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Favorite games list type thing:

NES
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3. Legend of Zelda II

SNES
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2. Final Fantasy 6
3. Yoshi's Island

N64
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XBOX
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3. Morrowind

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3. Bioshock


Currently playing: Borderlands, Magna Carta II, Fable II, and Bioshock.
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My Client: Sephiroth
stevenxonward | 11:26 AM on 12.31.2009 16 comments


Oftentimes the defense attorney is castigated for defending a person believed by the public to be someone so reprehensible as to be unworthy of representation or defense. It is a common misconception that the defense attorney's job is make sure their clients are found innocent, regardless of culpability, making the attorney's job more a game of manipulation. In reality, what we try to to do is make sure our clients are treated fairly according to the law. Therefore, I believe it is my duty to see to it that Sephiroth gets his fair shake, so to speak.

Again, it's not as funny as I would've liked, but I do hope you enjoy it all the same.



You're the judge. You decide.

Happy new year!



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13 comments | showing # 1 to 13
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Quantum Zombie's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/31/2009 11:56
Quantum Zombie
This is made of pure unleaded win. But the question is, would Sephiroth reject the insanity defense? If he refuses, then the court cannot impose the defense on the defendant. Still though, unless Cloud's entire party is on the jury, I can imagine that everyone in that courtroom would get butchered.

Or maybe the judge is Bahamut, I dunno.
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/31/2009 13:53
Hamza CTZ Aziz
So are you a lawyer?
stevenxonward's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/31/2009 14:56
stevenxonward
@ Hamza: No, I'm just a paralegal - been one for 6 years. I won't start law school for another year or so.

@ Quantum Zombie: My client won't have a choice if a psychiatrist determines that he is unfit to stand trial. And the judge is Bahamut.

@ MkShiranui: I accept this ruling; however, I maintain that my client is unable to afford a psychiatrist qualified to perform a proper evaluation. Should my client be denied indigent status, he will be forced to forgo psychological treatment. However, should my client be found guilty of the aforementioned charges, he would receive regular psychological treatment in a correctional institute, all the while being a danger to himself and other inmates. I pray you reconsider you're ruling and all the state to bear the burden of this expense.
stevenxonward's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/31/2009 14:57
stevenxonward
*reconsider your ruling.
KrazyKraut's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/31/2009 15:09
KrazyKraut
omfg this is awesome^^ palying it right now...so that makes me smile x2 !!!
KrazyKraut's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/31/2009 15:11
KrazyKraut
omfg...i have to say it again...this is awesome!!
Deathofthedead's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/31/2009 15:51
Deathofthedead
I'm pretty sure if you tried to take Sephiroth to trial he'd slaughter all present in the courtroom :D

This is hilarious and awesome.
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/31/2009 15:53
Topher Cantler
This was indeed awesome.
Xzyliac's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/31/2009 16:06
Xzyliac
Awesome.

Next you definitely should do a good guy getting sued by someone they screw over. Like how superheroes are always destroying shit but surely there must be something more interesting than that.
Anonymouse's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/31/2009 16:25
Anonymouse
Ha, these are great! I'd be interested in seeing Bowser's.
FalconReaper's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/01/2010 07:19
FalconReaper
What Anonymouse said
confusionbomb's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/04/2010 17:08
confusionbomb
Somehow, I want to see Ben Matlock prosecuting for the state. Maybe Tyler Hudson up at the Golden Saucer shaking down the Chocobo jockeys, looking for clues.
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