When I play games online, a lot of people seem to frequently ask me questions which are all very similar, such as;

“Wow, how can you stay so calm?”

“Blimey, you're so relaxed and you are winning so much”

“What the fuck? Don't fucking team kill you fag!”

“I am amazed at how calm and happy you seem whilst playing”

After keeping quiet about my secrets for so long, I feel now is the time for me to reveal my 10 steps to true happiness. Although they seem simple, you need to stay focused, alert and aware at all times and you should not attempt this unless you truly do believe in yourself.





















So to recap, to achieve true zen online:

1.Admit – this is often the hardest part for any gamer
2.Locate – find the source of the problem
3.(R)eject – the first physical step is the first time you will truly test yourself
4.Prepare – you must be prepared for the next few, pivotal steps
5.Leap – take the jump, only you can do this
6.Rebuild – this is where you regain your strength
7.Motivate – do not give up, you are close
8.Believe – you have got to believe in yourself to succeed
9.Relax – do not be too hasty at this point, take it slow
10.Be Happy – you can now enjoy your new life

Also, cocks.