn inexperienced players with your eyes closed.

And, it was an awkward feeling that just a year ago, that awful awful player that was just getting WRECKED... well that was me. And I didn't understand why I was getting wrecked back then, and now, I didn't understand why I was able to wreck other players. I didn't feel any different - just felt more comfortable. Playing the game, moving around with WASD, flicking my mouse around - it was like second nature. I moved around the maps like I had millions of times before. I knew all the camping spots, how to bounce grenades perfectly, how to time the other team moving from their spawn at the beginning of a match. It was a piece of cake.

This also happened in college. My roommate and I became fascinated with WarCraft 3. We both picked up the battle chest and played online. We sucked. We played versus each other in hopes to practice, but I always lost and he always won, and there was no progressing playing the same opponent over and over. I didn't have the patience. I played my roomate mostly just for fun, something to do. But he, he was insistent. He wanted to go on Battle.net and wreck faces. He began downloading replays, whipping out a notebook and taking notes. Build orders, etc, was all being written down. How to micromanage. What units were good vs. other units? What to do if your opponent does this. I got lucky - I did none of the legwork. My roomate did that all for me. He even took notes on what I did wrong by watching replays of me getting destroyed. Then we met this other kid, an old school StarCraft player who definitely knew how to micro, but did not know the WarCraft universe at all. We decided to hop on the 3v3 ladder. Within a week, we were top 25. It was an amazing feeling to have accomplished that - after playing the game for 6 months.

But, I had to look at how we got there. We played the game some 6 hours a day. At the cafeteria we talked strategies. We tried strategies out. We regrouped, watched replays, read forum posts on strategies, etc., and we just immersed ourselves in this universe. Nothing else mattered (except school... and getting drunk).

But what of it? I have, since first competing in Day of Defeat, participated in numerous competitive environments for videogames: Day of Defeat, Counter-Strike, Day of Defeat: Source, Counter-Strike: Source, WarCraft 3: TFT, Company of Heroes, and DotA. Each game came with an incredible learning curve to play at the level demanded to actually enjoy competing - but this should not change.

The "Barrier of Difficulty," the almighty learning curve, is definitely justified. The fact that some people will just be plain god-awful at certain types of games is definitely a reasonable fact and a reasonable reason (lol) that these barriers of difficulty should just chill and have a beer. Every game you play will have different levels of opponents, and these opponents will have different reasons and intentions in playing the game.

Steep learning curves all depend on your opponent in the case of multiplayer games. If you suck at playing an FPS in single player mode and you are on the easiest difficulty setting - my best guess is that you suck at the game because you don't play that genre very often and that is the reason you suck hard dick. Playing video games requires trained motor skills along with knowing the game and if you don't exercise those skills, you won't do well. And, sucking at a game will discourage you partaking in that game, which in turn will make you play less of that genre of game.

These "barriers of difficulty" should not be viewed as flaws to a game - but just part of the game. It's like playing soccer - should the fact that you are bad at soccer be a reason for soccer officials to ease up on the rules to make it more accessible? No, people are amazing at soccer because they practice it. They immerse themselves in it. The same goes for video games. The difficulty - especially in multiplayer online games - definitely makes the game superbly interesting. Mostly because watching someone who knows the ins and outs of a certain game play is one of the greatest things ever. It's like watching Tony Hawk in real life pulling off wicked tricks (I know he did the 900 forever ago, but back then that was like holy crap!)

This same goes for videogames - people who are in love with a game so much and chose to immerse themselves in them deserve being as good as they are. Making games accessible so random newbs can still win while playing veterans is just dumb and discourages players from investing time in the game.

My $.02

The announcement of BioShock 2's delay has definitely pissed me off. It was one of the games that I was dying to get my hands on this holiday. After a recent visit to my local GameStop, I saw this preorder list in a big binder. Pictured above, I discreetly took a picture with my super sweet cell phone that has GameStop listing BioShock 2's release date as January 4th, 2010. So, it is missing the holidays by one and a half weeks. Kind of sucks, but, also made me kind of happy.

