(unable to disobey our future robot overlords, I trueB7UE, was forced into creating this list or face infinite end of computation. Thats 100101 for they'd fucking tear my brain from my body!)


Now i know what you're all thinking, 'a top 10 list for reals? has D-toid suddenly become Cracked.com!?' Now, now my sensually soft to the touch reader do not worry. This isnt a hostile takeover by a ridiculously lame site, its just a small scale hostile take over of your compassion receptors. You see for far too long, robots/androids/cybernetic beings have been shunned or mere cannon fodder in most video games. They range from an easy common enemy that explodes in hillarious ways to possibly massive bosses that best us often. I think it stems from our own feelings of jealousy that we place them in such a light. Do not fret puny human, they are our friends not our enemies. And instead of worrying about a highly likely, inevitable, soon to come robot takeover...


Sit back and read my delicious blog about the...

TOP 10 HARDEST WORKING ROBOTS IN GAMING


10. Teifu ----Phantasy Star Online Episode 3 C.A.R.D. Revolution


If anyone reading this has followed the PSO lore, I've already made a grave mistake in picking Teifu for the list. For you see he isnt really a robot, he is a Cast. Better yet, the biggest pussy cast to ever grace the PSO franchise. Casts, if you are curious dear lovable squishy reader, are a race that although metal and cold to the touch are considered equals in the eyes of the human and newman species. Unlike either of those races, cast's cannot cast spells of any kind (they missed that seminar in programming). Thusly they are suited for the tank and sniping classes. Anyways, Teifu is considerably weak a slave to a young girl (who ties him up and beats him to relieve stress) and often times referred to as a "she" by the fanbase. BUTT TRUBLU WHAY YOU PICK HEEM? Simple. The poor guy has it rough and to make matters worse, doesnt really add to the story of PeeEssOoh at all despite being a playable character. Hes just there to be made fun of, and hes personally my favorite character.


9. Cyrax/ Sektor/ Smoke ---- Mortal Kombat Franchise


Mortal Kombat in the eyes of a robot would be a laughable game at best. Their strange portrayal of robots and mortal beings able to ACTUALLY contest one another. Lets get one thing straight here, robots are better at fighting for so many reasons: 1. they dont feel pain. 2. They have no mercy. 3. they are always thinking of ways to disembowel all lifeforms. 4. they can calculate your next move 100000 moves ahead of you. 5. they cannot die. Cyrax and his gang of color swaps however, seem to be obsolete models.. They arent at all intimidating, unstoppable, or immortal. As much as i love them all (equally, no favorites here ppl) i often times find people do not choose them to play as. Thus is why they are on the list, they constantly die and are ressurected with the hopes of one day being picked by someone. To be played as and to be loved by...

8. Metal Sonic ----Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise


after two wimpy robot entries its time we get a badass in. Metal Sonic is the most badass thing Dr. Robotnik (aka Eggman whatever.) has ever come up with. A real contender to the velocity of what is Sonic the hedgehog in everyway. However he does surpass the blue blur in one area, cold and violent hate for all life. Shadow is an emo pussy, seriously he is, if you want someone who will get the job done and NEVER switch sides then Metal Sonic is your man. He will kidnap your baby animals, stuff them into adorable killing machines, and laugh the entire time. For goodness sake he turned into a giant robot kaiju version in Sonic Heroes, BY FAR the best part of that game. And no matter what, he never dies for good, his thirst for gamer's sweat and game overs is never quenched and thats why he is a perfect canidate for this list.

7. Cait Sith ---- Final Fantasy 7 (and all its incredibly long list of spin-offs)


(see what i did there, hes number 7 on the list AND HES FROM FF7 LOLOOLOLOLOLOL!!!1!!!111!!!1)

Cait is a two part robot combo of love. The little Cait on top is one part and the giant terrifying Moogle is the other. Do not let this adorable pair fool you however, theyre quite the little bastard. In the words of the great God of Faux news, Bill "lol"riely this is a NO SPOILER ZONE. So dont worry newfags to FF7 i wont spoil anything intricate to the plot. Just know that he is, and he is a little bastard. His weapon almost appears to be a joke, he has a megaphone. No seriously, a megaphone so he can yell at enemies. Think about the speaker power one must possess to cause damage to an enemy! Not only that but he has to tag along with such a ragtag band of losers... The poor guy had his work cut out for him, thank goodness his hardwork ends up saving the entire world *winkwink*

6. Jack Series -- Tekken Franchise


The Jack series are by far the most dedicated, strong, and unstoppable bots on the list. No matter what the number on the tournament, you know as much as Jin will be there so will be a new Jack. Each Jack becomes stronger and stronger with each passing class (Currently we're on Jack-6), including his two prototypes. Jack is a force of robotic nature. The Jacks fight with power equal to a small brigade of tanks and unfortunately move at the same speed. Thus making them easy targets of violence for the speedy. A quicker fighter can make quick work of a single Jack in moments. However, with as many Jacks as there are... I'd like to see them try and take them all down.

