Mass Effect is a game that , much like the Pacific Ocean and Jesse Jackson, will divide people until the end of time. So varied are the responses to it, one would think it was the equivalent of a pixelated rorschach: if a person wants to see an underwhelming, incompetent, and boring game, they certainly will. On the other hand, there can also be seen, if looking through a rosier-colored monacle, a Venus de Milo of video games; flawed, but no less beautiful because of it. This is the category I tend to fall into.

For every clever quip and rancorous remark that the game recieves, I can match with a redeeming quality. You say "frequent load times, textural pop-in," and I say "punching a reporter in the face." You say "combat A.I. is computarded, and team members stand in front of me," to which I reply "Use them as human shields if they don't move. Then you won't die so much." Lastly, you say "hours of endless dialogue that take away from the action." I say "blue ass."



No other game that I have played delivered the overall feelings of sheer epicness, consequence, and freedom like Mass Effect, and I am glad I bought an XBox this time around because of it. That being said, my only real complaint is that they just didn't make enough of the damned game, but I believe that complaint is always said in regards to any truly great, engaging title (except Oblivion).

My score:

9.8/10

Or "All aboard the Hype Train!"





Ign sold me a crock of shit, and here's the receipt. Now, I am not naive, and I understand that hyping a product can generate buzz which, in turn, can generate more hits to, and money for a website. However, I also understand that if a writer heralds a game as being "The first true next-gen experience," only to later recant that it is, actually, "...just another action title," he should either go back and add an "lol" to the end of the former, or get back on his meds, because nigga be all kinds of schizo.

If I sound bitter, it's only because I am. After reading the E3 preview, I, of course, hurried my lil' legs as fast as they would carry me to pre-order the game. After all, it's pretty hard to go wrong with the "First true next-gen experience." And that's where I fucked up. Don't misunderstand, it is a fun game in many respects, but unfortunately, even if I opened the box and a spectre of a bouncing Baby Jesus was dancing on the disk, it probably still wouldn't have been enough to match being hyped as the second coming of console games. And it wasn't. Oh god, it wasn't.

In conclusion, I suppose the moral of the whole sad story would be this: Opinions are like assholes; everyone's got one and most of them stink, but this mother fucker had two. That's just wrong.