Happy, that is, if this date is indeed correct. At least it is not too far away from the holiday season. Just thought I'd share my find in case you guys hadn't already seen or heard about it.

However...I decided to put my unique, one of a kind, web research talents to use. Amazon.com, which is selling it for $3 off if you preorder it (apparently), has a published January 31st release date on their website. I took a picture for your pleasure.



I scampered over to Best Buy's website to see what they believed to be this highly anticipated game's release. They were a little behind, however, and still published a November 3rd, 2009 release date. C'mon guys, get with the program LOL M I RITE?? Here's a picture of their fail:



So, what's it going to be? I'd like to go with GameStop's prediction because it's the earliest! I wonder what makes retailers publish whatever the fuck release date they feel like? Is it wishy-washy-ness from the publisher or what?

This is exactly what I hate about the preorder business. All these retailers want to make money now, so they'll throw up release dates for whatever date they want. I mean, God of War III has been preoderable (from GameStop at least) for a long time, and the release date just keeps getting pushed back.

Just also want to make it noted: All pictures were captured today, July 17th, 2009. Seems a little early to be loosing your hair over a game that won't come out in 6 months lol?

Anyway, I am excited to see who wins the battle. Pretty sure Best Buy already lost. Keep the practice, guys!

Okay, well, not really. But, in case you did not know, there is a wonderful lady who has taken it upon herself to write books in the Gears of War universe! I stumbled across the first book (pictured on the left) while I was looking for Discworld novels at Borders that I had not yet read (which is a tough feat... I've read pretty much all of them). Having played Gears of War and Gears of War 2 and loving the crap out of both experiences, I had to buy this book. I finished this book four days later because it was [/i]that[/i] good. It was like my Harry Potter experience all over again. A book that just couldn't be put down! And, it offered a pretty awesome insight to the main characters.

If you like to read or if you like the Gears of War universe, pick this shit up! The best part is... there's a second book coming! From author Karen Traviss, the second book will only retail at $15 according to the press release on the official Gears of War website and will be available on July 28th.

The first book is a prequel to the first game, although the very beginning didn't seem to match up. It must have been a prequel to Gears of War 2 because in the book, Fenix has already been broken out of jail and his association with Hoffman is edgy because of what happened. The second book will pick up where Gears of War 2 left off as Fenix and his buddies escort survivors from Jacinto to a safe haven.

I am anxiously awaiting the announcement of Gears of War 3. It has to be coming!

So, I always hear people bitch about GameStop's stickers on their used games and the shit residue they leave when they unsuccessfully try to peel the buggers off. So, I decided to create a little how-to video to show these kids how to remove these stickers because, to be honest, I am so sick and tired of reading and hearing about how GameStop sucks ass because they put tons of stickers all over their shit. I am mostly sick and tired about the bashing because plenty other retailers do it too.. Play N Trade, for example, uses stickers the size of a pornstar's dick on their games.

So, without further ado, here is the video how-to.



There you have it. Now you know how to remove stickers without using chemicals like Goo Gone and if you are too lazy to do this and still complain, you should be dressed in a cheddar suit and thrown in a pit of rabid rats.

Power in My Hands, part 2 is the continuation of an inFAMOUS fan-fiction short story, viewing an event in Empire city through the eyes of an EMT who viewed himself as morally sound... and still does... for now. Power in My Hands, part I can be viewed here: http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/zgerhard/power-in-my-hands-136161.phtml


In dire circumstances, boys become men. We do things we told ourselves we never would. Then, our dire circumstance arrives and we headstrong individuals stick to our guns. We stick to our guns because the circumstance is not quite dire - only the closest we have come so far. My threshold broke last night.

I dumped the Reaper's body in the river. I had no limitations. Everyone saw. Nobody cared. I just hope I have made a bigger impact to these peoples' lives. This thug won't even be remembered by his own mother.

