Hi. My name is Blake. I like games and shit. I study at university... writing and that jazz, though you probably couldn't tell it. Ok, shit you want to know.
Favourite Games: Dark Souls, Resident Evil 4, Timesplitters 2, Silent Hill 2, Ape Escape, Banjo Kazooie.
Favourite Movies: Cabin in the Woods, Shaun of the Dead, Clerks, Fight Club, Machete, Dr Horribles Sing Along Blog.
Favourite TV Shows: Breaking Bad, Community, Arrested Development, Parks And Recreation, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Garth Marenghi's Dark Place, Black Books, The IT Crowd, Battlestar Galactica, Deadwood, South Park etc.
Favourite Bands: Maudlin of the Well, Diablo Swing Orchestra, Clouddead, Dalek, Smashing Pumpkins, Eminem, Cynic, Porcupine Tree, Ne Obliviscaris, Die Antwoord, Opeth.
Due to being a lowly student with no source of income other than Australia's Tax money, I haven't had the money to buy any new games that I want. So I've been revisiting some older games and trying to finish other ones. Among these are: Mass Effect 3, The Binding of Isaac, Silent Hill 2 and Vampire the Masquerade - Bloodlines. The interesting things about these games is that they all contain some very adult content.
I'll start with Mass Effect 3, which I started playing for about an hour then realised why I stopped. That's right: It's a shitty cover based shooter with a text based adventure attached to it, pretending to be an rpg. It doesn't do any of those seperate parts overly well, and even manages to fuck up the one thing the series had going for it: The story. But anyway, I'm getting off topic. I remember hearing all this hallabaloo about there being gay relationships in the game. People were going off their tits before hand because Shepherd could get down and dirty with a member of the same sex. To these people I say: Please, find a pointy object and bang your head against it so that society can evolve. I don't give a fuck if you're christian or muslim and your beliefs run contrary to their beliefs. Gay people are people too. I thought we discovered this around the time Elton John came out. And if your beliefs are that strong, you shouldn't be playing a game where you murder millions of people anyway. Hypocritic fucktards. I know you all watch lesbian porn anyway.
Now that that's out of the way, I can move back on topic. I am a firm believer in any form of media being able to explore darker and more adult themes. Thats what freedom of speech is all about. The Binding of Isaac touches on child abuse and heavy religious themes. Silent Hill explores sexual frustration, abuse, torture and “euthanasia”. And in Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines (Buy it, it's fucking fantastic) there's a big section about a daughter being raped, and accepting it because she thought thats what love was and him walking in on the wrong daughter and her killing him... It's all very deep stuff. These instances, if handled right, can make for interesting character exploration and plot devices. They can even convey a message, although they don't necessarily have to.
While I believe all these things should be present in video games, however, I do believe they should be handled correctly. For instance, one could discuss the topic of say: Child molestation. It could be a heavy theme in a game, hell, I'd even be ok with having a joke about it (after all, humor is the best combat), but I don't believe that the child molestation should be a part of the interactive section of the game.
You see, many video games shy away from these sorts of themes, opting to be politically correct, and if they do have dark themes, they do it for the shock value. But it sets a double standard, especially when we can murder millions upon millions of people, but a guy can't fuck another guy, or can't mention religious or other adult themes for fear of offending people.
Anyway, that's my little rant about that subject. What do you feel about homosexuality or other themes being present in games? Keep in mind, if you say anything homophobic, I may have to make out with you.
A lot of my blogs on here are written to point out an issue, or to help procrastinate assignments and neglect the education I'm paying 15000 dollars for. Every so often however, I write something with one purpose: To piss off fanboys. This too serves a point, as fanboys are like an alcoholic's wife, in that even though their husband pisses away their money, neglects her interests and beats her repeatedly, she still loves him and sings his fucking praise down the street. They make up excuses, stating "It's ok, he's doing this because he lost his job" or "I must be the one in the wrong, since he'd never do anything to hurt me..."
It is however important to realise, however, that while you may love your favourite game developer or console, that not everything they do needs defending. They've got people who write apology speeches for that. You're job is to buy their products, and hopefully enjoy them, and show them respect in the form of opening your wallet. However, when said developer fucks you over, or makes mistakes, it is important to point these out. It is important to request that nintendo make a new IP before I use mario's moustache to suffocate him, and it's important to tell Bethesda that they should treat all their customers with respect, not just the ones who take microsofts cock to the mouth every so often. Also, it's evil to sue indie companies for using a word, thus taking away free fucking speech. Are you going to sue the bakery down the street for selling cinamon scrolls Bethesda? Or what about every pc user ever for hitting scroll lock you evil fucks.
Anyway, I think you get the point. However, I will ask one thing: Play the fucking game before you judge it. Don't whinge because Dante looks different until you play it. Does his lack of hair throw his center of gravity off? Does all the My Chemical Romance he listens to cause him to give up and let enemies finish him off once and for all? Little things like that aren't anything to get up in arms about, especially when the game itself could still be orgasmically great. People whinged about David Tennant's Doctor Who when they first saw him, and guess what? He was fucking brilliant, so shut your festering gob you tit.
