Christmas is just a week away and you aren't in the mood yet? Well let Uncle Gamegoblin tell you his recommendations on the games you should be playing to get you into the mood. Many games have Christmas themes and I for one play winter levels every year to get into the spirit so why shouldn't you? For reference video games about Christmas aren't eligible so Daze before Christmas for SNES or, god forbid,
Elf Bowling won't show up on the list.


10: Sumo Santa & Bad Mr.Frosty, Clayfighter 63 1/3


Clayfighter 63 1/3 is an average fighter with a wild cast of clay-crafted characters which include two Christmas pugilists Sumo Santa and Bad Mr.Frosty. It's amusing to see Santa fling his fat at Frosty's face at hurricane speeds and Bad Mr.Frosty is one bad-ass motherfucker. He's probably not even snow at all, G's made of goddamn cocaine. Otherwise it's not particularly festive so it barely makes it on the list at 10.




9: Kujara Ranch, Tomba! 2


Tomba! 2 was awesome. Unfortunately it didn't sell well at all so many people never experienced it or it's predecessor. In a world filled with forests haunted with ghost pigs and pipe complexes running through volcanic undergrounds there is an area called Kujara Ranch, home of the Chocobo rip-offs the Kujara. Before the Evil pig curse is lifted from Kujara Ranch (don't ask) it's a virtual winter wonderland filled with icy slopes and giant Ice Golems waiting to kick your ass. With the help of a Squirrel Suit you can help Santa, who has lost his sack somewhere in the Ranch. He rewards you with a Fire Hammer and flies away on a flying motorcycle with a pig nose on the front (!?). Santa is rad.




8: Stage 2, Battletoads (Arcade)


Battletoads arcade is a beast completely separate from it's console brothers. Violent, crude and incredibly awesome, it's one of the finest beat-em ups around and Stage 2 makes it all the sweeter. Kicking some rat ass in a snowy mountainside with 2 buddies is an awesome way to kick off the family visit. Highlights include snowmen that hurl speeding snowballs at your cranium, killer reindeer that look like they've had way too many steroid sandwiches and small mice wearing elf garments that flip in the air like the gleefully retarded adversaries they are en mass. And to top it off, the final boss is a giant snake, completely unrelated to the events prior and it's like it doesn't know it was in a Christmas level.




7: Christmas Eve, Animal Crossing


In case you don't know Animal Crossing is essentially a life simulator and all facets of it's game play revolve around the current time and date. Most holidays that occur in real life have a virtual counterpart and Christmas is no exception. It's eerie to see them celebrating also and you feel almost compelled to give your virtual valuables to virtual villagers for virtually no reason whatsoever other than it being the season of giving. Have a walk around your village and enjoy the lit-up trees and snowmen scattered about, and remember to talk to Jingles the black-nosed reindeer in hopes that he'll give you free shit. It only reaches 7 because the game is already filled with multiple holidays and besides some free stuff it's just another day in Animal Crossing.
Click here to see what I mean.



6: Frosty Village, Diddy Kong Racing


Diddy Kong Racing gets to number 6 simply because of it's music. Listening to it makes me instantly merry as well as stiff from nostalgia and brings back memories of actually playing Frosty Village on my winter break in elementary. It's orgasmic. Otherwise without the candy-canes and tree lights it'd be a regular winter-themed race-course so it only get's 6.




5: Christmas Demo, Locoroco


Locoroco was cute and cheery enough but Sony Entertainment had to take things one step further with releasing a free Christmas themed level of Locoroco in demo form for all PSP owners. Everything from the music to the visuals scream Christmas cheer and if you own a PSP and haven't played it before you can't pick a better time to experience it for yourself.
Here is the download link for anyone interested.




4: North Pole, Twisted Metal 3


Drive all the way to Santa's crib and fuck his shit up. Drive around shooting other vehicles with weapons acquired by blowing up presents and cabins. Better yet, teleport to the center and level his whole goddamn fucking workshop to pick up the missiles they were seemingly building as gifts for children. A fantastic level and extremely entertaining, it never gets old driving up to Santa's front lawn and dropping his buildings one by one whether you need the weapons or not.




3: Christmas Day, Bully


One of Bully's more memorable moments, running to the office to receive a gift only to have your hopes kicked swiftly in the balls when you're forced to put on an embarrassing reindeer sweater was a sucker punch to both Jimmy and the player, and to add insult to injury every student snickers at your questionable choice of attire. Start snowball fights on the fresh snowfall and explore the area while school is off! Even better, Bully: Scholarship Edition gives you the option to do errands for a drunk homeless mall-Santa! Reminds me of my friends dad, except it wasn't Christmas and the kids didn't want to sit on his lap.




2: Winter Crash, Call of Duty 4: Modern Combat


Made available to PC owners last year, Winter Crash made the war devastated battleground of Crash into a beautiful Christmas-themed vista that made you stop the shooting for a second and just soak it all in. The starry night sky above the lights hung from every building and strung up on the trees were a visual treat.From the presents and snowmen to the candy canes, Infinity Ward clearly put work into making a Christmas gift for all their fans. Simply put it martydom'd. Martydom'd right into my heart.




1: Freezeezy Peak, Banjo Kazooie


My favorite level in Banjo Kazooie and one of my favorite worlds in video game history, Freezeezy Peak will put you into the Christmas spirit. Climbing up the giant snowman's scarf was crazy. Collecting the presents for the Bear children never get's old. And I ALWAYS make sure those Christmas lights get to the Christmas tree safely. Freezeezy Peak always seems to make me excited for Christmas even if it'd be less than stellar that year. Everything from the music to the giant presents grabs you and molests you with holiday cheer. I know when my family comes over this year I'll be humming the Freezeezy Peak music all day.


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Don't agree with me or have other Christmas moments? Comment! Also, Scary Womanizing Pig Mask is the best. Thanks for S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Scary!!!

Happy Holidays!