Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around
hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts


tonicmole blog header photo

tonicmole's blog

  Make changes   Set it live in the post manager. Need help? There are FAQs at the bottom of the editor.
tonicmole avatar 9:32 PM on 07.20.2011  (server time)
History of Vidia Games: Part Thrice

In part two of The History of Games, we covered the strong link between early gaming and Italian Pedophiles, and ended with the advent of Polygonal boobs, designed to aid in masturbating. Now in part thrice we will explore the present and future of Gaming, known as "THE ERA THAT IS VERY SIMULAR TO THE LAST, BUT IN HD!!!"

In 1996 AOL released the first Intranet, and families liked riding on it and eating parts that fell off, but it was easy to realize that it wasn't being fully utilized and had a bright future in spreading viruses, much like that street whore, "Pretty Woman". That's when President Bill Gate's 15th clone leaped from his air mattress and exclaimed, "What if we invent the Intranet and then connect it to gaming devices, like AOL does with hearts and minds?" His idea was quickly stolen by Time Bandits, who used the Intranet of the future to travel through out the history of mankind being butt holes. Unfortunatly they misunderstood what he said and invented Crystal Pepsi, which was delicious but undeniably a bad way. Ironically, Crystal Pepsi would of went on to greatness if it was more Pepsi and less clear piss.

Sixty seven years after Billy G's clone had the amazing idea of online gaming, AOL finally began constructing a new Intranet out of particle board instead of the more common, dryed mud. This new Intranet could reach speeds up to 2, and carry things as heavy as 17! This was perfect for the next generation of gaming, and promised amazing health issues would follow, like being fat, or blond men.

I mean seriously. Men that are blond just isn't right. What the frak is wrong with them, "I'm like a woman ,but with a ding-dong!" Yeah, real cool. How bout you all go back to Norway, and pretend to have nothing to do with Nazi's! Only woman should have blond and red colored hair. Next there'll be men learning to cook, and running restaraunt's, and claiming that their just Italian or something. Well, guess what? How bout you go flip flap jacks in Italy, where men cook, and woman make chickens fight each other to the death. I'm not saying we round up blond men and force them to eat excrement before throwing them into a pit full of Velociraptors, but then again I'm not saying not to. Just for Men, is like $15 or something, have some self respect and cover up you woman hair. Either that ,or we weave it into a noose and hang you with it. Metaphorically speaking.


   Reply via cblogs

Login to vote this up!


More Community blogs  

0 fappers have come:
Get comment replies by email.     settings

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our comment moderators

Can't see comments? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this. Easy fix: Add   [*]   to your security software's whitelist.

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -