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taterchimp's blog

taterchimp's semi sober personal blog (NVGR)
2:11 AM on 03.15.2015
I beat Mercenary Kings out of Spite
6:45 PM on 01.27.2015
2014 was an awesome year for gaming: My Completed Games
5:33 PM on 12.31.2014
Taterchimp's Streamtoid: Season 2 Vote
12:10 PM on 08.22.2014
Some Love for Warhammer 40k: Space Marine
12:52 PM on 08.17.2014
Wii U Storage Solutions
9:19 PM on 07.21.2014

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taterchimp's Profile Destructoid
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My Belmont Run for Dark Souls can be seen


I also did a blind run of the DLC, which you can view

And here

I also covered the progress of building my own gaming PC. I had no experience, and overall, it wasn't all bad! If you are on the fence about it, I suggest you read about my efforts

And here

The series never had a part 3, because I was having waaaaay too much fun playing it. Suffice to say that it does alright these days.

Thanks for stopping by my blawg!
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Hey Destructoid.  In the 9 years...wow, 9 years, really?  Nice.  In the 9 years that I have known you, one of my favorite community blog things was always the dude who would jam out a drunen blog.  I want to say it was BahamutZero?  I don’t know.  I remember the icon.  There were a few other people who would do it, but that guy was legendary at it.  Today, I hope to join the ranks, except not really.  Tonight, I just wanted to blog to get things off my chest to an anonymous crowd, and maybe get the feeling that some people are on my side.  At the very least, no one commenting or liking the blog won’t hurt my feelings.  And if you don’t like the blog, hey, you are on my side anyway - I really don’t like when people do this kind of stuff myself, and I don't really have a good reason for that.  I probably just try to make me happy, and those blogs make me sad.  Lets go with that.


So I guess the elephant in my head is anxiety.  Anxiety really blows.  For twenty six out of the twenty seven years I have lived my life, I didn’t know what crippling anxiety really was.  I always though a panic attack was where your mind rushes around, trying to figure out everything to and prioritize it, and that some people just couldn’t deal with it.  Then last year I started having panic attacks and realized how much they really suck, and how powerless you are against them.  I want you to think about what the top five symptoms are for a heart attack, off the top of your head.  Chest pains, arm numb, shortness of breath….you get all of those with a panic attack.  It feels straight up like you are going to die.  And this happens every single night until you go to the hospital or your doctor and gets tests done and they say you are fine.  Except you can’t trust them, because it feels like you are going to die of a fucking heart attack.  Eventually I got used to the concept that death wasn’t imminent, but the symptoms still blow, and were enough to take me out of work.  So then I started to fear the panic attacks themselves, which triggered more panic attacks.  Until I finally got drugs to kick in, it was a constant cycle of panic attack after panic attack.

Why?  There was a lot of personal stuff in my life that I guess I just couldn’t deal with.  My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer (and has since been treated and recovered!), I have had some ‘family issues’ that I don’t wish to disclose online, but safe to say that it has made it difficult to communicate with my brother, who used to be one of my best friends.  Finally, my best friend from high school was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship (which she is now out of), and would tell me details fairly regularly.  Combine that the regular burdens of every day life, and it was just too much.


I guess I feel like there is more of a burden with everyday life than normal on me.  I’m not sure though.  For my go to example, I want to use DotA.  Its a 5 on 5 game, and I feel like I could let down 9 people if I play poorly.  Before every game starts, after 200 hours of playing, I get knots in my stomach.  I actually have to cancel the 2 minute match finding timer thing so I can talk myself down and say that I will be fine for an hour, even if my team yells at me.  Every time I want to play.  This applies to any game with multiple people.  Magic the gathering?  I think I’m alright, but I still get nervous while playing people that I perceive to be better than I am.  When I played Call of Duty I would only play 8v8 or higher, so I could hide my stats, or say I had horrible spawns.  


