Unstoppable Juggernaut is my bestest internet friend in the whole wide universe. Forget that fat Texan guy or that mexican that's always in IRC, UnstoppableJuggernaut is the super duper-est. I'm writing this blog because I want to shout to every corner of the internet that I, GAME Hashel van Hashel GOBLIN has the best best friend ever, UnstoppableJuggernaut. We've had some wacky and crazy adventures together and I always like going through my scrapbook of memories of those totally spontaneous things we did.

Here's a picture of us riding a two-seated bike together. I told him to choose a better color but he insisted on dark green haha. We rode that bike for hours. Wowzers that sure was a blast!



Here's us at the bowling alley. Juggy was making a sceen, screaming "Fuck yo pins" and smashing everything. That's Juggs! Man, what a guy! He bowled a 240. High five!



He're us looking for sunken treasure off the coast of Hawaii! We found some neat fish but no treasure :( We never expected to find treasure though because we always had the treasure of each others friendship



We've been in some real sticky situations before, like that time Juggs got his helmet stuck in the doorway, or that time I was caught in a handicap parking spot. We've also been through a zombie-apocalypse together, boy was that an unpleasant experience! Haha! RELOADING hahahahaha! Just like that videogame. Yep, that videogame was pretty cool, Juggy loves playing it on his Nintendo all day, I'm always telling him to pause it but he says he's playing online whatever that means. Unfortunately we never got a picture so we had an artist's rendition done by comic book artist Gene Colan



And here's Juggy and I drinking a milkshake. Gosh that was a swell milkshake. And friendship made it all the sweeter



Thanks for going down memory lane with me! I've got to set up the scrabble table, it's our game night today :D

he would slide his hands down my jeans and tell me everything's gonna be alright, then throw me on the inflatable mattress and dim the lights

YEE HAW

Dang, cut off a little...

Made in MSPaint of course. All you artistic people, just try to make a nice picture in MSPaint. It's so goddamn relaxing. No layers, brushes, AA or filters. Nothing to worry about, it's just you drawing. And I give up on drawing in Photoshop, it never comes out the way I want it to :/

I'm trying to make this not a fail blog...

On a personal level I think I'm maturing way too quickly. It's gotten to the point where I don't really care about gifts on Christmas and I get enjoyment out of seeing my nieces getting theirs. Whelp.

Umm, here have another picture



Marcus sure is festive!

:D

D:

Merry Christmas guys, if I could I'd go to each and every one of your houses with a game in hand I would. You're all awesome, and I'm happy to be spending another Christmas Eve on Destructoid. And for those who don't celebrate, have an awesome day going to the theaters and eating at Chinese Restaurants tomorrow!

Christmas is just a week away and you aren't in the mood yet? Well let Uncle Gamegoblin tell you his recommendations on the games you should be playing to get you into the mood. Many games have Christmas themes and I for one play winter levels every year to get into the spirit so why shouldn't you? For reference video games about Christmas aren't eligible so Daze before Christmas for SNES or, god forbid,
Elf Bowling won't show up on the list.


10: Sumo Santa & Bad Mr.Frosty, Clayfighter 63 1/3


Clayfighter 63 1/3 is an average fighter with a wild cast of clay-crafted characters which include two Christmas pugilists Sumo Santa and Bad Mr.Frosty. It's amusing to see Santa fling his fat at Frosty's face at hurricane speeds and Bad Mr.Frosty is one bad-ass motherfucker. He's probably not even snow at all, G's made of goddamn cocaine. Otherwise it's not particularly festive so it barely makes it on the list at 10.




9: Kujara Ranch, Tomba! 2


Tomba! 2 was awesome. Unfortunately it didn't sell well at all so many people never experienced it or it's predecessor. In a world filled with forests haunted with ghost pigs and pipe complexes running through volcanic undergrounds there is an area called Kujara Ranch, home of the Chocobo rip-offs the Kujara. Before the Evil pig curse is lifted from Kujara Ranch (don't ask) it's a virtual winter wonderland filled with icy slopes and giant Ice Golems waiting to kick your ass. With the help of a Squirrel Suit you can help Santa, who has lost his sack somewhere in the Ranch. He rewards you with a Fire Hammer and flies away on a flying motorcycle with a pig nose on the front (!?). Santa is rad.




8: Stage 2, Battletoads (Arcade)


Battletoads arcade is a beast completely separate from it's console brothers. Violent, crude and incredibly awesome, it's one of the finest beat-em ups around and Stage 2 makes it all the sweeter. Kicking some rat ass in a snowy mountainside with 2 buddies is an awesome way to kick off the family visit. Highlights include snowmen that hurl speeding snowballs at your cranium, killer reindeer that look like they've had way too many steroid sandwiches and small mice wearing elf garments that flip in the air like the gleefully retarded adversaries they are en mass. And to top it off, the final boss is a giant snake, completely unrelated to the events prior and it's like it doesn't know it was in a Christmas level.




7: Christmas Eve, Animal Crossing


In case you don't know Animal Crossing is essentially a life simulator and all facets of it's game play revolve around the current time and date. Most holidays that occur in real life have a virtual counterpart and Christmas is no exception. It's eerie to see them celebrating also and you feel almost compelled to give your virtual valuables to virtual villagers for virtually no reason whatsoever other than it being the season of giving. Have a walk around your village and enjoy the lit-up trees and snowmen scattered about, and remember to talk to Jingles the black-nosed reindeer in hopes that he'll give you free shit. It only reaches 7 because the game is already filled with multiple holidays and besides some free stuff it's just another day in Animal Crossing.
Click here to see what I mean.



