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This is just my opinion, and if you agree with it, then spread the word or fap this post or whatever. If you disagree with it, then don't do anything.

I think game reviews are often "too well-written" and don't just cut to the chase quickly enough. C'mon reviewers - you're reviewing a game, not writing for the New York Times. I'd rather you use your writing skills to write more interesting gaming features, such as Jim Sterling's awesome "Oil on Water" article, Geof Keighly's Valve features, etc. etc. Most people just look at the score anyway, so why bother? Maybe if the write-ups were shorter and more to the point people would actually read them.

I recently saw this review of Aladdin on YouTube, and I fucking loved it. I think by most standards of writing, it's probably considered "bad." His vocabulary is pretty limited and he doesn't use many clever analogies or anything. He just tells it like it is without any flourish or whatever. It's a game where you jump and throw apples and occasionally fly on a carpet or something. I would love to see more game reviews in this "dumb" style, because they just tell me what I need to know, give their honest opinion on it, and leave it at that. That's really all I want from a review.

Anyway, if you're an aspiring game reviewer and this resonates with you, lemme know and I'll check out your game reviews!



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Actually, I disagree. What I want from game reviews are something beyond what's comparable to a sixth graders summer vacation essay. "I liked modern warfare because dad took us there. We stayed in an online lobby and was very much fun. In the morning, we got up and the scenary was beautiful but we could hear the highway so sound wasn't all that good. Soon my sister and I explored different ways and I discovered a good adventure all my own."

Problem with current reviews is they follow a format that was written 25 years ago. When you look at most reviews of other mediums, there is short punctual items or even long and thoughtful discussion. Video game reviews have NONE of that, unless, of course, it's a review written by a "non-journalist" several months after the fact. Intellectually and functionally, the current review format rewards laziness and it's gotten to the point where I think there's a template or something for em that ships with Office...
I don't know. I have a hard time writing a game review as if it were different from a novel or play. If that makes any sense... In revealing my hand, I aspire to a Wilde level of critique. Where the critique itself has to be somewhat artistic in order to explain art. If a review is too simplistic or reductionist then you only understand that person's general opinion but nothing of the piece itself. Good god damn the New York Times can write a fucking movie review. They suck when writing about games though. I don't know why reviewing a game is different from a movie review..... much less why we should say "It's a game, not something worth writing well about".
@sheppy: That's a great review of Modern Warfare there. It may not take much skill to write, but I don't care it's honest and pure.

@S3rro: I just read your review of Dear Esther...and I think we're very different people :)
lol. Yes, we are.
I read this after writing the Dear Esther review. I burst into laughter when I realized I had just written exactly what you don't want.
I like reading. I don't mind fairly detailed reviews on games and actually wish that more reviews would include more information on the various modes available. I'm often not even aware that some games will have various co-op or splitscreen modes because they aren't well advertised and reviewers rarely bother to mention them. I would also appreciate more detail on the infrastructure when reviewers write about the online portion... are there clan/group options, private games, issues with voicechat/matchmaking, etc.

If anything, I would prefer long reviews, or that a game be broken up into more of it's parts for a more comprehensive review (online and offline components reviewed separately for example).

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