Quantcast
Community Discussion: Blog by tsunamikitsune | Virtual Boy: 3D Gaming For MenDestructoid
LIGHTS:  ON | OFF
surf dtoid with arrow keys

HOT GAMES
REVIEWS VIDEOS COMMUNITY FORUM SHOP

pc PS4 PS3 NEXT XBOX XBOX 360 WII U 3DS PS vita ANDROID APPLE

REMOVE ALL ADS?
Guaranteed contest entry?
A new video show?
Something else?

Vote in our membership poll

click to hide banner header
About


Name: Eric "Kit" Neuhaus
Age: 23

Gaming Info:
Gamertag: kaizokukitsune
SteamID: tsunamikitsune
Kongregate: tsunamikitsune
Raptr: noisetank
3DS Friend Code: 4811-6947-1994

Other Websites:
tsunamikitsune on Tumblr
tsunamikitsune on Twitter
kaizokukitsune on Youtube

Notable Moments on Destructoid:
-I was a guest on everyone's favorite
unofficial community podcast, Failcast!
-One of my blogs hit the top 10
because Audiosurf is really fun to play while high!
-One of my blogs made it to the front page
because bear and bird are good at building!
-As of December 6, 2011, I've been a member of the
best gaming community ever for five years!
-I discussed review scores and why they suck with some of Destructoid's greatest!

Currently Playing (as of 8/14/12):
-Spelunky HD (XBLA)
-Iron Brigade (PC)

Favorite Games of All Time:
-Animal Crossing (GCN)
-Banjo-Kazooie (N64)
-Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts (X360)
-Bubble Bobble (NES)
-Burnout Paradise (360)
-Burnout Revenge (360)
-Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (PS1)
-Cave Story (PC)
-Chocobo's Dungeon 2 (PS1)
-Dead Rising (360)
-Diddy Kong Racing (N64)
-Doom RPG (Cell)
-Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime (DS)
-Earthbound (SNES)
-Elite Beat Agents (DS)
-Excite Truck (Wii)
-Fantasy Zone (TG-16)
-Gex 2: Enter the Gecko (PS1)
-Gitaroo Man (PS2)
-God Hand (PS2)
-Grim Fandango (PC)
-Harvest Moon: Back to Nature (PS1)
-Ikaruga (DC/XBLA)
-Infiniminer (PC)
-Jet Grind Radio (DC)
-Jet Set Radio Future (Xbox)
-Jump Ultimate Stars (DS)
-Katamari Damacy (PS2)
-Kid Icarus: Uprising (3DS)
-Kirby's Adventure (NES)
-Kirby Air Ride (GCN)
-Kirby Canvas Curse (DS)
-Kirby Super Star (SNES)
-The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64)
-Luigi's Mansion (GCN)
-Mario Kart DS (DS)
-Mega Man Battle Network 3 (GBA)
-Mega Man Legends (PS1)
-Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance (PS2)
-Meteos (DS)
-Minecraft (PC)
-Mother 3 (GBA)
-N+ (XBLA)
-The Neverhood (PC)
-No One Can Stop Mr. Domino (PS1)
-Paper Mario (N64)
-PaRappa the Rapper (PS1)
-Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (DS)
-Pokemon Puzzle Challenge (GBC)
-Pokemon Snap (N64)
-Portal 1/2 (PC)
-Psychonauts (Xbox)
-Putt-Putt Goes to the Moon (3DO)
-Resident Evil 4 (GCN)
-Rez (DC)
-Rock Band 1/2/3 (360)
-Sam & Max Hit The Road (PC)
-The Simpsons Game (360)
-Snatcher (Sega CD)
-Sonic Generations (360)
-Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Genesis)
-Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island (SNES)
-Super Metroid (SNES)
-ToeJam & Earl (Genesis)
-Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 (PS1)
-WarioWare: Touched! (DS)
-WarioWare: Twisted! (GBA)
-WarioWare Inc.: Mega Party Game$ (GCN)
-The World Ends With You (DS)

Reviews:
Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII (PSP)
Kirby Super Star Ultra (DS)
Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts (360)
Child of Eden (360)
Rhythm Thief & The Emperor's Treasure (3DS)

XBLA Games That Deserve Some Lovin':
Volume 1: The first of many
Volume 2: I'm a sucker for a sale
Volume 3: Free is such a bittersweet word
Volume 4: No skimming zone
Volume 5: Shooter heaven
Volume 6: More fun than a barrel of unfun games
Volume 7: Now you're thinking with grappling arms
Volume 8: Super Hyper Ultra HD Remix Deluxe
Volume 9: I swear I will write more if someone shows interest

