hot  /  reviews  /  video  /  blogs  /  forum

FRESH MEAT  
|   FROM OUR COMMUNITY BLOGS
socialnorms blog header photo

socialnorms's blog



socialnorms avatar 10:00 AM on 03.02.2010
How to never get laid by your girlfriend

From direct observation, cliched as it is:

1. Have pretty girlfriend who wants to feel loved

2. Be gaming addict

3. Be unwilling to acknowledge problem

4. Play WoW or other PC games secretly in your room until 2 a.m., get up at 6 a.m. to work shitty job for 10 hours

5. Come home, log on, receive call from girlfriend, fake yawning to get her off the phone, tell her how hard your job is and how it tires you out, tell her you're heading straight to bed, resume gaming until 2 a.m.

6. Occasionally bring girlfriend home, lay around exhausted, blame it on the job, fall asleep on her, snore, be awakened by angry girlfriend, take her home, return, resume gaming until 2 a.m.

7. Occasionally bring girlfriend home, sit and watch roommate play video games instead of taking her out on the town or playing a game or talking

8. Actively hide addiction from roommate, collapsing the screen when playing WoW, not communicating when playing Age of Empires, putting pillow/blanket at foot of door to conceal monitor light

9. Only perk up from gaming when offered different medium of gaming

10. Leave all housework to roommate, eat frozen pizzas and drink pop all day

11. Become the embodiment of one of life's grand mysteries that you used to muse: why girls stick around for guys like you

Tagged:    cblog    Commentary  

Get comment replies by email.     settings



Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our comment moderators

Can't see comments? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this. Easy fix: Add   [*].disqus.com   to your security software's whitelist.


  Around the web (login to improve these)




Back to Top


We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -