I can't remember my friends names but I still remember the every move in any Street Fighter game, ever. I'm an absurdist existentialist with shades of zen taoism, but call me that and I'll deny it. I own a Wii, a DS and frequently partake of my friends other 360's and PS3's. Games are art. Games are new media that must be understood.
"Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke", Hagbard Celine.
I've had a bunch of thoughts go through my head and, as is often the case, they need to be vented so they can leave me and inhabit some other poor soul.
So here are some ideas for games that must never be made.
Oz: The MMORPG
You've just been convicted of a crime of your choice! Was it rape? Was it murder? Are you actually innocent? Were you just harshly dealt with by a judge? Well you get to choose as you create your Em city character as they enter for the first day of the rest of their life. Never has choosing your characters race ever been so important!
Delve into the life of a prisoner with life. Pick a gang to support and help them thrive in their business. Run the drug supply and feed the hungry prioners their tits. Control the lunchroom and wield influence with extra servings of pudding. Get rid of snitches for the other gangs IT'S ALL UP TO YOU!
With a detailed create-a-shiv component as well as interactive rape simulator Oz: The MMORPG will give you the chance to decide whether Schillinger or Adibizi has the bigger dick.
Super Me Fighter 2.
This is a re-creation of Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo but digitzed and I cosplay all of the characters.
Self Harmer DS
Finally a companion piece to Trauma Centre. Nobody knows the pain you are going through so it's time to take your stylus and show them! Featuring a wide variety of implements and areas to cut you must make sure to cut your way to all the attention you could ever need without going deep enough to wind up a newspaper obituary like that Paperboy kid.