My Rock Band 2 Info (thanks, Cutie Honey!):


My childhood hero, unleashed:


My childhood hero, riding a donkey (thanks, GAMEGOBLIN!):
Player Profile
Follow me:
tsunamikitsune's sites
Badges
Following (29)  




Only a few days ago, my awesome Virtual Boy arrived in the mail thanks to my friend who found it in Japan. I actually had one when I was a kid and they had just come out, but tossed it aside pretty quick after seeing a commercial for Kirby Super Star (which is still an awesome game). I missed my 3D face attachment, though, so I'm thrilled to have another one finally, even if it doesn't have a stand.

So, while all you losers are grooming your cats and spamming Hadokens on your 3DSes, I've been having a blast with the red and black wonder that is the Virtual Boy. Don't let the name fool you. They should have called this thing the Virtual Man. Mine came with Golf and Galactic Pinball, so I'm knocking all kinds of balls around in glorious 3D! I'm sure you pansy 3DS owners could only dream of playing with a manly pair of balls like I do every night rather than the lame monkey-filled ones of Super Monkey Ball. Better yet, I get to do it while laying face first on the floor like some kind of pampered royalty in one of those sex tables you find at massage parlors.



I also managed to dig my old copy of Teleroboxer out of my closet, which, sadly, does not involve balls, but instead three of my other favorite things: robots, boxing, and telecommunications. That's right. All three. In one tiny little cartridge. They even managed to pack it all into the title so you know exactly what you're getting into! I'm sure you 3DS owners are envious of that kind of candid entitling. I bet you didn't know what the hell was happening when you picked up Tom Clancy's Shadow Wars and it wasn't all first person shooter-y like you thought it would be.



Don't get me started on the pricing, either. I got my Virtual Boy system for $30 of pocket change while you dumb jerks forked out $250 for your shiny paperweight. And then you spent another $40 on some lame launch title like Pilotwings Resort that only lasts you as long as the battery in the system (which, by the way, is not very long)! My Virtual Boy has that beat in both respects: I can get some of the best titles on the system for only $30 and play for years with my AC adapter! And if I want to play on the go, I don't even need to dock it in some cheap charging station, I can just pop a handful of AA batteries in it and hit the road!

Now, I bet you're going to feed me some bullshit about the Virtual Boy being less portable than the 3DS. Well, I've got some news for you, Mr. 3DS (btw, the DS part stands for Douchebag Stupid). The Virtual Boy is every bit as portable as your dumb handheld with a little creativity. I know you babies like everything handed to you, so your video games are quick and easy to use right out of the box, but real men buy unintuitive technology and bend it to their will, just like I did with my now-portable Virtual Boy:



Choke on that. So goddamn portable that it'll make your eyes bleed the same color as the wonderful 3D you'll be enjoying as you walk down the street. Heads will turn. Small children will cry in envy and adults will toss their smartphones in disgust. Yeah. What up now? All you failures can pretend to enjoy your 3DSes while I endure more robust headaches than you could ever hope to experience on your baby toys. Headaches so deadly that Nintendo had to include an Automatic Pause feature (a feature I always turn off, mind you) so you wouldn't die playing. I bet that's why they discontinued it so quickly, because people of all ages were dying from brain explosions caused by Mario Clash. Nowadays, Nintendo is just too afraid of killing off its fanbase, so they scaled back the deadliness of the 3DS to a level that can only blind kids seven and under (who don't pay for their own video games anyway, so why should Nintendo care?). Blindness is for casuals. Hardcore gamers need their brains displaced.



In summary, Nintendo had it right with the Virtual Boy. Wicked red and black color scheme, monster headaches, and dual d-pads (that's right, who needs a touch screen? Or a slide pad? These are tools for the weak). All the ingredients required for a hardcore gaming machine. Just add your face and heat it at 450 degrees. Instant win. What do you get with the 3DS? The ability to put make a Mii jump out of your cat's butt? Fuck you, casual. Play a real man's handheld. A manheld.



The Nintendo Virtual Boy. Shit just got real. As real as it gets.
Photo Photo Photo



Is this blog awesome? Vote it up!




Those who have come:



Did you know? You can now get daily or weekly email notifications when humans reply to your comments.

Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)


BTW my 3DS friend code is 4811-6947-1994 if anybody wants to be internet friends! :D
Eh, I know you were trying to be clever, which you were at some points, but a decent portion of this just comes away as unapolagetically nasty and mean. You can take artificially confrontational writing a bit too far...
Rock on. Rock on.
That was hilarious, one of the funniest things I've read on the C-Blogs in a while. Keep up the good work
Just wanted to say that I love your avatar :)
Love the picture of you face down on the floor with the VB on your face. I feel less manly now that I have my 3DS. Less manly and sad.
Helmet. Yes.
@rexwolf2
I did feel a little bad about the "Douchebag Stupid" part (mostly because I thought I could come up with something better), but otherwise was it really so offensive? :P

@bbain
And I yours, my friend. I actually only just changed it to this after years of not updating my goddamn picture on this website. I've been away much too long, Destructoid.

@Portable Nerd
Don't feel too emasculated! I have a 3DS as well, showing the world that you can be a manly man gamer and still own a pansy system at the same time. I don't even have a game for it yet! I've just been playing Find Mii and the AR Games a ton.

Also, I hear they'll have Virtual Boy games on the shop channel for the 3DS, so that's something to look forward to, even if it won't obscure your vision like the real thing does. XD
I loved it! I don't even have a 3DS but I still feel inferior!

I'll post a couple of pics of my (also stand-less) Virtual Boy later if I can dig it out!
That last photo might be the coolest thing I've ever seen. God how I envy you, sir!
Hey Rexwolf2: Grow a pair.
Is that a Beatles or Three Stooges cookie jar behind you?
I laughed all the way through this. Great stuff. Quite Cracked.com-esque.
Awesome post.

Still have my Virtual Boy. Best believe my shit is manly.
What a post!
I remember getting headaches from the VB though when I was younger, probably played that Mario Tennis game far to long...
That helmet...

I need one of those for my Virtual Boy. Do you make them to order? I also need to fix my VB, the video cable for the right eye is loose. Take note that hot glue is not a secure method of attaching cables to anything.
haha, nice. Now I feel good about waiting to get a 3DS.
Lieeees, new is more expensive, although why would i want it new?

One of my friends had it, so I did get to play a few games on it, I would probably have ended up with one after Xmas or birthday if it hadn't have such a short life.
LMAO! This blog made me laugh! (fapped!)
I have a Virtual Boy (with head unit, stand, eyeshade, controller and ac-adapter) and I actually do have to say I like to play it once in a while. Virtual Boy Wario Land, Teleroboxer, Galactic Pinball, Mario Clash, and especially the Japan exclusive "Space Squash" are a lot of fun to play. I think people bash on the Virtual Boy before really giving it a fair chance.
So, a little follow-up now that I've actually played with it for more than a few minutes (yeah, I was just so hyped up about my new system that I had to write this post). :P

I picked up Virtual Boy Wario Land and rented Mario Clash from work today (I work at a used game store). Mario Clash is kinda neat (basically 3D original Mario Bros) and Wario Land is a lot of fun with its fancy layered platforming. This is confusing, because Mario Clash is $25 (and not likely to be worth that much as far as pure gameplay is concerned) while Wario Land only cost me $10 (but will likely having me enjoying a good couple hours of headache-inducing fun).

I'm thrilled to have one of the best Virtual Boy games for so cheap, but it upsets me that I'll have to pay $25 for the rest (we also have Panic Bomber and Red Alert at the store), as I do intend to collect all of them. Maybe I'll write some in-depth review down the road after I've enjoyed all the system has to offer.

Also, as dumb as it looks, I actually have been playing with that helmet contraption you see pictured above. My roommate laughed at me when he saw me playing Wario Land earlier, but sadly, it really is the most manageable way to play without the stand. Also, I learned that it's impossible to move anywhere when playing with the AC adapter, as unplugging the controller (which is connected to the AC) from the helmet will bring your game to a swift end.

So yeah. My dilemma: Buy a stand and be physically able to walk away from the game or invest in a couple pounds of AA batteries so I can endanger myself and those around me with my hindered senses.

I love this fucking system.
see everybody complained about the headaches, but my issue was always with how I had to wrench my neck up to play it.

I loved the system, but eventually it just became to impractical to play for long enough. Plus I am nearsighted and this forced me to do weird stuff with my glasses to get it to work. Wario Land on the system is fantastic however.

Back to Top
DLC   |   BEST Games of 2012   |   Best PC Games   |   Best PS3 Games   |   Best Xbox 360 Games   |   Best Wii U Games   |   Best 3DS Games




All content is yours to recycle through our Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing requiring attribution. Our communities are obsessed with videoGames, movies, anime, and toys.

Living the dream since March 16, 2006

Advertising on destructoid is available: Please contact them to learn more