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tonicmole avatar 1:12 PM on 07.19.2011
Technology is for Loser's

When Adolf Hitler invented the computer in 1792, I doubt he could of ever imagined the chaos that would ensue. From the time flux implosion of 1837, all the way to the 'Crisis of a Couple of Earths', technologies scar on humanity has been deep and pulsating. Fast forward to present day Earth beta, and many have found unravaling the twisted timeline since the '1954 Grand Prix through Time' disaster, almost impossible. Compound that with the now forgotten Playstation 3 time paradox which rearanged history as we know it due to it's awesome cell prossessor, and you start to wonder if it's all still worth it. My answer. Angry Birds.



Confused? Of course you are. It's a god damn time line paradox. Who butt-ass do you think you are? "Oh, I can read stuff on the Intranet, there for I understand the time paradox which is Angry Birds." Boulder-dash. You are nothing ,but a fool. You probably don't even know that armadillo's are originally from the moon........in the future. Yeah, suck that one down. In 25 million years the Earth is called the Moon, and the Moon is called the Chicken. That's where a peaceful race of armored people known as the Dillo's will rule The Chicken with love and understanding. Well, up until a lone Mayan Priest jumped through a polar warp vortex in North Dakota to recruit them in a war against the Spanish.....which they lost like crazy. Rolling up into a ball and being ran over by a semi seems to be the crapiest tactic since inner pant urination.



In conclusion. Though a great price has been paid for our mastery of iPhone apps, I think we can all hug each other while descretely pressing our genitals together and agree that we don't really give a poop stick about the stack of bodies and rewritten histories our actions have generated because that would be gay. (Note: With in the alternate time line designated E-233-5, the word 'Gay' has nothing to do with one's boner. Instead it is often used in place of retarded and sometimes it is even used as an adjective to retard. As in "That guy is a gay retard." Retard on the other hand means homosexual. Homosexual means Funnel Cake, which is the ONLY reason to risk being raped and murdered at a county fair. It's crazy good, but makes fat people even fatter, which is gross.)


 
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