BECAUSE I JUST BOUGHT IT FOR YOU.*

In the words of Deckard Cain, "stay a while and listen" as I relate an hours-old tale of blatant injustice, blinding rage, and buyer's remorse.



Flush with cash from a medical test (seriously) and needing a pick-me-up after doing taxes, I walked into my local GameStop at Union Square, aiming to comb its shelves for unnoticed gems. It is a worthy activity. After all, that's how I scored a copy of Yakuza 2. I was also thinking of buying my first Wii title since No More Heroes, MadWorld.

As I browsed, silently resenting Stormrise's PC version for requiring Windows Vista, I noticed the last copy of Valkyria Chronicles in the store was sitting on the bottom shelf. This was not an uncommon occurrence. My usual counter-strategy would be to move it to row closer to eye-level. After all, most shelves stocked several copies of the same game side-by-side to take up the space, and one less image of Matt Hazard's eye-searing case art would in fact be a blessing.

But this time grave atrocities had been committed. Not only was the last remaining copy of Valkyria Chronicles shelved on its side, it was sandwiched in-between the last copies of Vampire Rain: Altered Species and Turning Point: Fall of Liberty.

Filled with a burning rage that no logic or financial consideration can withstand, I resolved to rescue one of the best, most under-appreciated games on its platform from what amounted to retail gang-rape. Hours later, it sits silently on my shelf in the comforting presence of various Atlus titles and its elder cousins in the Sakura Taisen series.

In other news, I didn't buy MadWorld instead leaving with the Wii port of Rune Factory.

Anyway, I have copy of Valkyria Chronicles, delivered from retail hell, now in need of a loving home. Will you be the one? You need but ask and pay for shipping. Just send me a message via PSN (or Wii-mail, I'm in need of a friend code on that platform). My only criteria is that you don't already have the game and were "on the fence" in spite of my and others attempt to drag you off it and onto our side.

Full Disclosure: I opened the copy and played it a little for testing. I'd also like you to pay for shipping, especially if you want something fast like UPS or are not in the US.

*One of you, anyway.