I've seen a lot of birthday blogs lately (congrats to all, btw!), and it has made me think about how despite my growing into responsibilities, relationships, and long-term goals, my love of gaming has remained undiminished by the cruel sands of time. (the metaphor, not the game)

Sure, by Dtoid standards, I'm practically a mummy at age 33, but I know in my heart of hearts that the child-like joy of gaming will never truly vanish. . . here are some ways to tell if you're still a true gamer as you start to grow up, cut your damn hair, and get a job already!



1. When you approach any kind of door with a motion sensor / motor, like at the grocery store, you still place one hand on your temple and the other outstretched so you can pretend you are opening it with your powers of telekinesis.




I command ye, portals of the supermarket, to open!


2. When you leave said grocery store, you veer towards the fastest/sweetest ride in the parking lot until you realize that you cannot jack it and head back towards your ride.

3. You have a line item in your monthly/yearly budget under the heading : 'Pew-Pew'.

4. You still occasionally look at the sun just long enough to get that greenish dot in the center of your vision when you blink, and then rapidly flutter your eyes at people in a crowd like you've had an ocular gatling laser installed in your head and are mowing them down.

5. You go to Dave and Busters for your birthday just for appearances, even though Chuck E. Cheese would still be perfectly acceptable to you.

6. When you pull up Google Maps before heading to a work function, and click on the icon for the destination, fully expecting the fast-travel function to kick in.




Travel time from Vvardenfell to Cyrodil -- 2.8 months.


7. You return your GPS to Best Buy, complaining that the locations of the police officers that pulled you over were not clearly displayed on the map.

8. You double-take when looking at your 'Tasks' tab in Microsoft Outlook, because it occasionally reads as 'Quest Log'.

(sample entries : Complete 10 spreadsheets and return to Boss, Vanquish 12 Dissatisfied Customer Concerns, Locate the Lost Toner Cartridge)

9. In the winter, you still giggle uncontrollably when your significant other offers you some "hot coffee" in the morning.

10. The right game can still make you feel like this . . .




This kid embodies the true spirit of STFUAJPG!