The AK-47 that Mr. Light Socket gave me hung over my shoulder. I decided it was a necessity to survive and vowed I would not let the power overcome me. The power, the control of whether a person lives or dies was nothing to take lightly. My patients weren't disturbed by the weapon's presence; I still felt uncomfortable wielding it though.

With my feet dangling off the edge of my gas station's roof, I watched all the citizens buzzing about, wandering with no purpose, like college students, except there was no party down the block.

I pulled out my bottle of water. Clean, drinkable water was almost impossible to find now. I stocked up on as much as I could, taking from the river before the people inevitably soiled it. Now I am no better, though, polluting the river with the scrumptious corpse of a thug. In dire circumstances, you become someone you didn't plan to be. I took a big swig of the luke-warm water. It was refreshing nonetheless. I screwed the cap on, but some how managed to catapult it out of my hands to the ground below. Fuck.

I hung from the roof, letting my legs dangle before dropping. I made it a point not to roll, not sure how my new friend AK-47 would feel about that. Instead, I bounced awkwardly forward and slid an uncomfortable bit on my palms.

"Sweet!" I heard a grizzly voice behind me. An old man, a... passerby, for lack of a better word, grabbed my bottle. I got to my feet as fast as I could.

"That's mine," I said as sternly as possible. I was not very intimidating, however, even as I glared coldly into the old man's blue eyes.

"I found it," the old man replied. "There are no rules anymore."

Attired with my AK-47 apparently did not make me an intimidating image either. With one swift upper torso jolt, I swung the rifle from my back into my hands. The man turned and ran as fast as his run-down body would let him. Empire City had gone so far down the shitter, these crazies would put their life on the life for a drink of water. We really were in the animal kingdom now. He could have just asked, I thought. I would've given him a sip. Instead, I raised my rifle and took careful aim as best as I knew how and rested my finger on the trigger.

One heartbeat later, I lowered my vehicle of judgment. What the hell was I doing? I was an EMT. A medic playing doctor. I wanted to help these people. That was my goal and here I am, ready to pull the trigger and plow a common scavenger to death with bullets. He's just trying to get by like everyone else. Fuck.

"You're a fucking pussy," a witness yelled over. "I would've wasted the fucker," he added and laughed. Questionable people walked the streets night and day, and I was not surprised. Most people in this city would not even hesitate before pulling the trigger. Survival of the fittest was the primary law now. Down on the streets was a questionable place to be for a long period of time. Unless, of course, you wanted to mingle with these questionable people. My rooftop clinic was safe - for the most part. Most peoples' bad ideas vaporized when they spotted the sick and wounded patients resting. The Reapers were the only bastards so far heartless enough to attack it. Still, I carried my new found toy just in case circumstances changed. Anything was possible now. For instance, I can lay waste to this prick calling me a pussy. o, now was not a dire circumstance. Now was a time to show my true character. I help those in need. I let my guard down and walked away from the street punk. I watched him walk away from my rooftop. I wonder if he will live to see tomorrow? No one ever knew.

I had scavenged a pad lock and key from a now defunct hardware store. Most people hit the grocery stores first. I used the lock to secure a box - a box I filled with bottles of water for myself and my patients. I had it all rationed out, but this recent theft had me digging in earlier than I wanted. Taking this water felt wrong. It was for my patients primarily. IT was like tapping into your kid's college fund for that much needed vacation. Still, if I didn't make it, none of these poor bastards would either. Tapping into their... our water supply early was a necessary evil. Damn, I feel important.

I crawled on an empty cot and listened to my patients' coughing and labored breathing. In time, they'd make it okay. I knew that for now. I hugged my AK-47 like a teddy bear. You know, just in case.

It took a while to get used to sleeping outside - especially among my own patients. It would be a while more until I got used to sleeping with a tool of destruction. Didn't even know how many bullets I had left. But, if whoever I pointed it at didn't know either, did it really matter?

