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Video game boys in my wet dreams
superflossy | 4:51 PM on 03.23.2008 93 comments


This is my first post, so let's just cut any pretense and start with a subject that's personal and incredibly shallow: HOT BOYS

Since I finished playing Devil May Cry 4, I've been having dreams about Dante: me and Dante killing snake monsters together, me and Dante going to the shooting range together, me and Dante... uh.... yeah. It just made think about the other hot guys in my recent gaming that I've been obsessed with.



1) Leon from Resident Evil 4
Leon's not so much an incredible badass like Dante. But he makes up for it in sheer coolness. He looks like a late 70s David Bowie, my favorite DB era. Subterraneans era. That and he's a totally sweet guy, looking after that annoying little Ashley. I really just like him in RE4, didn't dig his police outfit from the earlier one.

2) Dante
What a badass. Love badasses. And the hair. Almost beats out James Spader from Pretty in Pink for best hair evar. And who else could kill a bunch of people while eating a pizza? Plus, he's half demon. Just think of the amazing things he could do in bed. Freaky!!!

3) Travis from No More Heroes
So who cares if he lives in a hotel, collects manga figures and humps his lucha libre pillow? That actually turns me on. But really, Travis is the perfect boy for me. He loves kitties, shops on eBay, has an amazing t-shirt collection that I would totally steal from, and he's got a killer smirk. I'll take a smartass over a badass anyday.



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91 comments | showing # 1 to 50

prev next 50 comments

Hollie Bennett's Destructoid Blog
um siefer from ff8? I ask you, where is the love????!!!!
Passionate Styos's Destructoid Blog
Totally Snake.

...I'm not gay.
Aertyr's Destructoid Blog
O_O
MrSadistic's Destructoid Blog
Welcome to Destructoid, I love uh.... wtf is wrong with you people?
Passionate Styos's Destructoid Blog
Oh, and welcome, didn't realize that this is your first post so don't suck! Have a good time.

(I still say that Snake is manly...not gay!)
superflossy's Destructoid Blog
snake is a bit too gruff for my tastes. and seifer looks like a neo-nazi...
Hollie Bennett's Destructoid Blog
yeah but that scar is bad ass, and that bit in the opening intro where he does that 'get over here' thing with that smirk, Z.O.M.G

haha, also welcome!
tazarthayoot's Destructoid Blog
I think I ilke you.
youkilledmyguy's Destructoid Blog
When will women realize that girly looking pretty boys will never provide the primal satisfaction that a beastly testosterone driven fuck machine of a man can?
Dyson's Destructoid Blog
You're picture next to the big daddy makes me laugh, good work!
The GHost's Destructoid Blog
@youkilledmyguy

There's a place where they do. I believe it's called Utopia ;)

After poking around your link on the sidebar I feel confident in bestowing you with



Welcome!
Nessie's Destructoid Blog
Welcome <333
superflossy's Destructoid Blog
sorry, realized some time ago that a lot of beastly testosterone fuck machine types usually have small penises so they needed to appease their egos and overcompensate with their aggro-testosterone-ness.
Tug Your God Out's Destructoid Blog
I'm usually confident in my sexuality but sometimes....friggin Dante....

Such a badass you're right
Azereki's Destructoid Blog
You were at GDC!? Win!! You should have come to the awesome Dtoid NARP at Dyson's humble abode. Also, I can't believe you left out Link. He is sooo dreamy. *siiigh*
youkilledmyguy's Destructoid Blog
@superflossy

You cannot be a fuck machine and have a small penis.
Das Inchworm's Destructoid Blog
travis touchdown probably has a square schlong.



also, welcome.
Koobert's Destructoid Blog
Superflossy... I dunno, I kind of like my men so incredibly jam-packed with masculinity that their beards and cop hats are... uh... I've said too much...

Never been into the Dante types, though. My type of men: the entire cast of Final Fight. Except for Guy and the transvestite.
Koobert's Destructoid Blog
I was totally next to that Big Daddy statue at PAX, too.
The GHost's Destructoid Blog
Oh, I almost forgot. If you want to have your eyes raped, check out the moob thread on the forum.

Some things cannot be unseen.

And with a recommendation like that, how can you not? :D

P.S. Note the epic shoop job by Banj on the first page.
deiga-the-semivaliant's Destructoid Blog
Like pretty boys, eh?

Snake is a man's man. If I were gay, he'd totally be my type.
EternalDeathSlayer's Destructoid Blog
WTF? Personally, if I were a gay man, I'd go for Drake, from Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. He's a real charmer. Just saying.....

Either way though, this is fucking strange.

Welcome to Dtoid.
Velt's Destructoid Blog
What about Gordon Freeman?!?!?!

I mean, he is the silent guy, smart (theoretical physics and stuff PhD), silent but deadly he is the leader of the human resistance in the struggle for the survival of the human race. Every chick should dig him... Iam a straight guy and I like him.

He kills both aliens and humans with EVERYTHING, from a crowbar to a gravity gun... he would be like Chuck Norris if he could kill using his glasses.

Really, I mean, come on: get your priorities right.
youkilledmyguy's Destructoid Blog
Also, nice how a female starts cblogging and her first post is sex related. Didn't see that coming.
Koobert's Destructoid Blog
I'm always surprised to find out that women can be perverts too. Somehow I always imagine sex to be a hassle to them, like taking down recycling or doing laundry.
Geoff's Destructoid Blog
BECAUSE WOMEN CAN'T TALK ABOUT SEX BECAUSE THEY ARE WOMENNNN

dude youkilledmyguy you are generic piece of shit and i can sense the extra chromosome in you, kill yourself
superflossy's Destructoid Blog
@youkilledmyguy

whoa dude you need to get laid or something. people who are overly bitter like you are totally laym.
Y0j1mb0's Destructoid Blog
Welcome aboard.

Read your reviews. Liked that you liked Zach & Wiki.
Surf314's Destructoid Blog
Welcome and don't click on the ghosts link, my shiny whiteness will kill your eyes.
youkilledmyguy's Destructoid Blog
@Geoff
...

@superflossy

If I wanted to get laid I'd go have sex. However I've never "needed" to get laid, I've never had a compulsive need to stick my cock in something. I'm not overly bitter, I'm bitter just enough to be annoyed when a female comes along to a video game based website and her introduction to the community involves her talking about her wet dreams, knowing full well that it's simply a tactic to get lonely internet men to read their blog (see Geoff). It annoys me because I'd be you'd be one of the first people to demand that you be treated just like "any other gamer" and your sex not be made an issue, while you'll use your sex to gain the favor and attention of people. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You're either a shriveled spinster who is so sexually isolated that you have wet dreams about characters in video games or your just another attention whore (which we have all seen too many of here) capitalizing on the fact that you might have a cunt.
Sadie G's Destructoid Blog
Any of the Big Daddies from Bioshock.
yep.
Angel Thanatos's Destructoid Blog
Heather from Silent Hill 3.
Sadie G's Destructoid Blog
Also, your bright pink is blindingly annoying...
superflossy's Destructoid Blog
i'm sure you'd feel differently if i were a guy talking about hot chicks. thanks for being a total killjoy douche, youkilledmyguy. and seriously, if you were smart you would have just ignored my post...
youkilledmyguy's Destructoid Blog
@superflossy

If you were a guy talking about how hot cartoons are I'd make fun of you. You are right, although you should extend it. If everyone were smart they would have ignored it.
Sadie G's Destructoid Blog
purple is annoying too.
Stop using highlighter colors.
ScottyG's Destructoid Blog
Welcome! :)

...

sorry, realized some time ago that a lot of beastly testosterone fuck machine types usually have small penises so they needed to appease their egos and overcompensate with their aggro-testosterone-ness.

And yet you like Dante? :p

Also, how can you mention those guys and not give a nod to Frank West:


Seriously... hot. ^_^
MrSadistic's Destructoid Blog
Don't listen to Sadie. She's the resident bitch around these parts.
Koobert's Destructoid Blog
You're fine, superflossy. Be who you are, talk about all the hot cartoon characters you want... just another facet of the beautiful cultural diaspora here. Nice to meet you.

Sadie G, Big Daddy, really? Huh...
Sadie G's Destructoid Blog
youkilledmyguy - seriously, stop being a dick. At least her post is sort of gaming related unlike half the stupid bitches on this site.
sleepingagain's Destructoid Blog
lol, welcome and be careful about what you post
Teta's Destructoid Blog
No "Why penis why" makes this list bad:

youkilledmyguy's Destructoid Blog
@Sadie

Alright. You're right about the stupid bitches thing.
J4RMZ's Destructoid Blog
Watch in awe the D*toid C-blogs slow and painful metamorphosis into...4chan.

also, /b/.
xper's Destructoid Blog
best first post ever

also, i am a hot boy
power-glove's Destructoid Blog
The E-Drama level seems to be high tonight, please return to your respective corners. It's Easter, let's celebrate.

Surf314's Destructoid Blog
Don't mess with Sadie, she will shoot you in the face. Also the big daddy thing scares me.
Vlambo's Destructoid Blog
PRAISE RAPTOR JESUS! HE WENT EXTINCT FOR YOUR SINS
MrSadistic's Destructoid Blog
Raptor Jesus has a pimp MySpace.
Hollie Bennett's Destructoid Blog
god i joined this on post 7, wtf happened guys?!


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