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whatisdelicious avatar 11:49 AM on 06.15.2009  (server time)
The Voice of Reason: inFAMOUS > Prototype

While Mr. Sterling is certainly a brave man for choosing to play devil's advocate, the choice between inFAMOUS and Prototype is obvious. Therefore, I must respectfully disagree with Mr. Sterling's rampant disregard for logic. Consider this a public service announcement to help undo the damage Mr. Sterling has done to the gaming industry.

Here's why inFAMOUS is blatantly better than Prototype:

1. Better graphics = better games:

Any true gamer knows that a game isn't good unless it looks good, too. While inFAMOUS is a stunning beauty that justifies a trailer like this, Prototype teases players with an amazing opening CG cut scene and then drops them into a world of bland textures that pop in sporadically. That's false advertising, and frankly, it's disgusting.

Coincidentally, this point also illustrates why Killzone 2 is the best game ever and why the Wii is a total failure.

2. Cole has a gruffer voice:

If The Dark Knight proved anything, it's that you can't be taken seriously these days unless you're so damn manly that people can barely make out what you're saying. And let's face it: Alex Mercer sounds like a damn Girl Scout next to Cole McGrath.

3. Moral choices are all the rage:

While inFAMOUS embraces the Future of Gaming with its bold moral choices, Prototype stubbornly adheres to archaic game design and consequently has set the entire gaming industry back a generation. Perhaps two.

This is the year 2009, Prototype. Get with the times.

Cole is a modern, complex figure with real depth who forces players to actually face the consequences of their actions. Contrast Cole with Alex, a one-dimensional character no more complex than a child throwing a tantrum or Kirby with a gun, and it's easy to see why inFAMOUS is a superior game.

4. Hoodies are lame:

Cole spends most of his time murdering hoodie-wearing douchebags. Alex Mercer is a hoodie-wearing douchebag. Cole can kill Alex Mercer.

It's just logic.

5. Navigating Empire City actually takes skill:

Alex Mercer feels like he was made for your mom or dog to play as. "Just hold down the win button and watch him go!" Any real gamer that doesn't want a game to just play itself should agree with me that playing as Cole is far and away a better experience. You could accidentally sit on your controller and achieve the same prowess with Alex as an experienced player with hours of practice. Cole actually requires you use buttons to navigate the world.

While all I'd need to have Alex climb the most challenging structure in Prototype is a piece of tape, I'd at the very least need one of those drinking bird things to keep tapping X over and over for Cole.

6. Alex Mercer likes hentai porn:

And it makes me uncomfortable.

7. inFAMOUS was out first:

Prototype is obviously just a quick cash-in trying to capitalize on inFAMOUS' success. Having seen how well-received inFAMOUS was last month, it's pretty clear that Radical Entertainment just scrapped together some stuff last minute and threw it as quickly as they could onto store shelves.

8. Metacritic says so:

Ultimately, this is the only point that matters. As of writing this blog, inFAMOUS has kept an astounding rating of 85 on Metacritic while Prototype can barely hang on to a laughable 84 rating. Can it be any more clear than that?

Obviously, Mr. Sterling was either paid in cash or dropped as a baby to have written an article as brazenly retarded as that one. inFAMOUS is clearly the better game, and if you disagree, you can go die in a goddamn forest fire.

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