So in closing, fanboys: It's ok to admit that your favourite game has some flaws. I will: Dark Souls has a level called Blighttown which is the worst level in anything ever. Resident Evil 4 is one big fucking escort mission, and the person you're escorting is mentally retarded; and Silent Hill 2 has terrible combat. However, it's also important not to judge things off a knee jerk reaction. Wait till you've experienced said problem first hand before you throw chainsaws at it. Oh and one more thing: Memes. Are. Not. And. Will. Never. Be. Funny. Stop saying I took an arrow the knee or I'll force you to take a bladed dildo the throat!
Please note that I posted this on 1up a few days ago, so if anyone wants to accuse me of plagiarism, you can fuck off.
Well, Guild Wars servers are currently full, and I'm lagging like a bitch. So time for some fun. I've decided my pet hate today is publishers, the greedy sell out fucks. I've decided to see whether their seedy gaming practices would work in the movie business. So, I'll get straight into it.
Blizzard: Blizzard shouldn't be in the movie business, but film critics seem to adore them. They don't make films so much as they do make 20 minute episodes, release them once a month, make you pay 30 bucks for each one, which are then released on the big screen. The same thing happens in each one, and to outsiders it looks incredibly tedious and boring, but fans seem to become addicted to it. Perhaps it's a drug being pumped into the theatre? Regardless, Blizzard refuse to let people purchase dvds, insisting that if you want to view their product, you must be at a theatre, in a social setting, at all times.
They have a monopoly over one genre for years, which is partially because they've been the only ones to actually make a decent product in said genre. Well, that is until Arena net came along, kicked them in the nuts and said: "This is how we do things now!"
Activision: Activision and Blizzard have been teaming up for a while now, though they have entirely different philosophies in game making. Whereas Blizzard makes a product and supports it indefinitely, refusing to make anything until at least 5 years have passed; Activision release the same product each year with different actors and slightly different set pieces. They recently enlisted the help of the ADHD riddled Michael Bay to direct their movies, and have basically told him to go nuts. They mustn't have let him know about a secret Transformers movie though, because it actually turned out to be alright, and that smarmy cunt Shia La' Douche wasn't anywhere to be seen.
Bethesda: Long have they been the fantasy geeks go to, their movies are riddled with plot holes, dodgy resolution and the dvd's are prone to just stop working. However, fantasy fans will forgive anything as long as the finished product is epic, and epic they are. Bethesda have enlisted Director Peter Jackson to direct their movies, telling him that the films will not be released if it is under 12 hours. The movies are acclaimed titles, even though their "Depth" is derived from unrelated plot points that go nowhere and are quite trivial in relation to the overall plot, and the overall plot is just a Tolkien rip off.
Bethesda have recently shown their bad side though, trying to copyright specific words, suing independant companies, and going against a contract they signed with the original owner of one of their properties. Still, no one seems to care as long as their products maintain their grand scale, no matter the expense.
Bioware: Considered to be one of the greatest storytelling companies in the business, they originally stuck quite clingily to the fantasy genre before moving to the realm of science fiction. Typical tropes of Bioware films are interesting characters, action sequences that are all a bit samey by the end, merging genres of action and drama (but kind of half arsing both) and being the pioneers of the "Choose your own adventure" style of film, ensuring no two viewings are exactly the same, unless you're a boring fuck who hates change. Bioware's products are becoming increasingly dumbed down however, starting off as films for those with intelligence, but succombing to the whims of the people who enjoy films with Tom Cruise in them.
Valve: Years ahead of their competitors in terms of style, sophistication, and customer benevolence; Valve have rarely stepped a foot wrong, and when they have, they've been quick to remedy it. They recently released a new digital distribution tool that has grown to monopolise the industy, forcing Netflix into bankruptcy with it's accessibility and amazing prices.
It's films are of immense quality, pushing boundaries and causing imitators to try their hardest to imitate. Valve, however, made their biggest splash when they entered the realm of comedy, creating something fresh, dark and intelligent, and still managing to sell incredibly well. Despite all the good the company has caused, certain people have spoken out about it. Head of the Evil League of Evil, EA has pulled many of it's films from Valves distribution medium, and indie filmmaker Notch has spoken out against Steam monopolising the industry, even if it is because it's the only not shit distribution service out there.
EA: EA became the largest and most prominent film studio in the world. They grew to infamy initially due to steadily stealing shady business practices from their opponents and utilising all of them, forcing their beloved, unique franchises to copy ideas from other, more mainstream titles, and selling drugs to school children. Eventually, they decided films weren't enough, and decided to invade Poland, starting a global war. Today, they have become a world power, and recently lowered the legal age of prostitution to 8, but taxed it heavily so the families of the prostitutes remain poor.
There we go. Those are my ideas. If you have any of your own ideas, or want to write something for companies I missed like Ubisoft etc. feel free to do so in the comments.[/img][b]