This Sunday I turn 24, or as I like to call it, the Jack Bauer age.


This year I will make sure to headbutt as many people as possible.


If you want to get me a present, cocaine and hookers will do.

But I'm not waiting for Sunday to celebrate, the madness begins tonight!



PLAY ME OFF KEYBOARD CAT!

I recently got a chance to play paintball for the first time in my life.
My friend organized a group of about 20 people, so we didn’t have to play with any random people, which was nice. The place we played was called Liberty Paintball in upstate New York.

It was one of the must fun experiences I’ve ever had. Mostly because it was like a real life video game. In fact, the place had multiple fields that I kept calling “maps.” I also referred to each team’s base as a “spawn.” After all, paintball is basically a multiplayer first person shooter without respawns. Every round was CTF, and taking cover was essential to survival. Those certainly weren't foreign concepts to me.


This actually happened.

All the tactics I’ve used over the years in shooters came in handy that day. I was rushing, providing suppressing fire, and flanking enemies right away. All of those things are a whole lot more thrilling when it’s not just your thumbs doing it. Although, shouting out enemy positions and coordinating attacks was a little more difficult without the familiar Xbox headset.


Paintball was also an amazing workout. My legs were sore for a week afterward from all of the “roadie running” and crouching I was doing.

I highly recommend that anyone who is a fan of action or shooting games play paintball for a day. It’s an experience that’s unmatched by anything except an actual gunfight. Except you don’t have to worry about that whole “dying” thing.





And now that Spring is here, we should all try to take a break from the games and get out in the nice weather. It doesn’t have to be paintball, there’s plenty of “lol sportz” that are fun to do this time of year.


Like say, your company’s softball team.


My first hit of the softball season.

Because after all, our video games will be there any time of day, in any weather. Take advantage of the chance to get out there and engage all of your senses, not just sight and sound. You may even get a little healthier in the process.

I've mentioned it before.

But now we have the icing on the asshole cake that is Capcom.

That's right. That versus mode for RE5 was on the disc all along.

Yup. Charging money for a basic game mode wasn't enough for them. They are charging money for a basic game mode that was on the disc to begin with.



Dickholes.

A couple weeks ago I finally saw all 4 Rambo movies. I know I’m late to the party, but I certainly loved the over-the-top pure shots of testosterone that these movies were.


Manlier than you will ever be.

While watching these movies, I wondered why there wasn’t a current Rambo video game. Sure they pumped out a few crappy 8-bit titles back in the day. But why don't we have one that utilizes the technology available now?

Unlike other movie to game translations, Rambo seems like a no-brainer. All of the movies (with the exception of the first one), play out like a videogame.

Think about it. You have one extremely skilled, agile, and muscular man taking on hordes of generic enemies. Sounds like most action games on the market today.

Rambo is a brooding type and doesn’t have much to say. That’s perfect for people who don’t want the protagonist getting in the way of how they want their character to behave. Silent protagonists have been a hit in games like Half-Life or Halo.

Rambo has mostly useless friends with him in battle. Right there is the typical brain-dead friendly AI.

In the last 3 movies Rambo has to sneak into an enemy compound. There’s your obligatory stealth sequence.


No one sees him coming.


And then you have the weapons. The developers of this potential game wouldn’t have to come up with anything new. They could just put in all the ones Rambo uses in the movies.

In the movies he used his trademark big-ass knife, bow and arrows (and explosive-tipped arrows), throwing knives, plastic explosives, ak-47s, handguns, a Draganov sniper rifle, a Claymore mine, and grenades.


He blows up a helicopter with this. Seriously.


Oh, and let’s not forget the 50 caliber gun turret from 2008’s Rambo. Sweet fancy Moses that would be an awesome scene to play through.


If you saw the movie, you know how sick this would be.


He also hijacks trucks, a tank, and helicopters.

