As a youngling there was an arcade nearabouts that had these things called "lock-ins", which were wonderous times where an arcade would make you pay 20 Earth money to get in and then switch everything to free play.

It was fucking sweet, I beat Metal Slug that way, I also made myself quite familiar with lightgun games.

Normally, these games were too difficult and short to warrant the price, but, make 'em free and they are fantastic. From Lethal Enforcer to a live action video one that I can't remember the name of, I played them all.

So I was tickled pink to know that a big pile of them were being ported to Wii.

I don't give a shit that they are more than a decade old, House of the Dead 3 is brilliant, so is Jurassic Park, Ghost Recon etcetera. And now I can play them at home, bent drunk (as Monday is my Saturday) and as much as I want.

The only trouble is that the Wiimote is more of a mouse-esque controll than a lightgun.

So I thought of a solution.

A calibration method that makes you draw (using the Wiimote) the outline of the TV you are using. Then you have three points of reference, the sensor bar, the Wiimote and the established TV point. Then there is no more cursour movement but a triangulated space that you can aim at, from anywhere, and shoot with accuracy. This can be saved to the system memory, so your TV is 1, your parents is 2 and so on.

Who doesn't want some Time Crisis 5, some Virtua Cop 3 et al on Wii. What? It can't do good graphics? Fuck it. It can lightgun better than anything else and that is special. Like that one guy at Subway who clearly has down syndrome but is the best worker there and never fucks up your order, Colin, you make the best Pizza subs ever.

Lucky and Wild on Wii please...