I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I love you a lot. I love almost everything about you. The way you manage to make dick jokes at the most inappropriate of times, the amount of "bias" you have when reviewing games and your hilarious, often well-thought out plots involving Jonathan Holmes' anus. I find myself spending more and more time with you as the days go on, not only because I love being around you, but because I find connecting with anyone else so hard.
That was weird.
Seriously though, I love you guys. Dtoid is the one place where I feel comfortable being myself. And I've been wanting to talk about that for a while.
So yeah, I'm a teenager. I come with all the angst and awkwardness that's associated with being a teenager. The only thing is it feels like I've had this angst and awkwardness since I was born. I just can't seem to connect with most people. A lot of it has to with the fact that I'm afraid of what others think of me. If I don't talk to anyone, they won't have anything to judge me about. Some of it has to do with the fact that when I do talk to people, I can't think of anything to talk about, and end up mumbling, incoherently. Part of it might also come from the fact that my family moves around a lot, so I've almost never felt "at home". I've looked up from my desk countless times at different schools to observe different people, almost all of which I couldn't relate with. I really did want to relate with them though. I want to be invited to parties, I want to sit with others at lunch, I want to be able to hold a conversation for more than a few seconds without making things awkward. Except, maybe I don't. Sometimes I try to convince myself that I don't want those things, that I don't need these people. After all, I'm a varsity athlete, and straight A student, maybe friendships would just interfere with my chances to go to college, and lead a successful life. So why can't I eliminate this desire I have to connect with people?
Whatever the answer, I've satisfied some of that desire to connect with people through dtoid. The community is the best I've ever seen on any website. Pretty much everybody is fairly respectful, and extremely welcoming. You guys seem to understand that people are allowed to have opinions, and I have seldom encountered any shit storms or flame wars. The sense of being part of a community is fantastic, and you always feel like your contributing something important, be it a comment or a blog. The whole website has a unique personality, one that celebrates being different and at times, batshit crazy. I mean... "Polydong"? Games journalism if I've ever seen it.
I know some people don't like these blogs, but that's the point isn't it? Destructoid is a place where I'm able to speak my mind. I'm not too afraid about what you guys think of me, for some reason or another. I guess I just wanted to express my love for the site, and everyone involved in it. It really is the only place I've ever felt at home.
So... thanks. For everything.view gallery