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8:18 PM on 02.01.2009

10 thinks nobody cares to know about taumpytears

[b]1.]/b] I own 19 video game systems. PS3, 360, Wii, gaming PC, DS, PSP, PS2,PSX, Neo Geo, Neo Geo
Pocket Color, Atari 2600, NES, SNES, Genisis, Sega CD, 32X, Dreamcast, Game gear and a Virtual boy.

2. I want to be Conan O'Brien. Look at the guy, he has an amazing job and loves it. I could see myself
hosting a talk show.

3. I have built like 3 or 4 computers. its something i like to do and I get better at it every time I do it.

4. I have never had a girlfriend. It's pathetic yeah but does it really mater?

5. I also have never been drunk. I may start drinking eventually, I just don't really feel like it now.

6. I am unemployed. I had a job but I quit because I am a dumbass

7. I am terrible at typing. Just ask IRC.

8. My favorite thing to do is sit around and crack jokes with my friends, just ask flooky.

9. SNES is my favorite system of all time. It was my first love and I have no clue what I would be like
today if I never got one.

10. I don't care what you say, Tim & Eric are hilarious.   read

1:36 PM on 01.06.2009

Woah, its Tyra Tuesday

Be nice to your friends Tyra! They are not to eat.

Watch out Tyra, your face may get stuck like that!   read

12:04 AM on 01.04.2009

I hugged Lemon...

...and now I have to go to jail and when I get out I need to tell everyone in the neighborhood.   read

10:07 PM on 07.03.2008

Taumpytears: Year One NVGR NSFW CAUTION 56K USERS

Well It has been one year since I created the Taumpytears account, I was a lurker before that, but I consider this my first anniversary. Well in my one year of being a member of Destructoid I have seen a lot of awesome stuff, meet some awesome people, and been rickrolled a couple times.
I have never even bothered entering an online community. But in Destructoid I found people that I am as close with as some of my real world friends. From the various secret societies I have seen to...... screw this peachy crap lets see some sexxxies.
For the fellas.

For the ladies

And something for us all

caution   read

1:17 AM on 07.02.2008

CBlogs Recap Recap 7.1.2008

Today we have a good amount of CBlog recaps. Tune in later for Taumpyisms.

Taumpy's Picks
Conrad Zimmerman does it again   read

9:34 PM on 06.09.2008

Attention all Slurpee/Hulk Fanatics!

If you are anything like me then every time you sit down to enjoy a Slurpee you thing, "the one thing this could use is a Hulk product tie in" and when you read Hulk comics you think" If a frozen treat themed super villain turned the Hulk into a Slurpee what would he taste like?" All of our prayers have been answered in the form of the new Radiation Rush flavored Hulk flavored Slurpee! And just when you thought things could not get any better the super delicious new drink will come in cool limited-tome only cups! I have not been this excited since the Star Wars Pogs Sluprees of my childhood! In these tough times its nice to know that the good folks at 7-Eleven are still turning out creative themed drinks based on all the best summer blockbusters. Radiation Rush Slurpee Drinks New Slurpee flavors are at the heart of 7-Eleven promotions, and 2008 is stacking up to be the biggest Slurpee summer ever. The featured flavor for June is Radiation Rush, a bright green-colored frozen drink flavored like a tropical fruit smoothie made with strawberries, pineapple, lime and a twist of guarana. No Slurpee promotion is complete without cool cups, and this one is no different. Three 3-D, 22-ounce size cups featuring morphing images of THE INCREDIBLE HULK characters %u2013 the Hulk and his oversized foe, The Abomination -- can be coupled with straws featuring removable figurines of the same, which can stand on their own. Since 7-Eleven introduced special straws with magnetic characters as part of %u201CThe Simpsons%u201D movie last summer, collectible straws have become popular with its younger customers.

A mock-up of what fans expect the tasty beverage to look like made by noted Sluprie enthusiast Brayne_Fr33z3_fo_lyf3 This is gunna be the best Slurpie Summer ever!   read

11:44 PM on 05.30.2008

Who wants to see some new Venture Bros?

Well the wait is finally over, screw that Sunday shit. Adult Swim provides and shamelessly I take all the credit for the first episode of the highly anticipated season 3 of the Venture bros. I would embed but they... I mean I did not provide an embed code. I watched the whole thing and they get things off to a good start in my opinion. Sorry for the short ass blog I just wanted to beat the others to the punch.   read

9:36 PM on 05.22.2008


Every once in a while you see a movie, while not explicitly violent or sexual or whatever is still creepy as all Hell. A Czech version of Alice in wonderland, creativity titled Alice is one of those movies.

