Since moving to New York four years ago after college, I've always had a love-hate relationship with the city. I've griped about things ranging from the overpriced bars to the hipster quotient to the lack of an Arby's. I've thought about moving to San Francisco, Hong Kong, London, you name it. My allegiance to NYC only surfaced when I was out of town, calling myself a New Yorker out of pure smugness or hankering for a decent slice of pie. Yeah, I'm a hypocrite douche bag, I know. But all of this changed last night as I played GTA 4 for the first time. I apologize for everything I ever said against you, New York. Fuck me for ever hating you, I love you and I live in the most awesome city in the entire world.

When I took out the map, saw the subway lines, and found my neighborhood, I had this incredible swell of geekiness that made me yell "I live in Liberty City!" one too many times and kick my feet in the air like a little girl. Once I started driving around doing missions and eventually just exploring the city, every little detail would make me giddy. From the Citigroup building in Long Island City to the replica screens on the Metrocard vending machines, seeing these things in my daily life inside a videogame just made me so happy.

But then, everything became really psychotically awesome as I did things in the game that I've daydreamed of doing in real life. Subway taking too long? Oh, I'll just hijack a cab and drive it up to the train tracks! Hot dog guy sold me a dog with a soggy bun? Hey, I'll just knife him in the throat and then get my money back, wheeee!

GTA 4, for me as a New Yorker, is transcendent. It's affected me beyond merely the videogame plane and made me wholeheartedly appreciate my city in all of its grimy metaphorical glory. I'd like to thank everyone at Rockstar for helping me realize the awesomeness that surrounds me every single day.