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Why I need EDS' Free Points: REPARATIONS
water lymon \| 7:57 PM on 03.27.2008	26 comments

Welcome to the first of many (read: only one) entries into EDS's contest, which I see as mainly a way to spend his economic stimulus tax rebate check before he gets his money. After all, mo' money, mo' problems. My brother (racial, not genetic) taught me that.

I'm going to be straight up honest with you guys. I do not need nor deserve these points. There are probably plenty more deserving people on the site, and plenty more people that actually need these points. However, much like everyone on the site, free stuff is free, and being the greedy bastard I (we) am (are) sure I am (devo), everything is fair game, especially when it comes to FREE STUFFUMS. So why do I 'deserve' the XBLA points? Three reasons.

1. I am currently broke.
Currently. I'll have more money in April, which is, what, 5 days away? Who cares? I don't need or deserve it. But I'm still going to take my chances with getting it.

2. I am of the African-American persuasion.
Thats not a valid point, but I like to hold it over people that feel bad about it for some reason. Maybe their grandfathers were slave traders, or even their current father is David Duke, but it gives me leverage once in a while. (Read: never) Espeshully wif affurmativ akshin.

3. iono lol
This essay has to be 500 words right? Goddamn it. Well, looks like I'm taking a page from RevAnthony's book...

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Fin.

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22 comments | showing # 1 to 22

wardrox

win.

That is all.

Cheeburga

lul

GrayFox

He played the race card. Technically you have to give him the points now or face the wrath of Reverend Al Sharpton.

ZeroTolo

Ub3rSlug

PENUS

Y0j1mb0

EDS:

I think your winner is here.

CONTEST OVER.

Brian Szabelski

Wow, damn, lemon... this is gonna be tough to beat.

smurfee mcgee

dammit. i wanted those points. now I have to put effort into something.

Bob Muir

He is quite black. You can't argue with those credentials.

Hoygeit

Simply amazing.

Butmac

Hahaha great outfit lemon

But seriously guys, reparations.

Takeshi

This contest was over before it even started.

B-Radicate

You had me at Guiness armor.

Win.

MaxVest

Your guilt trip won't work on me. If I didn't let those two hobos out of the spike-pit in the basement -- and they gave very good reasons why I should, after they sobered up -- well, let's just say you'd barking up the wrong tree if I were giving out the points.

The GHost

After years of tortuous slavery all he wants is some MS points?

Hey Lemon, I've got a "job" for ya... ;)

kaz

Is this going to be a democratic thing? If so I vote for Lemon

bleep

Lemon you know what I actually think you DO deserve those points after reading this...

oh Also penus

BluDesign

Man, you're forcing the white man to tell you like it is about racial stereotypes.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9gj9uEeuDtQ

Justice

This article made me lul, and stop snitching stop lying lemon, your name isn't "Temi" and you own cadillacs with multiple ho's at your every whim.

Pangloss

Oh Demiadejuyigbe, do your lulz know no bounds?

EternalDeathSlayer

This was funny. We'll see....

EternalDeathSlayer

Did you make that pic just for this post? Or was it old?

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