This shit happens all the time on Destructoid apparently. Every week there's a new community trend flying
around, and I'm cool with that. But I always feel obliged to participate.

So fuck you all. Being lazy is an art, an art you all smashed to bits with varyingly sized hammers.


I'm going to beat you now.


Interesting fact #10
Orion's belt is plastered on my face in 3 big freckle/moles. Is it cancer? Probably. A heavenly sign of my
status as a deity? You decide.


Curious tidbit #9
I'm hoping for cancer.


Tabloid "news" #8
If it has a level creator, I will play it. And if possible, buy it. I've been making levels in games since games
gave me the chance to. I'm no modder (though I hope to someday dabble in some Source modding, while it's
still viable) but on the PS2 alone I made over 100 different levels in THPS 3 and over 70 or so in TimeSplitters
2. Less so in the sequels, but that's because they just weren't as addicted as those titles were.

Of course, LittleBigPlanet is my current fling. But I think we're about to take our relationship to the next level.




(oral)


Ancient scripture #7
I probably have diabetes. Ever since I've had any, I've had an affinity for candy. Of course, all kids go
through a "MOAR CANDY NAO" phase, but it stuck with me more than other people. It could be the half
apathetic way I was raised (single dad with an anger problem, who was depressed during a good chunk of
my childhood. He's still a great guy, just underlying problems that got in the way of things) or it could be that
my destiny is to be diabetic. But with the way I've been eating lately, diabetes is definitely in my future.


bitches ain't knowin'.


Forerunner terminal text #6
Clone High was the best show ever and the number one reason why politically correct activist groups can
go straight to goddamn hell.

That show was me incarnate, so it applies.


Director's Commentary #5
My internet life started out simple. Using email to talk to my relatives and friends, and to look up 20x20 gifs of
womens tits (mmm dial-up. useless from the start). But in 2003 I really dove into the internet. I joined the G4
forums after a friend showed me them and got hooked. Initially I posted as Hitler The Baby Eater and made
witty and clever remarks about black people, womens rights and the correctness of Hitler's stances
(apparently, none were wrong).

I grew there and slowly learned the ways of the internet. That site, while attached to a shitty tv channel,
was an amazing experience and to be honest, I miss it. A lot of memories and good times, but alas, I had to
move on. Now I go to 2 other sites, one for art and one for games, but neither really satisfying me in either
area anymore. While art is somewhat of a lost cause and something I need to quit bugging myself with so
much (I'm very out of it), games are a constant in life. You can't escape them. And if you do, they'll find you.

They'll find you and they'll rape you.

So I came to Destructiod. I'm not as active as I'd like to be someday, but I think I just need to find some cool
folks here to talk to and get some fun going with. But so far, I'm loving it.


Fine print #4
I'm a bit bi-polar. Filled to the brim with anxiety 24/7 and other awesome problems.


picture related.


Author's Note #3
I was a truck loader at UPS back in Winter '07. With full confidence, I can say that we WILL demolish your
packages. Don't send pussy shit (flowers are fucked) and you better put your shit in a good box, with a
looooooot of cushion.

Because your shit's about to get wrecked.

Also, when you put stuff like "THIS IS MY WII" on the box? We take it. So GJ Captain Miraculous, you're a
huge steaming pile of dumbass.


Presidential pardon #2
My arts.

http://superezekiel.deviantart.com/

Let me show you them. To be updated whenever I actually make something.


Thing you don't know about me #1
*


*wat