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I am tonicmole, the prince of unicorns. Straight unicorns.....that breath fire and crap rainbows of destruction, like in the bible. They also feast on the souls of fire imps and pee on them....with fire. They constantly sing a wonderous song about the dangers of premarital sex, and how the danger is what makes it fun. I ride them to the top of Mount Airious where I cry to the god of good feelings known as The Southern Dandy to show me the way to the Happy Land. He replies, "All you have to do is believe in the magic of imagination." I then track his voice through the clouds and harpoon him in the face. As the god plummets from the sky he cries out, "Why!?" and I reply, "Because I am god damn tonicmole!" I then pee on him.
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tonicmole
10:12 AM on 01.26.2012
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