I am a man of many minds. Not to the level of Fight Club, or even any diagnosable multiple personality disorder, more like a captain (me) in charge of a bunch of other people (ensigns mostly). They do what I tells them to do, most of the time, but they all function as independent units.

Case and point: my sense of humour. My mind will run off on it's own tangents, often against my will, and come up with nonsense all for its own amusement.

This is manifest in something that happened while playing Team Fortress 2 a little while back.

I had been killed by the unusually named sniper "Spiderman Delight", which then started a corner of my brain on creating lyrics to "Afternoon Delight", but with a Spiderman theme. Why? Beats the fuck outta me, but here is what I came up with before I had to leave the PC and chant "Om mane padme om" to still my torn psyche.

Gonna sling my webbing,
Gonna grab it tight,
Gonna get me some Spiderman Delight
Green Goblins always saying that he wants to fight
and the thought of hitting him is getting so exciting

He may be my best friends dad but that's okay
I'm not gonna let him go and blow me away

Pumpkin Bombs in flight. Spiderman Delight.




I hate that I got that far, that should never have been thought, let alone written. I do it now only to purge it.

Then there was what happened while I was playing Third Strike earlier today. I was Urien and my opponent was Oro, a typically easy match that I ended with Urien's sit-down powerbomb throw. As an aside, if there's a problem that can't be solved with a sit-down powerbomb, I don't wanna hear about it.

Then I paused it and got up to get a drink. When I came back I saw this.



What ran through my head, completely against my will, was a trashy romance novel based around Urien and Oro.

"Urien crouched, his enourmous manhood scarcely concealed behind a thin layer of cloth. Oro dared not stir, he had wanted this for so long but the cruel glare of a disapproving society had kept his desire at bay. But now, as he lay prone, Urien had finally given into his lust and dared what they had both so desired, and yet, both so feared.

Urien slid his hands up Oro's age withered but powerful thigh, shifting aside the paupers rags that had, for so long, concealed the object of Uriens lust."

It was, naturally, at this point that I had to go vomit a little and return to my PC and watch a bunch of those videos what where the girlies touch each other and stuff.

I can't switch this crap off. I'm considering medication as an option...