This applies to my at home life as well.  I guess I really don’t have a lot of self worth.  Stupid example would be when I brought in desserts to work one day.  They were little chocolate cups that I saw on a Jacques Pepin cooking video.  Super easy to make, so I made a few and brought them into work.  Everyone at them, and they all said how much they liked them - its chocolate, how could they not?.  But I still don’t know if they were good or if they were just being polite.  I never know.  I assume that people don’t want to offend most of the time, and wouldn’t tell me if they were bad.  Or, more topically, in the case of blogs, they wouldn’t tell me that a blog was dumb, written poorly, etc.  Some of my more successful blogs (of which there are few lately...I haven’t been writing a lot) really meant a lot to me.  Something about people going out of their way to comment and fap kind of validates the people pleaser part of me.  I was ecstatic when I got on the front page.  Yet, I can’t even mention how many blogs I have started to write only to scrap halfway through because I didn’t think they would live up to my standards.


So I want to talk about my anxiety medicine, because I can, and you have read this far.  Hah.  You are trapped.  The medicine I am on has a few side effects.  The first is that I am tired all of the time, and have a much harder time focusing that I usually do.  It has been hurting my work, and making my home life suck.  Have you ever looked at a library of 10 fresh games, and decided to just sit around and watch twitch instead?  Yeah.  I would love to clear out my backlog, but I just can’t muster up the effort to play games that I love.  Second side effect is that I can’t drink as much as I used to, and if I do drink, I feel like shit the next morning.  Spoilers: by the time you read this, I will feel like shit.  Resting heart rate of like 140 kind of blah, because I hate medicine that much.  The upside, I guess, is that I can get drunk super easily now!  And you know whats better than a panic attack?  A drunken panic attack!  Yay!  So I kind of lost one of my favorite escapes from reality.  And now I am in this weird half world where I don’t know why I drink:  I know it will make me feel like crap.  I know it will not lead to new friends (I mostly go out and check my phone.  I used to say I went out to drink and met girls to get over my debilitating loneliness, but I realized that was a lie 1 year into 5 years of drinking while single.  Yay!)  So I get nothing out of it but longing for what it used to be.  And I know it is bad for me, but I can’t bring myself to give it up, because it is something to do on Saturday nights.  I guess that means I’m addicted.  I hit 5 of the 6 signs of alcoholism, which is really ironic considering I haven’t been drunk enough to really lose my mind in well over a year.  


I don’t know the point of this.  There was a really good chance I wouldn’t post it.  I guess the upside is, part of me feels like I have some kind of home here, even if part of me feels like a no one.  I have been on the site since 2006/2007 and have a few people who I consider to be ‘cool people’ on the site, but I don’t have very many people I would consider friends from here.  No one I would want to ask a favor, or work through a tough problem in my life.  I suppose that is true of my real life friends as well.  Anyway, having this group to write blogs to has been helpful when I have been down before.   I wish I could write more, but between a lack of ideas, a lack of esteem, and a surplus of anxiety, it has been rough.  Thanks to all who have been supportive of my efforts I guess.  You know who you are.  




Blog end!  I feel like there was more I wanted to say, but I guess this will do for now.




Mercenary King’s is a bullshit game made by people with their heads up their asses.  Every ten minutes there is some glaring flaw that should have been caught by someone who had half a brain.  And I’m just about done with it and haven’t been able to put it down.  Lets break it down shall we:

Mercenary Kings borrows from about a dozen different games.  At the front is Metal Slug, because both games have stunning pixel art, and involve going ‘bang bang bang’ until something dies.  Instead of a 1 hit kill, you have a health bar, making things more fair.  Yay.  

