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Why I need EDS' Free Points: REPARATIONS
water lymon | 7:57 PM on 03.27.2008 26 comments




Welcome to the first of many (read: only one) entries into EDS's contest, which I see as mainly a way to spend his economic stimulus tax rebate check before he gets his money. After all, mo' money, mo' problems. My brother (racial, not genetic) taught me that.

I'm going to be straight up honest with you guys. I do not need nor deserve these points. There are probably plenty more deserving people on the site, and plenty more people that actually need these points. However, much like everyone on the site, free stuff is free, and being the greedy bastard I (we) am (are) sure I am (devo), everything is fair game, especially when it comes to FREE STUFFUMS. So why do I 'deserve' the XBLA points? Three reasons.

1. I am currently broke.
Currently. I'll have more money in April, which is, what, 5 days away? Who cares? I don't need or deserve it. But I'm still going to take my chances with getting it.

2. I am of the African-American persuasion.
Thats not a valid point, but I like to hold it over people that feel bad about it for some reason. Maybe their grandfathers were slave traders, or even their current father is David Duke, but it gives me leverage once in a while. (Read: never) Espeshully wif affurmativ akshin.

3. iono lol
This essay has to be 500 words right? Goddamn it. Well, looks like I'm taking a page from RevAnthony's book...

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Fin.



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22 comments | showing # 1 to 22
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wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 20:43
wardrox
win.

That is all.
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 20:46
Cheeburga
lul
GrayFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 20:47
GrayFox
He played the race card. Technically you have to give him the points now or face the wrath of Reverend Al Sharpton.
Ub3rSlug's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 21:07
Ub3rSlug
PENUS
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 21:16
Y0j1mb0
EDS:

I think your winner is here.

CONTEST OVER.
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 21:18
Brian Szabelski
Wow, damn, lemon... this is gonna be tough to beat.
smurfee mcgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 21:25
smurfee mcgee
dammit. i wanted those points. now I have to put effort into something.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 21:33
Bob Muir
He is quite black. You can't argue with those credentials.
Hoygeit's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 21:41
Hoygeit
Simply amazing.
Butmac's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 21:45
Butmac
Hahaha great outfit lemon

But seriously guys, reparations.
Takeshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 21:56
Takeshi
This contest was over before it even started.
B-Radicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 22:11
B-Radicate
You had me at Guiness armor.

Win.
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 22:33
MaxVest
Your guilt trip won't work on me. If I didn't let those two hobos out of the spike-pit in the basement -- and they gave very good reasons why I should, after they sobered up -- well, let's just say you'd barking up the wrong tree if I were giving out the points.
The GHost's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 23:11
The GHost
After years of tortuous slavery all he wants is some MS points?

Hey Lemon, I've got a "job" for ya... ;)
kaz's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 23:27
kaz
Is this going to be a democratic thing? If so I vote for Lemon
bleep's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 23:35
bleep
Lemon you know what I actually think you DO deserve those points after reading this...


oh Also penus
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/27/2008 23:54
BluDesign
Man, you're forcing the white man to tell you like it is about racial stereotypes.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9gj9uEeuDtQ
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/28/2008 04:07
Justice
This article made me lul, and stop snitching stop lying lemon, your name isn't "Temi" and you own cadillacs with multiple ho's at your every whim.
Pangloss's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/28/2008 05:46
Pangloss
Oh Demiadejuyigbe, do your lulz know no bounds?
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/28/2008 07:10
EternalDeathSlayer
This was funny. We'll see....
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/28/2008 08:16
EternalDeathSlayer
Did you make that pic just for this post? Or was it old?
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