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Community Discussion: Blog by soul3150 | Just because I could run screaming into the street waving my genitals about doesn't mean I will.Destructoid
Just because I could run screaming into the street waving my genitals about doesn't mean I will. - Destructoid

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I can't remember my friends names but I still remember the every move in any Street Fighter game, ever. I'm an absurdist existentialist with shades of zen taoism, but call me that and I'll deny it. I own a Wii, a DS and frequently partake of my friends other 360's and PS3's. Games are art. Games are new media that must be understood.
"Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke", Hagbard Celine.



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I am going to start this by using my genitals as an analogy for the DS touchscreen and the Wiimote, something that has surely been done a million and one times for a million and one reasons (and probably once or twice for real), but it is the best one to use for the point I am trying to make so we'll count this one million and two.

It would be a safe assumption that most everyone thinks their own items are awesome, with a great many uses that the individual in question couldn't live without and as much can be said about people who enjoy the unique functionality of the DS and Wii. I've spent alot of time marvelling at the simple fun a new interaction method has added to how I play games as, various glaring failures aside, when they work they are alot of fun. Much like genitals.

But I don't always need them in my hand 24/7. Knowing they are still there is nice but I want to be able to use them when it is appropriate and thus I reach the point of my ever growing frustration with being made to use the touchscreen or Wiimotions when I don't need or want to.

Case and point the SvR 2009 games for the respective systems, the DS one in particular. It makes me use the stylus and touchscreen to do things that would be better served by a button press, IN NO WAY, does the touchscreen use make the game better, point of fact it makes it a massive pain in the arse. A similar comment can be made about waggling in the Wii version. It is thoroughly unnecessary.

Just because they are there doesn't mean they have to be used for every damn thing every damn time. I could go out in the street, junk in hand, parading myself around purely to remind the world that it is there and it has a variety of innovative uses. But I won't because that will scare people away from using me because they'll think that I use it for everything, which is silly. Inappropriate Wiimote and stylus use is like me using my member to stir my coffee, yeah I CAN, but it would be fucking stupid.

Developers, I fucking hate that you are forcing me to stir my coffee with my junk, that is why we have spoons and buttons, use them, the Wiimote and stylus are awesome, wouldn't want the world of gaming to be without them but much like genitals, keep them in your pants until you actually need to use them.



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