I work at a Flight Simulation company and because of this, my company is ALWAYS buying the latest greatest video cards which of course come with the latest and greatest game pack-ins. These stacks of games tend to get lotteried off to workers and because of this, I had a code for a free copy of Batman: Arkham Asylum. So if the game was free, how in the hell can I find something to bitch about? Follow along kiddies, on how even free gets extensive lockdown.

To get your copy of Batman AA, you have to go to a special link on the card and enter in your unique code. This, suprisingly, gives you another code. Yes, two codes thus far, but this code is put into Steam. Which means whether I play it now or ten years from now, it's permanently owned, I hope.

But after I put this code into Steam, I start downloading and I'm alerted of a third code, a Games for Windows code. And this point my mind is absolutely 100% blown at the sheer stupidity of this rabbit hole but whatever. I boot up Batman remembering the huge thorn in my ass commonly called the Games for Windows client but also known as "Hey Dad, look at this great big clusterfuck of a client based service I just shat out and just wished would work." Steam, being the helpful little bastard that it is, has a window ready and willing to allow me to copy pasta this code.

I only have to log into Games for Windows live now. Whatever, I have this program all set up from the last time Sega wasted 5+ hours of my time with clusterfucked DRM (with absolutely no tech support provided post launch) found in the $10 copy of Universe At War that I bought a year ago. And so I log in, or try. You see, within Batman, the GFW client is trash. I have GFW remembering a password from a year ago. Obviously it's wrong so when I uncheck remember password and try to put in the new one, something bad happens. If GFW is trying to use your old password and you want to use a new one, password input is disabled from within Batman.... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? Sure I can click the area, but it won't accept my keystrokes.

And so I try playing anyway, and get told I cannot save my progress. Goddamit, I close Batman and go into the GFW client where I can change the saved password. Here I update the damn thing and go back into Batman, log into GFW, and now, ONLY NOW, am I allowed to put in the third goddam code to verify my purchase. Everythings cool, and now I get play and eventually beat Batman.

A couple weeks later, when a couple friends are over, I try showing a friend this game. He starts the game and begins going through the Joker sequence at the beginning. My friend and I go into the living room to try and play some Raiden Fighters Aces on Xbox 360. As Joker begins his breakout, my 360 logs into my account... and boots him out of Batman Arkham Asylum. You read that right, the game is locked down SOOOO much, that it's saying you can't play Batman and Xbox 360 at the same time.

Now I say I think I own this game but honestly, I can't fucking tell anymore. Who's to say GFW won't die in the next five years leaving this game completely incapable of connecting to something so that it could say "Yeah, this fucker bought the game." Trust? Trust in Microsoft? By all rights, it's bought in Steam, should be fine, but yet there it is also buddying up with Microsoft. I know I have the ability to play the game currently, but I can't really say I own it.

Now think of all the bullshit that I, a computer savvy gamer, just went through and then think of my poor dear mother. She's new to gaming, you know. Nintendo DS got her in, Final Fantasy kept her, Civilization IV (ironically enough, one of her expansions refuses to verify it's code) compells her, and she would have NO clue how to deal with this shit. Her reaction would more than likely be just not play the game because she doesn't know how to work it. And in the war against pirates, that's the victim. Legitimate paying customers not playing what they bought because after spending $30 at Best Buy, their purchase is calling them a thief.

Me? I used to PC game all the time, but started getting annoyed at this bullshit 8 years ago. Quit for a long while. And everytime I try to get back in, DRM punches me in the dick while thanking me for my $40. And it's not the hassle that annoys me so much but rather the fact that a quick Google Search for "Batman Arkham Torrent" would give me a much more hasslefree experience than being a paying customer. That, or I retreat back to consoles yet again where I don't get the prompt "Look, we don't trust you.... are you SURE you bought this game?" when I put in a fucking PS3 disc.