Next, it takes every shitty stupid part from Monster Hunter.  First you pick a mission -  and already this bothers me - you pick the mission you want to do, then you have to talk to the helicopter guy to go on the mission.  Why not just start the mission?  Well depending on what mission you are taking, you might  need different gear.  You can heal yourself, trap enemies, throw grenades - all that good stuff.  Unlike Monster Hunter though, you only get 2 inventory slots.  Didn’t bring the right equipment?  You now have to scrounge the map for it, or you can order in an air drop.  You get about 2 air drops per level.   Some levels have 5 or more doors you have to blow up just to navigate to the end.  Oh, and you can only carry 1 block of C4.  So you find 2 in the wild, schlep your way out to a blow up point, blow it up, schlep your way back, pick up more C4.  Why not allow a larger inventory?  Or more stacks?  Because this game hates you.  Personally.  It saw you eye banging the pixel art, and it is pissed.  

In all fairness, the game knows you would hit it

So let’s talk about the bosses.  They can spawn at one of multiple locations on your map, marked by a skull icon.  You can buy an upgrade that tells you which one.  So after you check three locations, and have narrowed it down to the fourth, you can finally fight the damn boss.  Now, in all fairness, the bosses are really good.  I want to throw out Dark Souls, but a super light version of it.  The bosses all have excellent tells, easy to identify patterns, and almost always give the feeling that if you were the best player you could be, you could beat them without taking any damage.  I was constantly excited to find out what the new boss would be so I could study it.  And if you die while fighting one, you get 3 mans per stage, so you can trek back through the stage to get to the boss and have another go (while still keeping all damage done).  My favorite so far was a series of bosses.  They introduce them one at a time, and they all have the same patterns, so you get a good feel for each of their fights.  Then you fight all 3 at once, and it turns into this beautiful mayhem.  It was mentally taxing trying to remember each action required to dodge each pattern, and while I get my ass handed to me multiple times, I always wanted to come back and give it another go.

Now, in Monster Hunter style, you can capture some bosses when their health is critical.  This requires a capture grenade, which we hope you brought.  You didn’t?  You can air drop two in!  Missed those?  Well, just restart the whole level again, you can get it next time champ.  Just replay the whole level, drain most of the bosses health, and try again.  We just want to give the option to waste an enormous amount of your time.  Speaking of which, you know what feature in Monster Hunter was literally the worst?  Monsters running away.  Yeah, they do that here, too, but worse.  See,  in Monster Hunter, you could tell ‘oh hey, its going into a cave, I can go into that cave and find it’.  In this game? Nah, it just went, like, wherever.  So you have to cross more goons, pit traps, and pixel-hating jumps, then you can fight him again.  If you take long enough to get there though, he may have just up and left anyway though!  You can spend ten minutes just chasing down a boss, all while using up your limited health items and/or lives.  It. Sucks.

So let’s talk about one other influence for the game:  anything 8 bit that made you pull your hair out!  Respawning enemies?  Done.  Medusa head flying enemies?  Done!  Environmental traps?  Tons!  Environmental traps with medusa heads, and oh yeah, the medusa heads can phase through walls where you can’t possibly shoot them?  You better believe we got that covered.  You can scroll the screen in any direction to see what is coming up, and sometimes you can use this to ‘snipe’ enemies at the edge before they aggro (again, very Dark Souls-y).  Sometimes, you scroll the screen all the way right, then a swarm of enemies spawns from the left.  Which you literally (and not that figurative kind of literal, either) just cleared out 2 seconds ago.  Welp, guess you just have to take that hit.  Some areas don’t let you scroll the screen, such as when a ladder goes to another ‘section’ of the level that they didn’t want to spoil with your damned scrolling.  And sometimes, there are enemies just off screen on these segments.  So you literally have no way of knowing they are there.  Even if you are playing hyper cautious, you just have to eat that damage.  They also do this with electric traps, spike pits, flame pits, etc.   As long as I’m kvetching, some enemies like to hang out just above where you can shoot them with your gun when attacking you, forcing you to do this weird half hop thing to be able to shoot them.  Pretty much every area there is something new like this that you have to commit to memory and go ‘really?...REALLY?’.  

Just this small screenshot has sent strong willed men to their graves

The game also wanted to throw in crafting, in that you can make your own gun parts, and you can mix and match.  While this sounds great, it sucks pretty bad.  First off, you have to use whatever drops off of enemies to craft a gun.  What drops copper, you ask?  Who the hell knows.  So you google ‘Mercenary Kings Copper Farming’, listen to some “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” and go back 30 missions to kill the same boss eight times so you can make a better gun.  So, see above on the time sink front.  It would be lovely if you could buy stuff you don’t have at an enormous premium - I am not doing anything with the cash from all the missions I beat.  So what gun do you want to build?  Well, you have about 100 options on 5 different parts, so I hope you like the sound of scrolling!  I”m not a game designer, so I can’t tell you how to organize the parts, but this game didn’t do it right.  Hell, even Borderlands did it better somehow.  Yeah, I said it.  Now to give the devil his due, the guns are really fun.  The different ammo types are fun to play with (but armor piercing is overpowered, as it pierces the environment meaning you can cheese a toooooon of enemies.)  There are quite a fun guns that have a nice look to them, and having a machine gun that fires heat seeking missiles is always nice.

Some other complains that I didn’t want to put anywhere else...duck is mapped to down on the d-pad.  Makes sense.  Pick up is also mapped to down.  If you pick something up, not only do you stop shooting, you also stay standing.  Any boss with adds means that the floor is now littered in crap that you either have to pick up, or run away from when time comes to duck.  Just map ‘pick up’ to something else.  Something not combat essential.  BAM.  Problem solved.

At the end of the day though, I only have 2 bosses and 1 set of missions left to go through before I’m done with the game.  The pixel art is amazing - most of the dog robots are genuinely ‘aww’ inspiring, and the characters really harken to Scott PIlgrim.  It has a lot of character, and a lot of charm, but lacks the fundamentals to support them.  

d'aww I can't stay that mad at you

Since I wrote all this, I actually did manage to beat the game.  The last few missions give a real sense of ‘looking back’ that was really well done.  You fight 8 of the first boss of the game in one mission, and I think 8 of a boss from the mission sets prior.  It was a great tone setting for the very end of the game.  They even let you do something super special that I wont spoil, but suffice to say it felt really good.  The last boss himself was pretty cool (in that he didn’t have a level to mosey through, just a walk up to his room).  Overall, I’m glad to put it past me.  I would have to know the gamer very well in order for me to recommend this game.  It takes a lot of patience and acceptance to make it through, but there are some damn fun times to be had inbetween.

Depending on who you ask, 2014 was either a wonderful year or a terrible year for gaming.  My opinion?  It was awesome.  I created the list below, along with a few notes, of every game I completed during the year.  There are some that I started up that just never got around to finishing.

As far as my favorites for the year, I think my ‘finished GOTY’ goes to Metal Gear Revengeance.  It was an absolute blast, even for someone who isn’t great at the genre.  Hyrule Warriors was probably my favorite game for passing time while watching something in the computer.  Passing time on the computer?  That is probably Tower of Guns, clocking in at 21 hours of gameplay! And, of course, DOTA is still just as addicting as ever. Without further ado:


Saints Row 2 - this game needed heavy modding love to get playable.  I forget if controllers just weren’t supported in general, or if the button prompts didn’t show up, but the game needs some TLC.  That being said, once it is running, it is my favorite of the series.  My original character was a Walter White style bad guy - an older crime lord, for more civilized crime.  With a beer belly and comb over, his agression wasn't so much an act of agression as getting too old for this shit.

Saints Row 3 - Compared to 2 and 4, this is where the series kind of changed.  It was halfway between super powered and normal, serious and extreme.  It was a fun game, but not great.

Saints Row 4 - Basically a good Crackdown.  Is it Saints Row?  No.  Is it fun?  Hell yeah.  Wish this was its own IP more than a weird, Saints based virtual world, but ah well.

Gone Home - Eh.  Indie, but harmless.  Fun?  Not really.  Enjoyable?  Maybe.  It was a game.

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance - This game defines what boss music should be. Also, the Metal Gear universe is always fun to play in, and the action genre goes well with Raiden.  I had lots of fun with it, and would like to come back.

Evoland - so full of itself its amazing it didn’t pop halfway through.  It wasn’t so much a game as it was a homage to different RPG elements over the years, but highly condensed.  I wouldn’t waste your time playing it.

Deadpool - a few laugh out loud moments.  A semi decent combat system to facilitate.  Was worth the steam sale price

Octodad - halfway between fun and infuriating.  The concept oozes charm, but it often asked too much of the player..at least before it was patched.  Fighting with controls can be fun, but qwop  never hid something after the hurdle.

The Stanley Parable - I remember being really, really unimpressed with this one.  Humor meets a walking simulator, but something about it just really rubbed me the wrong way. Ill just mod in farts to Dear Esther, see how that goes

Dark Souls II - Not as enjoyable as the first for me, but still damn fine entertainment.

Goat Simulator - its like Tony Hawk, but instead of riding a skateboard, you are a goat.  Humor, wonky physics, random achievements...I got way more out of this than I would have figured, and they keep adding content to it.

Far Cry 3 - Finally beat this one, after starting it four times.  Fantastic game.  

Thomas Was Along - Hate this game.  A good puzzle game makes you figure out the solution, and then BAM, you are done.  Thomas Was Alone makes you do the same solution ten times in a row, just wasting your time.  The story may be good, but I can’t get over how awful the gameplay is

Splinter Cell Blacklist - America!  Fuck yeah!  I didn’t know there was a stealthy walk for a while, and that made the game really hard.  It was fine overall, if a little over patriotic.  It pretty much says that the ends justify the means (torture) and thats a little bit much.

Sniper Elite V3 - I have a fantastic love of this series for almost no reason.  This is much better than 2.  Whereas SEV2 had enemies spawn in, making stealth completely impossible, 3 has a much more open approach.  It feels more snipery and strategic.  Plus the end rips off Metal Gear Solid pretty damn hard, which I guess is a plus.

Mass Effect - Punishing, but had so many good ideas.  I decided to make the trilogy playthrough as a renegade - last time I was full paragon.  I modeled my character after Duke Nukem.  I do miss my paragon fish eyed pedophile looking shepard though.  The moral of the story:  sometimes character creation isn't great.

Mass Effect 2 - Refined some ideas from 1, simplified many others.

Mass Effect 3 - whatever was left to be simplified was, whatever was left to be refined also was.  The series as a whole is really fantastic, and it makes me sad that people are too blinded by the ending of 3 to appreciate just how damn good it was.  The multiplayer was still populated when I played, and was just as fun as I remember it (really fun, if you were wondering).  It has some issues on PC for all 3, but is overall damn fine.

Space Marine - best game ever.  No, really.

Hard Reset - A true to form, oldschool FPS.  Has some cool ideas, shiny graphics, but is overall kind of shorter than you would like.

Walking Dead Season 2 - not as good as the first one, at all.  Has interesting moments, but nothing as potent.  Still worth a steam sale.

Diablo 3 - This is where we get into the games that are crazy addicting.  I probably put 100 hours into this game, if not more.  I only ran solo, and after loot 2.0, but this kind of stuff is my jam.  

Mario Kart 8 - this is the third most I have played Mario Kart (behind the SNES version, behind the N64 version), and it has basically validated the Wii U in my house. I played it over Thanksgiving break, and beat all the cups, and all the ghosts.  Online became trivial after that.  Super fun.

Tower of Guns - speaking of which, buy this game.  It is fan-fugu tastic.  Its a rogue like FPS, that starts off painful and punishing, but ends up being really rewarding.  It has so many secrets, from hidden walls, to being able to escape the boundry of the level and scale the actual tower for an insane amount of powerups.  It uses Quake like gameplay, in that you shoot, jump, and well...thats about it.  If you shoot fast enough, you can even use that to fly!  Probably my favorite indie game of the year.  It is indie, right?  

South Park:Stick of Truth - just like the show!  Pretty good, if not shorter than you would like.

Hyrule Warriors - Never got into Dynasty Warriors for whatever reason, but this got me fairly hooked.  After I unlocked all characters and most weapons (about 60, 70 hours) I was finally bored of the game, but still had plenty to go.  A great ‘holding pattern’ game.  Watch some TV, play some of this, bada bing, bada boom, day is over.

Guacamellee - Yeah, its good, but not great.  I enjoyed it, but something about it just sort of rubbed me the wrong way.

Castlevania Aria of Sorrow - Hooray for the Wii U and off screen play!  I brought home the Wii U for the holidays, but forgot that I already played the pants off of most bite sized games.  I downloaded this one on a whim, and it wound up taking up just the right amount of time.  The game screams of SNES version of Dark Souls in the best way.  A good way to wrap things up for the year!

Shovel Knight - see above for why.  As for how much I enjoyed it, eh, its alright.  It feels really, really simple.  Easy enough for the Game Grumps to beat it.  BAM.  In all seriousness, it reminds me of Kirby’s Epic Yarn - you have to search out the challenges yourself.  I could see it being very fun in speedrunning/no damage community, but beyond that, its just alright.

Binding of Isaac: Rebirth - depending on how you quantify ‘beat’ I beat this one.  Better than the original, and just a fun roguelike.

DotA 2 -the last boss is realllly hard guys.  Recent patches got me more involved, but still kind of on and off relationship.  I still am not ranked, but I think I am in a good place - my teammates communicate, don't build obscure items, and sometimes they dont auto attack creepwaves!  Ive really been enjoying the last few sessions, and hope to have many more!


So overall, about 30 games this year, with a few heavy hitters.  What about you guys?  What did you wrap up, and what were your favorites?


Photo Photo Photo

As many of you may know, Streamtoid is back, alive and well!!  As mentioned each week, I am streaming Mondays at 6-8 central time, and would love to have people join me.  The past two streams have been starting, and getting close to finishing Spoice Mahrine, so I am going to need a new game to play, probably starting on Monday.  Instead of being a Dick Tater, I thought I could resurrect a structure from a much more mustached man than myself, and put up a community vote for which game you would want to view next on my channel!  The games I have nominated are:

Binary Domain

There are two things that you need to know about Binary Domain:  its features a black guy named Big Bo, and a french robot.  In all seriousness, the game has a pretty cool story, touching on the regulations of advanced robotics.  The plot focuses on Hollow Children - robots who are built and designed to sell that they are indistinguishable from humans, even believing that they themselves are human.  Naturally this is all presented by way of a Japanese 3rd person shooter (it's a shame Vanquish isn’t on PC).

Bionic Commando:  Rearmed

I talked a bit in a previous blog about how I really liked this game.  It is a remodel of the NES game, with some adjustments for difficulty if you so choose.  The fascinating thing to me is that if it were released today with the NES game missing, the mechanics would be very fresh and interesting.  No jumping - only hooking.  A semi-open world.  And you can kill Hitler with a rocket launcher (spoilers).  The game is crazy short, so this would probably be a one and done kind of event.

The Bureau : XCOM Declassified

I purchased this one from a Steam sale using the Macklemore principle (shit it was 99 cents).  From what I hear, the game is utterly craptastic.  I haven’t played a single minute of it, so it would be a new experience for me!  This probably gets the title of 'most likely to play while drinking heavily'.

Spec Ops:  The Line

What more can be said about this game that hasn’t already been said.  The game is a sadness/PTSD simulator.  Passable gameplay and passive aggressive tip screens.  But I would nominate this for the best use of Deep Purple in a videogame since Elite Beat Agents, so it has that going for it!  This was also one of the first games I had played on my new PC, so it has some sentimental value!

Mystery Game

If none of the above appeals to you, you can always vote for the mystery game!  It could be anything!  But in this case, it isn't.  This is actually a prequel and a remaster!  Despite getting close to about ten years old from original release, the gameplay holds up pretty well, and the story and music are pretty darn amazing as well.  This is a game that I would love to see bumped up to the top of the list someday, but for now, it can be the mystery game!

So with all those listed out, which one gets your vote?
Photo Photo Photo

Space Marine is a masterpiece.  There, I said it.  I even kind of mean it.  I played it recently and remembered just how much I loved the game, and how sad it makes me to know that THQ isn’t getting a second shot at the IP.  Hell, if anyone understood why the game was so fun, I wouldn’t mind a sequel from almost any studio...although if it were Telltale, I probably wouldn’t go for it.  So what makes it so great?

First off, there is the combat.  The first enemies you encounter in the game literally explode into a plume of blood and viscera when you shoot them, and it only gets better from there.  You get a basic pistol, then a machine gun, then a ‘sniper rifle’ - which causes blood splatters a few feet across when you blow up an enemy's face with it.  Then there are your melee weapons: a knife, a chainsaw/sword combination, an electric axe, and a hammer so large you can’t do anything except swing it, and you will never want to use another weapon in a game again.  The melee weapons get a lot of use, as ammo is moderately scarce, and each has its own set of combos that can be used.  

The best part though comes from the way that your health works:  you have a shield which recharges and a stagnant health bar.  The only way to gain more health is to pick up health packs.  SIKE.  No, you can only recover health by stunning enemies with your melee attack and disemboweling them.  One move with the chainsaw sword is to ram it into the ork’s belly until there is a fountain of blood coming out of its mouth, then stomping the pulpy remains into a red cloud.  And this heals you, and it is the only way to do so.  It changes the entire pace of combat for the style of game that it is.  Usually when you play as a meaty, musclebound, space marine, you are hiding behind cover to take pot shots at enemies, sucking on your thumb when you eat a bullet until you can safely break cover again.  In this game, a horde of 100 orcs charges you behind cover, and you breathe a sigh of relief as you can finally recover your health.  

That number of 100 isn’t exaggerated either  (or at least by much)- they send massive numbers of enemies your way.  Probably more than I have seen in a non zombie game.  You start by clearing the ones with guns with your sniper.  Then you thin the ranks with grenades and a machine gun.  Soon, they are right on top of you, and you begin to eviscerate them with your melee weapon.  You have a tool for every range of enemy, and each one is just as effective.  

Every once in a while, the game does give you a change in scenery.  For one section, you get a jetpack - which should get your ears perked up right away - that you can use to leap up into the air, only to come crashing down on your enemies with your armored fist, annihilating anything nearby.  There are also sections with hammers, turrets, and a few other goodies.  I noticed after one particularly panicked section that the game gave you a solid couple of minutes with no enemies at all...letting your murderous rage subside for a moment, so they could briefly throw some plot your way. Pretty much, the pacing of the game feels pretty great throughout.

There are a few other small details that I wrote down that I didn’t find a good place to fit in anywhere else, so random section ahead:  After blowing up and/or dismembering one of the hundreds of enemies, your armor will have patches of blood that fade out over time. When your gun starts to get to the last few bullets, it gives a noticeable audio cue of the last bullets clicking.  Running just feels like it has a weight to it.  The most important ‘minor’ detail though, is that it feels close to the source material.  The 40k universe has a ton of lore, and they drop a boatload of references to it.  More than just throwing out some lines to appease fans though, you see the different factions from the universe represented, and you can almost feel their point values.  You have the Imperial Guard - weak humans, easily overwhelmed by the same number of orcs.  You have goblins arriving in hordes that even the smallest bullet can dispatch.  Then you have the mighty Space Marine - a squad of 3 elite soldiers capable of rumbling with the best of them...until the Orc heroes start to show up.  Its hard to put into solid words, but it just ‘feels’ right to the source.

