Dear Niero,
Hi, you don’t know this yet (ok, you probably do, you’re a fucking genius) but by next year the Destructoid Game Studio will be in full swing as a new, independent game studio. This is my application for a summer placement to work with you at the studio over the summer.

The studio will be set up at the end of this summer, but won’t really produce much until the beginning of next summer. This will be due to the fact all the people helping are volunteers; however next summer you will employ 3 or 4 people. One person to take the lead and 2 or 3 other people to specialise in sound, graphics, code-monkey, bondage etc. They will only be budgeted to stay employed over summer, just to see how it goes. This is where I come in, ok you would still need to pay me, however as a summer placement you can pay me really badly, treat me like crap, talk dirty to me, make me sleep in the gutter. Kinda like if I worked at EA.

Anyway, the reason you pick me is firstly because I spam you continuously for the next year. Secondly because I have dam good qualifications, specifically for becoming a code-monkey. Thirdly because I’m not a fanboy and am willing to listen and understand other people. Lastly because I adore Destructoid and understand the effort people such as yourself go to in making this site possible. I understand the passion you need to do this well and I believe that I have the passion to make games under the name of Destructoid. I also drink like a student and am a part time Pirate.

I will be trying to work for a games company next summer. This summer I’m working in London. Don’t get me wrong though, this job is awesome sauce, but I know I can get more out of doing something different. Instead of being at the bleeding edge of phones, I would much prefer the bleeding edge of gaming. I don’t want to work for the big companies or studios in the UK as I know they would suck my soul out.

Anyway, sorry to be all imposing, but the studio you found will become greatness and be made of so much win I want to get in on it.

I love you Niero.

Thank you for your time,

wardrox


PS, even if you don’t employ me, I would still like to contribute a lot of time and effort to the Dtoid studio, even as just a volunteer. I think Dtoid has the balls to make a difference.

Awesome, socks.