If my hero Jack Thompson has taught me anything, and repeated readings of his masterpiece garbed only in sanctified gamer blood has taught me all kinds of things, it's that it's okay to engage in certain acts as a means to an end.

See, when you need to get something done, something noble, something heroic, it is okay to make some sacrifices. Sort of like Jesus, but instead of sacrificing himself and denying the world a vital leader in the fight against these "video-games", Jack sacrifices other things. Like his dignity and reputation after mailing a sitting Judge some homosexual porn. Did any of you thank Jack for that sacrifice, hmm? Let he who is without a public record of unsolicited homo-erotic mail outs to high ranked legal officials cast the first stone on that one. Oh, there will be no stones thrown today as we can all see the male on male mail within our own hearts. This is what Jack has taught us

I was reading his prophecy, aloud, just last night, upside down in an EB I'd broken into, in the hopes that his incantations would summon a great magnetic field, or Thompson Shroud, to delete the evil when I realized what must be done.

I must single handedly save the world from the evil of video games, but it will take sacrifice.

The first enemy I must defeat are these things called "facts". I have never heard of them before but my only encounter with them has assured me that they are demonic spawns from the inky depths that had previously known no description. These horrors allow games to be made and sold on the basis that there is no "factual" (there's the devil! Right there! See it?!) causal relationship between exposure to interactive violent media and increased violence.

But the killers OWNED GAMES. There! Ha ha! Your own devil facts turned on you as the great deciever is want to do, some might say that this is an unrelated correlation that gives no-one a possible reason to draw a causal conclusion, like my assertion that me putting my pants on in the morning makes the sun rise. Well, it has every day so far and I shudder to think of the nightmare world we would be plunged into were I to forego pants and halt the very sun itself. If I do something and something else happens, no matter how many confounding variables, it is a direct link. TAKE THAT FACTS!

But that is not enough. The septic ooze has already polluted the humours of the younglings, now not even a level 15 Thompson Shroud is enough. They are dead already, living only to spread the disease. Thompson has spoken to me, through the medium of TV static, and I know what I must do.

The little children must die, all for their own good. And when I am done, all will know it was as a DIRECT RESULT of the writings and oratory of Jack Thompson and not anything to do with any other "problems" my case worker says I have. Her kids are first.

For God and Thompson.