All of these things have been done, and will be done again in the 3rd person action genre. So I say to developers, if you want to make a third person action game, why not make it with a character we all know and love: John Rambo. I’m thinking it could be an awesome combo of Splinter Cell, Gears of War, and Lost Planet.

I don’t think it would be an issue with Stallone not wanting to appear in a game, as a Rocky game was released on the PS2 and Xbox.

As for timeline, it could take place anytime after Rambo 3, before the most recent film. After all that is a 20 year gap. You could fit in a lot of adventures during that time without messing with any film continuity.

If a decent 3rd person shooter was made with 50 Cent, I would hope a kick ass game could be made starring Rambo.



And if you think Rambo is manly, you should check out the pictures of me for the Mirror's Edge Contest. There's only 1 hour left, so get your votes in now. Also, big thanks to nintendoll for giving me a plug on her fantastic blog.

My fellow Dtoiders, I would like to humbly ask for the privilege of your vote in the Mirror’s Edge/Qosmio laptop contest.

You guys have the power to help me replace my decrepit 6 year old desktop.

Therefore, I’d like to present the top 6 reasons why you should vote for me:


6.) I exposed myself to thousands of complete strangers in Times Square.



Some took pictures.



Some wanted to pose with me.



....and others savagely molested me.





5.) If I don’t win, Ghetto Elmo will murder me.


Those cold emotionless eyes…





4.) If you don’t vote for me, the police will find you.







3) That guy.







2) That’s not a sock.







1) If you don’t vote for me, the terrorists win.


America, Fuck Yeah!

A couple weeks ago, Steam had World of Goo on sale for five bucks. At that value, there were no more excuses for me not to get the game.

We’ve all heard how awesome the game is, and I agree with everything that’s been said. The art, music, and mind-stimulating gameplay combine for a sublime experience. It was the first game since Braid that simply made me smile when I started playing.


My reaction to World of Goo.

It didn’t take me long to realize that the game was easily worth its regular $20 price. That got me thinking about why I didn’t buy earlier. I realized it’s because I tend to play a lot action games, and I don’t often play puzzle games.

Thus the title of this post. I think we all tend to get comfortable with certain types of games. Whether it be a whole genre, or a series of games. We don’t necessarily get closed minded to newer or different experiences, it’s just that we know that we will enjoy a new game in that particular genre or series. There is simply less uncertainty with a game that is more geared to our tastes, compared to something that we have less exposure to.

I had been going from serious action game to serious action game, so playing World of Goo was like a breath of fresh air. I certainly don’t like those action games any less, but there is something to be said for stimulating different areas of your brain.


Don’t worry, I'm not abandoning you guys.

So I say, branch out from what you know. Try something completely different than what you normally play. I’m not saying abandon those games you know and love, I’m just saying add a little spice to your gaming life. See what the big deal is about all those JRPGs (I’m trying this myself), or find out why Halo is such a polarizing series.

I’ve found that Burch’s Indie Nation posts are a convenient and cheap way to find out about some really different stuff.

Another overlooked source of variety are those Community games on Xbox Live. Sure, a lot of them are shit, but there’s some interesting stuff on there too.


Sidenote: My newest addiction came from the Community games channel. Called ZP2K9, it’s made by James Silva, the same guy who made the highly anticipated The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai. ZP2K9 is a 2D multiplayer shooter.
<br/><a href="http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?vid=826bfa6e-6cd8-43d0-9aa9-ac3da7175288" target="_new" title="ZP2K9 Gameplay clip">Video: ZP2K9 Gameplay clip</a>
It’s similar to Soldat, but with much more fun and goofier powerups and weapons. Plus you can run on walls and ceilings. At 200 points, it’s definitely worth it, and it’s thus far the only Community game I’ve felt compelled to purchase. If anyone else has this, let me know so we can play.


Some people advocate taking on new hobbies, such as cooking, to enrich your life. I say try out new games and genres to enrich your gaming life.

And if you do want to learn how to cook, learn from the ghetto gourmet himself, Coolio: