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My names Matt, better known as SwiftKarateChop from youtube. Iím just your everyday guy. Iím from Alabama, just recently moved to California, so I rock the custom accent. Iíve been gaming since I was about 3 and still going strong. I love all types of games, from fps, rts, to mmorpg. Iím a PC junkie.

I am extremely easy to get along with and I love making people laugh.
Following (19)  

1:30 AM on 05.24.2008

So I got to wondering about the Cincinnati Narp.

there is going to be ALOT of MAN JUNK walking around isn't there.
How many females from d-toid are coming/going to NARP?!?!?!

just leave a comment, because honestly i don;t know if i brought enough hotdog buns for the sausage fest

for some reason idk i know this is gay as hell, but those hot dogs look so motherfucking tasty 0.o

i mean is it just me or would you still eat one of those, even though i compared them to penis =/

So yea I am retarded and I could read the forums, but yea that takes like extra clicks and stuff =(

how come Age of Conan PvP is so DAMN hard, its like LETS FIGHT and then i DIE DIE DIE.
PvE is awesome, but PvP just takes a huge R.Kelly dump on my chest :(

7:43 PM on 05.21.2008

Age of Conan, so much BETTER than i expected it to be. I actually played nearly 10 hours straight yesterday 0.o is that sad?


Age of Conan has made me realize how much of a nerd I really am, I spent 90$ on the collector's edition and actually found myself looking at the sketch book that came with it!

-awesomely awesomeness with more awesome cumming on awesome!
-pvp is actually FUN, it's foreign at first but you catch on quick!
-combat is smooth, ALSO foreign at first, but hey I LOVE FOREIGN CHICKS!
-you actually feel like completing the quest!
-graphics are nice as hell, and the game is pretty smooth at the moment.
-FATALITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEHEADINGS!!!!!!!!! BONERS!!!!!!!!!
-THE CHICKS CAN WALK AROUND TOPLESS!!! I mean the graphics are smooth yea. 0.o

-it is foreign as hell lol 0.o
-no tips on the ingame slash commands (i had to google the shit)
-ok so the game is divided into regions(with loading screens)
-actually not that bad though since you i've spent 10 hours in one place anyways
-the battles are more so AOE fights, very very rarely a 1v1
-but you have wide swings and such so you can damage opponents all around you

OVERALL I LOVE THE DAMN GAME! I feel like I could actually stand to play all the classes and races atleast once! Its AMAZING PLAY IT!

Name = Gladeon
Server = Cimmerian

3:37 PM on 05.19.2008


for me atleast, I purchased the 3 days early access, which actually sold out after 2 days of being available!

The game is crazy, the combat system is smoothhhhhhh and not as foreign a si feared it would be. The graphics make my penis fold up and turn into a pretzel, but a nice tasty pretzel. Even running the game in medium graphics with dx9 its stunning. I am waiting until the game actually ships before i up the graphics.


A 14 GIG DOWNLOAD! lol yea took me a day at like 400 kb/sec(which is good on a peer 2 peer network lol)


12:41 AM on 05.14.2008

So lately I find myself becoming very very A.D.D when it comes to games. I can not really find a game that really holds my interest for long. I only played WoW for like 2 months before i was completely burned out on it. I recently bought an xbox 360 and I played it HARDCORE for like 1 week and now I haven't even left the dashboard for like 3 days.

I remember when I was little I would play the same game for months, and now I lose interest in a game after like a week or 2....sometimes less. I am constantly playing different games, CONSTANTLY, i have roughly 10 games on my computer that I play all at the same time throughout the week and then I have console games I play too.

ONE GAME IS NOT ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I seriously miss the days when I could pop in Legend of Legia for PS1 and play for hours, back when I actually cared enough about the storyline of a game to buy the strategy guide. Final Fantasy 7 took me months to beat but I played that damned game a little bit EVERYDAY!

Am I a ADD gamer or have games become..."less storyline" and only graphic driven.

5:40 PM on 05.12.2008

So today I find myself wondering "Matt what is the origin of the word NOOB"
and since I talk to myself i was like "dude i really don't know BUT i bet somebody in dtoid land does".

So i hopped on my level 75 epic fiery mount and galloped onto dtoid.

Does anybody know what the word "noob" is derived from?
It is a word I enjoy using SO SO MUCH, but its like when a five year old says testicle and then laughs because he doesn't know what it means.
*why say newbie, i understand the new part but bie!?!?! what does BIE EVEN MEAN?!?!?*

1:31 AM on 05.12.2008

So this is my first blog. My names Matt and I think i'm semi retarded. I remember that cold night, my brain was jumping all over the place, and all I coudl think was "Hey Matt, let's be smart(because apparently I have a split personality)!"

So being a semi retard with a split personality, I rented GTA 4. I know your reading the title and going "OMFG MATT WHY NOT RENT IT IS AMAZING".

YOUR FUCKING RIGHT I KNOW DAMNIT!!! im stupid because I rented it and didn't buy it LOL.

and now I sit here alone, watching all my xbox live friends play gta4 and send me invites.

it's a sad day in swiftkaratechop history. :(