I'm torn between two schools of thought about the upcoming TNA iMPACT! (their typeset, not mine) game from Midway. On one hand, it's not Smackdown! vs. Raw, and that alone gives it a leg up over recent THQ/YUKE's efforts -- stale and slow with stupid story mode does not make for an enthralling experience. TNA's game is promising a faster experience than the SvR system, which has become so bogged down by this point that it's about as exciting as watching the Great Khali trudge his way to the ring, and the controls are apparently shaping up to be reasonably intuitive if early feedback is anything to go by. Essentially, this sounds like an experience that's at least slightly more entertaining than the usual fare that's been offered up in American wrestling games of late.


Sadly, the "Shoot Eric Young in the Face" minigame didn't make the cut.

So, where do these aforementioned fears come into play?

The problem with being optimistic about TNA's foray into video games is that, well, it's TNA. Having hope for something TNA is involved with (and this is without taking Midway's, um, dry spell into account) is practically asking the company to hit you in the crotch with a sledgehammer. Even when they do deliver something that blows away your expectations, like their phenomenal Bound for Glory pay-per-view last year, they tend to instantly undo everything that made their triumphs great in the first place.

I could list example after example and it wouldn't even begin to cover TNA's issues. The company's foremost problem, however, is that their TV show has become completely unwatchable over the course of the past 18 months. Undercard matches are compressed into three-minute spotfests, big moments never have any meaning because the show always has to move on to the next ridiculously stupid storyline as soon as possible (To the back with JB Jeremy Borash!), everything is played for (poor) comedy to the point where everyone in the company is booked like an imbecile, the production values are godawful (not to mention gimmicky), and to top it all off, Mike Tenay and Don West NEVER EVER NEVEREVER SHUT THE FUCK UP. The cognitive dissonance required to run the company and pretend everything is going well must be mind-numbing.


This is the face of genius.

Rant notwithstanding, a lot of these problems can be solved by the simple conversion to the video game format. The most satisfying experience of the entire game may very well be turning the commentary off, and the Russo/Jarrett/Mantell/et al. moronics will hopefully be kept to a minimum in lieu of open-ended fun when it comes to the story/career mode. The roster has some notable exceptions, but that says as much about the company's (wasted) depth as it does the game; promises of DLC are also intriguing, though price is always a concern when companies (other than Rockstar, whose sheer excellence has earned my neverending trust) mention DLC.

Even in the absolute worst-case scenario where it turns out to be spastic, gimmicky, ridonkulous garbage, the game will have the Motor City Machine Guns. The MCMGs have been scientifically proven to make everything better, and in the wonderful world of video games, they won't be buried despite their overness just because they don't want to blade.