6: Frosty Village, Diddy Kong Racing


Diddy Kong Racing gets to number 6 simply because of it's music. Listening to it makes me instantly merry as well as stiff from nostalgia and brings back memories of actually playing Frosty Village on my winter break in elementary. It's orgasmic. Otherwise without the candy-canes and tree lights it'd be a regular winter-themed race-course so it only get's 6.




5: Christmas Demo, Locoroco


Locoroco was cute and cheery enough but Sony Entertainment had to take things one step further with releasing a free Christmas themed level of Locoroco in demo form for all PSP owners. Everything from the music to the visuals scream Christmas cheer and if you own a PSP and haven't played it before you can't pick a better time to experience it for yourself.
Here is the download link for anyone interested.




4: North Pole, Twisted Metal 3


Drive all the way to Santa's crib and fuck his shit up. Drive around shooting other vehicles with weapons acquired by blowing up presents and cabins. Better yet, teleport to the center and level his whole goddamn fucking workshop to pick up the missiles they were seemingly building as gifts for children. A fantastic level and extremely entertaining, it never gets old driving up to Santa's front lawn and dropping his buildings one by one whether you need the weapons or not.




3: Christmas Day, Bully


One of Bully's more memorable moments, running to the office to receive a gift only to have your hopes kicked swiftly in the balls when you're forced to put on an embarrassing reindeer sweater was a sucker punch to both Jimmy and the player, and to add insult to injury every student snickers at your questionable choice of attire. Start snowball fights on the fresh snowfall and explore the area while school is off! Even better, Bully: Scholarship Edition gives you the option to do errands for a drunk homeless mall-Santa! Reminds me of my friends dad, except it wasn't Christmas and the kids didn't want to sit on his lap.




2: Winter Crash, Call of Duty 4: Modern Combat


Made available to PC owners last year, Winter Crash made the war devastated battleground of Crash into a beautiful Christmas-themed vista that made you stop the shooting for a second and just soak it all in. The starry night sky above the lights hung from every building and strung up on the trees were a visual treat.From the presents and snowmen to the candy canes, Infinity Ward clearly put work into making a Christmas gift for all their fans. Simply put it martydom'd. Martydom'd right into my heart.




1: Freezeezy Peak, Banjo Kazooie


My favorite level in Banjo Kazooie and one of my favorite worlds in video game history, Freezeezy Peak will put you into the Christmas spirit. Climbing up the giant snowman's scarf was crazy. Collecting the presents for the Bear children never get's old. And I ALWAYS make sure those Christmas lights get to the Christmas tree safely. Freezeezy Peak always seems to make me excited for Christmas even if it'd be less than stellar that year. Everything from the music to the giant presents grabs you and molests you with holiday cheer. I know when my family comes over this year I'll be humming the Freezeezy Peak music all day.


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Don't agree with me or have other Christmas moments? Comment! Also, Scary Womanizing Pig Mask is the best. Thanks for S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Scary!!!

Happy Holidays!

It's on newgrounds now by recommendation of the comments and my friend Hayden bugging me about it. You can see (and vote on it) here

Late entry is late (It auto starts,if you missed a precious 2 seconds of the beginning right-click and rewind)


Why I'm a Ninja by ~GAMEGOBLIN on deviantART

Here is my entry for the N+ DS package set forth awhile back. I had a month to do it but rushed it in 2 weeks so it's not as great as it could have been. At first I didn't even bother with the contest, I didn't think I'd win anyway. Then I remembered this and decided that I needed a DS in my life. I'm still proud of my work and I'm just happy that I finished it in time!

I was going crazy trying to convert the .swf into a usable format to upload somewhere but youtube AND dtoid player refused to work. So I resorted to Deviantart. Yeah.

There's no preloader, just wait if you're stealing the neighbor's connection and it's not loading.

I'll get a few things out of the way; I'm not a thief (except in Necros' eyes <3). This was probabily the biggest thing I've stolen in my entire life, well physically. You could say I'm a pirate now but that's unrelated. Sorta.

Ultimate irony: Guess who's mic I borrowed to record this video? Jim fucking Dupus, that's who. Oh, and don't show this to Jim either, this is just between us ;)

Jim, you know who you are. If you're reading this, you need to lose some weight.

And no I won't give Jim the DS if I win.

Special thanks to Rockvillian for various Flash help and being overall an awesome guy, Hayden because you're reading this and you'll complain if I don't, and Coonskin05 for nothing really, I just wanted to say hi. Hi Greg.

Hope I win! Good luck guyzzzz

Today is Gregory Lockwood's birthday. Greg, also known as coonskin05 is one hell of a dtoider and has become a big part of this website of ours. When I first started talking to coonskin05 he told me he was texan. I just assumed he looked like this:



A week later we were cybering (I was under the handle hockeygirl16) and he sends me his picture. What I saw was breathtaking



He's a passionate dtoider and a really nice guy. Hell, I sent him my Dreamcast for free, and I fucking loved my Dreamcast. The shit he's helped me with (not much but it's there) deserves appreciation. When you become World Famous Internet Videogame Blogger/World Famous Sanitation Engineer don't forget about the canadian. Here's hoping you have a good one meng


This blog reeks of homosexual overtones...