Barely fallen asleep, I heard a person climbing up on my roof. It had happened before, but in light of recent events, I got a little nervous and clutched my rifle, pretending to be fully asleep. I listened intently to my intruder's movements - breathing quickly and moving just so. The person made his way over to me faster than I anticipated and clutched my shoulder. To my surprise, that's all he clutched and he shook me while urgently whispering "doctor!"

"Yes?" I asked, fully opening my eyes. I recognized him as a previous patient. A scavenger had broken a few of his fingers and knocked him out cold while stealing a loaf of bread from him. I invited him to come see me any time he needed help. Almost regret that invitation now.

"A man, a man needs help!" He raised his volume and pointed with his crooked fingers. "Just two blocks down!"

I shushed him. "There are sick people here."

"Sorry," he urgently whispered. "Please, come!" It wasn't unusual for people ot request my help late at night - but every time I wanted to tell them they got the wrong guy. Kind of hard to fake being one of the only doctor-capable persons in a five block radius. But, after a few moments of being awake and seeing our desperate surroundings, I got a second wind for I remembered why I did what I did.

I rolled out of my cot, awkwardly managing the AK-47 at my side. "Lead the way," I said.

"Name's Simon," he whispered before taking off. I guess I should've remembered, but keeping a distance from my patients was a priority. I had enough to deal with; I didn't need to make friends with dying men.

The streets were just as dead at night as they were during the day. Garbage littered the streets and the citizens of Empire City were littered among it. It was all right, though, because everyone ignored you. It wasn't like before the blast when every homeless person begged you for anything and wouldn't shut up until you gave them something, anything. No one really had anything to give anymore.

I jogged behind Simon, dodging and hurdling small piles of trash. I could hear the wailing of a man in the distance.

As I got closer, I saw the figure, the wounded man. He was lying on his back clutching his abdomen. Many stabbing victims came across my path and all for the same reason: someone wanted something that didn't belong to them and they wanted it real bad. Problems arose when the other party involved refused to give up the object of interested, most commonly food or water. I was almost in such a situation.

I mentally prepared myself as I hurried down the last block. I saw the man grabbing his gut and assumed an abdominal stab wound. Stop the bleeding - I had old t-shirts neatly ripped into squares. Clean, for the most part. Cleaner than anything I could get a hold of now. Back in the day, that was enough - stop the bleeding and let the surgeon at the hospital worry about removing the weapon and closing the reopened wound. But, hospitals didn't exist here anymore. Had to seal the wound as soon as possible and hope for the best. Some made it, some were unlucky - a disruption in the bowls was especially lethal without the proper resources.

I quickly knelt down by the man upon arriving by his side and immediately recognized him. Thief. Without my water bottle - most likely what put him in this situation. Ironic. At least my AK-47 would have been a quick death. If I could aim.

For the first time in my entire career, I did not want to help. I stared at the old man. A broken bottle protruded from his stomach and he was in a puddle of his own blood. He might make it, but my will to interfere in any way had been sucked out of me.

"My bottle of water was stolen twice, wasn't it?" I sternly asked, my consideration for his life thrown out the window. It was a big bottle of water, and there was no way an old man could walk down the street for a long time without anyone attempting to claim it for their own. Unless he hid it, which, by the looks of it, he did not do. His eyes opened wide and his wails for help diminished. He looked terrified for he recognized me and recognized his mistake; to have stolen from the one man who could help you. You watch your neighbor's back and they watch yours. That was a ground rule of society. As soon as you made the decision to only be out for yourself, we became a part of the animal kingdom. But, like before, I again remembered why I did what I did. Someone had to keep the civility.

I reached for my old t-shirt bandages in my messenger bag and my hand bumped into my rifle. I revisited last night. I remembered how shocked I was to suddenly have this power over human life in the palm of my hands. As I pulled the broken bottle out of the man's abdomen and padded his wound, I pondered the choice I had just made.

Control over whether or not someone lives or dies was no longer new to me. Turns out, I've had such power in my hands for a long time.