On the thematic note of being a Space Marine, the game always makes you feel like it.  It is ridiculously empowering.  I have heard it compared to God of War more than a shooter, and while the combat is more simplistic, it isn’t completely off.  There is no cover, and the combat isn’t quick and messy.  The combat is often up close and personal.  It is more Doom than Call of Duty, but more of a Melee than a shooter.  Even still, comparing it to a game like Serious Sam - hordes inspire a smile more than they inspire panic.  As the enemies toughen, your arsenal, too, gets bigger, and better.  You can see the progress in you as a player, as well as the tools in your kit.

If that description hasn’t sold you on the game...maybe you would want to check it out on Monday’s Streamtoid - starring me!  The only downside of the game is that it is relatively short, so I am probably going to play it for another 2 weeks before completing it!  I decided to play it as something fun for the show, and remembered just how awesome the game really was. Oh, and you can literally pick it up for 10 dollars.  Do it.
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9:19 PM on 07.21.2014

Hey there, champ, hows it going?  Are you enjoying that fresh Wii U?  Have it all loaded up with games and their save files, got your free promotional game from Club Nintendo annual rewards and from the Mario Kart promotion?  You aren't, you say?  Because you purchased the basic Wii U mode?


Its alright - we all make mistakes.  But I’m here to tell you that it is more than possible to fix those mistakes, without paying out the nose for it!

...Love you Sony!

It is a well known fact that Nintendo has no idea what it is doing with technology beyond making games, and this applies to how they decided to do storage for the Wii U.  Remember how the Wii has an SD slot?  Same as your 3ds?  Ok, so see that SD slot on the front of your Wii U?  Worthless.  You can use it for Wii stuff...not Wii U.  Yeah.  No, you have to get an external hard drive in order to store extra data on your Wii U.  And not just any external hard drive, you need a powered hard drive.

Not a problem!  Thats totally a product that exists.  So you check out Best Buy to find out that they only exist in denominations of Terabytes, also known as literally 100 times more than you will ever need, at a low low cost of at least 100 dollars.  So you check out Target to see if they have a better deal, realize they have 3 hard drives, and drive back to Best Buy and really, really, make sure that they don’t have anything smaller.  Nope.  1TB or bust.  Now if you have a computer, you could use that drive to back up files on it, so maybe it isn't that bad!  Except you have to format it for the Wii U to use it, so you can either use it for your computer or for your Wii U, and if your Steam library is anything like mine, that choice is made.

Every "x" is a game defeated

Instead, you can solve the problem much cheaper, with greater versatility.  You just need an HDD Docking station and a SATA HDD (hard disc drive...not High Definition squared).  Obviously, those two links are suggestions, but for the love of all things techy, do not gloss over what kind of dock you buy and what kind of hard drive you buy.  Notice how I said SATA above?  Yeah, first time around, I bought one that used a Molex connection, or something equally as stupid.  This is pretty easy, because you just have to make sure both say SATA somewhere.  Waiting on a good deal, getting a refurb, you should be able to get at least 160 GB of storage for about 40 dollars, give or take shipping and handling.  Plus, you can now dick around with your new docking bay!  Yay!

From here, the battle is almost won!  You just have to plug in the drive to the bay, and the bay to the console, then format it.  So on the front of the Wii U, there is a handy dandy access port flap.  Behind that flap are two USB plugs and an SD card slot, so it seems pretty logical to plug in your data next to the data slot, yeah?  Nah, you can’t use those USB ports.  Won’t recognize it, because Nintendo.  Instead, plug that sucker in the backside.  Then, fire up the Wii U, and go to the settings.  Under data management is an option to move data or format a drive.  Format the drive, and you are good to go!  Finally you can enjoy your Wii U!

Or, if you were around in the days of the Basic Model, you could have just need been a cheap ass and gotten more memory that way.  But where’s the fun in that?