Alice in wonderland is a bit creepy on it's own, as are many of the things Disney made movies about. This version is a mix of live action and stop motion. I know what you are thinking,"w
Whats so bad about stop motion? You mean like Robot Chicken and shit right?" Well this is a bit different. Where Robot Chicken uses toys and clay Alice uses dead animals. Let me repeat that, ALICE USES REAL FUCKING DEAD ANIMALS! The white rabbit it a stuffed rabbit that eats its stuffing out of a hole in it's chest(coincidentally where it keeps it's time piece).

It doesn't stop there when ever a character talks it zooms in on Alice's mouth while she narrates the whole bizarre thing! She even turns into a creepy doll.

Overall I get the impression that a creepy man made this movie and he wanted it to seem really deep. Watch it you you thing you may get a kick out of it, i did. But I would not consider it a good movie by any measure.   read

12:48 PM on 05.22.2008

If you love it change it:Pokemon

The first time I played Pokémon I was hooked. My best friend gave me a copy of Pokémon Blue and a red Gameboy Pocket for my birthday/ a get well gift. I started playing immediately. I had wanted Pokémon for a couple months at that point and was the last kid in my class to get it. For the next year and a half all that mattered to us was Pokémon. My favorite game in the series was yellow by far. I liked the new graphics, getting all three starters in the course of the game, the Pikachu, and the minigames. Having a more direct relationship with your Pokémon really seemed like a good idea to me. One of my main complaints was that Pikachu was the only Pokémon that would follow you.

If you have ever watched the show then you will know that a Pokémon battle is far more complex in real time. I don’t mean to say that turn based combat sucks but a real time Pokémon game would kick some major ass. Imagine this, a Wii game where you run around as a trainer (that may or may not be made in a character creator) like in the traditional games, but when a battle starts is when the changes start. Your party leader, lets say a Bulbasaur, enters the battle. Instead of the standard menu based combat you control Bulbasaur. You can run around a 3-D environment and use your 4 attacks like they would in the show. For instance if you use razor leaf on the Charmander you are fighting he could just use a fire attack and destroy the leaves before they even touched him. The possibilities for combat like this extend beyond stuff like that. A Pokémon who could jump or run fast or whatever could have some interesting advantages. The Pokémon would feel more like the Pokedex described them.
I would also like to see the game be a bit more open ended. Lets say for instance you are an evil son of a bitch who likes to take things that don’t belong to you. Then join Team Rocket! Steal other peoples Pokémon and send them to Giovanni, or even take Giovanni’s position! If the breeding thing seems good to you then become a breeder and watch Pokémon have sex!(sicko) Like in yellow I would like all the pokemon to have a personality like Pikachu. His mood and attitude would change based on what you did. A Charmeleon is a little punk bitch? Then let him act that way. The attitude/ personality type could even effect how the Pokémon develops.

Also screw those new Pokémon, it’s the original 151 all the way, but that’s a matter or personal opinion I suppose.
Thank you so much for reading!   read

3:43 AM on 05.13.2008

New MGS 4 Trailer

A new MGS 4 Trailer just went live and it actually made me less excited about the game. The trailer makes it look like some generic summer blockbuster. They even have that same announcer guy. Who ever made this trailer really dropped the ball imo. I realize I am setting ym self up for a disappointment with my hype for this game but I don't care.
[embed]85772:11272[/embed]   read

9:02 AM on 05.12.2008

First MGS 4 Review (via Kotaku via OPM UK)

I was browsing Kotaku when I stumbled across their coverage of the UK version of OPM. Surprise surprise the completely unbiased magazine with no reason to be favorable to a major playstation game gave it a 10 out of 10. The "review" even comes with what may be a spoiler.

Possible spoilers below, don't read pic if you don't want to see a possible spoiler. It's not my fault if you read it now!

While I think all reviews, especially those from console specific magazines, should be taken with a grain of salt this is exciting news. June 12th is not all that far away anymore and I am looking forward.   read

12:25 AM on 05.12.2008

NVGR: Plasmatics

I was looking through my old music collection when I saw a name that screamed epic videos, The Plasmatics. The lead singer for the plasmatics, Wendy O. Williams(R.I.P), has a well earned reputation for insane stage theatrics. She chainsawed cars in to, blew shit up, and took her top off all in the name of Rock and Roll. For me the most over the top thing she did was the music video for The Damned. If you dont dig the music skip to about 2:35 and watch until the end to see what a real woman looks like.
Sorry to troll like this but I thought a Dtoider or two may enjoy this.   read

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