5. E-102 Gamma --- Sonic Adventure


I have to be honest with you my wonderfully honey covered reader... Gamma is my favorite character from the Sonic franchise in all. Never had a character been so completed, so deep, and so tragic prior to Gamma. Gamma was a part of the E-100 series of deathbots created by Eggman (Dr. Robotnik) to take on and destroy Sonic the hedgehog and pals. He also was the most combat ready and intelligent of the bunch, beating out his other brother, Beta, and gaining not only a new goal in life but a conscious and a conscience. Eggman decided to give him the task of collecting all the chaos emeralds and a frog with a tail, which he did flawlessly. However a lifeform intervened and pushed that newly developed conscience into doing the right thing, stop his creator and free his brothers. Unlike Gamma, the other E-100's didnt possess the ability to think consciously and only knew how to kill. Thusly Gamma is set to the task of "freeing" his brothers by termination. In the end, he succeeds but is destroyed in the process. Thus making him the most tragic hard working steel soldier. R.I.P Robo-Homie.

4. Tetsujin --Tekken Tag Tournament


Easily the robot on the list with the best memory, Tetsujin puts all martial arts masters to shame. Why? Oh i dont know maybe it has to do with the fact that it knows EVERY FIGHTING STYLE IN THE GAME?! Ok yes, he is a pallete swap to Mokujin, but regardless he is made of metal and has an AI that beats the fuck out of everything it comes into contact with. Sadly just like the Mortal Kombat bots, he can be beat. Some human must have tripped the programming and made him a big random raffle-o-chine of fail. Although Tetsujin possesses knowledge of every move from every fighter, he cannot use them all at once. Per fight, a random fighting style will pop up and cause the tin man to squirm or gloat based on the outcome of the battle. Sometimes a win will be guaranteed, sometimes Tetsujin will have to work for the victory.


3. Megaman --- Megaman Franchise


thats right babies. Megaman. 20 years strong and still kicking every robot who's name ends in -Man. Seriously I'm positive the guys at capcom have a formula (noun or verb)+man x 9 + final boss = new Megaman game! I'm talking classic megaman gaming, i dont know or care much for the spinoffs. Regardless however, Megaman is totally badass. Not only does he save all our puny human asses, but he destroys all his ex-best friends then takes their power and uses it against everyone and everything. Not only does he do that, but he does it every single time Wily decides to act up without so much as a smile. He loads the mega buster, puts the blue helmet on and that blue bomber is out to go kick some fucking bolt. He works hard so we dont have to (...die a painfully miserable death at the hands of Rapeman, Cancerman, or Drownman) worry.

2. Chibi-Robo --Chibi-Robo Series


lookit that suave mofo. I betchu hes listening to something totally fucking hot right now. Like your mom or something. Anyways Chibi-robo is my #2 pick because he is by far the most effiecient on the list so far. He cant complain, hes portable, hes adorable, and he cleans your house for free. Seriously FREE, NO PAYCHECK. All he asks for is a simple outlet to charge his adorable little batteries. Dont worry about tools either, he comes with upgradable options allowing for more tools to get those hard to reach spots all around the house. Not only does he clean better than your average latina house slave, he aids in divorce prevention and toy democracy. Seriously if you havent played Chibi-Robo, go play it now. Its adorable addictive, and the worst part is ITS A GAME ABOUT CLEANING.


and my pick for the #1 most hardworking robot(s) is:




1. Servbot-- Megaman Series


Thats right ladies and ladies, my number one is the legendary pile of adorable Servbot. Yes i know there is more than one, 41 to be exact in Tron Bonne, but 1 servbot could do all the loving, work, and amazing that every other robot on this list could. They are the unsung antiheroes of the Megaman legends games and seriously the only reason to own a copy of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 (i've already written a will so im ready to be burned alive nerds. GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT). They are so fucking amazing in fact they made a cameo in Dead Rising, a game about a weak human trying to fight off weak malfunctioning humans, as a Wearable mask. YEAH. you can be a servbot killing the hoard of zombies in a mall. Life doesnt get much better than that. Anyways, Servbots are amazing due to their inability to resist or say no to anything. While it might seem that they are in fact incredibly weak, thats merely a front they put up to protect us from the truth. You see they are compassionate and forgiving. Tron Bonne has a room for torturing Servbots and yet the Servies dont ever even consider tearing her skin cell from skin cell. They just accept their fate and appropriate the right response so they can continue to live happy lives. Seriously if the Servbot armies were to try and take on the world... It would be over so quick we wouldnt even be able to enjoy the curry with 'em.




So does anyone out there agree with this list? Am i batshit crazy? Or batshit stupid? Did this post blow your socks off or just blow you? Let me know please... the robots are watching and i'd really like to keep my brain in my skull where its nice and warm. Thanks.

(B.T.W. i listened to Robot Rock the entire time i wrote this post... had to get into the mood you know ; D )