Now, I’m just a simple man, from the country, but it seems to me that Sloth from The Goonies some how made it into this here Rage trailer. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. Just somethin’ I sawr, like two ships passin’ in the night.



Sure is nice to see!

Gaming is old, now, year-wise. It's older than I am, and though I might appear as a spring chicken appears, I do not share the vibrant cluck, or brassy stain on the inside, where it counts. Why, even now, my heart thumps irregularly and I squint to see, and understand.

I'll tell you what I like about the destructoid community blogs--for the most part, it's not about the latest news (although for some, it's about the latest news). On the whole, people here are gamers playing the games they want to play, then talking about their experiences. That's something special, because it defies this strange three-pillar system (news, reviews/previews, features), and has a lot to do with a human reaction towards a game, as opposed to the game itself. I think a lot of that has to do with people playing the games they love, as opposed to people playing new games because they have to.



Metal Gear Solid 4, I think, is really pushing reviewers to deal with the message of a game over, say, how it controls, or how well paced it is. But look at how fucking obvious it had to be! Reviewers still, and may always, write reviews for people who want a run-down of a game, sans spoilers.

And a game's message isn't necessarily more important that how it controls, after all, but when you panic as your sword lowers uncontrollably towards Aeris, we're not talking about the cleverness of mapping each button temporarily to /Kill Aeris. When you crawl out of a downed chopper, and you see a mushroom cloud lifting quickly towards the sky, and you know that you're dying as the red light consumes you and the shadows burn and obscure your vision, and you wait, you wait for something, we're not talking about how innovative the COD4 engine is. Or are we? But do you see what I mean?

I'd love to see a fourth pillar, formally recognized, that looks at video games on a strictly intellectual level, paying respects to the canon of gaming and yeah, even the canon of literature. Taking controls into account, and all the rest of it, but with regards to whatever message a game is trying to make. Something more like the stuff you guys write, and the stuff I try to write, but prepped and ready for the general public. To demonstrate just how much of an art form video games are.

“There’s a whole world of difficulty between the ninth and tenth foot in DDR,” said a lunatic–the sweaty one who would become my In The Groove 2 Sherpa. “That’s why we play ‘Groove.“

It’s still fresh in my mind, how fast they were. Their shoes were clean; saved for these moments on the mats. The arrows were ascending like rain drops in reverse, and the music filled the quiet arcade, and the soft reflection of In The Groove 2 could be seen upon the dusty monitor of the DDR machine. It had been maybe thirteen months since I’d set foot inside Johnny-Z’s. Apparently this place has become an icy monastery, where only the hard core dwell.

I remember playing Fourth Mix in front of a cloud of asians while Captain Jack told me exactly what the military step was, and when to do it. I remember seeing the craziest individuals busting out on both dance mats at once. It’s nothing compared to what I saw the other night. The night I discovered my city’s In The Groove community.

I stepped out of my skull and watched it swell as their perfectly calibrated twitches broke reality. I remember thinking, as my eyes began to itch with strain, they’re too fast. How could have these beings been grinding away at this game for so long, to get so good, without some kind of massive powerwell forming above the arcade? They were like bats in an obstacle course, twisting through the darkness on the signal of an echo.

“He made this one,” my Sherpa said to me. “He’s the only one that can get above 90% on it. He’s got it memorized.” Apparently you can fucking make songs in this game.



I kept my eyes on the guy. ITG2 is essentially DDR, but it’s a coked-out super-DDR. And these people craft impossible songs and beat the shit out of their own bodies beyond anything DDR could have allowed for. Most of the songs I saw them tackling couldn’t even be completed by a single human being. Yes, the speed was insane, and they even kept up, but this flimsy, physical husk, this ancient primate vessel we all slog around in, just isn’t good enough. One fellow (the one pictured) managed to complete his own song, the one only he could reach 90% on, and started to shake.

“He’s gunna crash.” They all said to each other. And, “dude, did you crash?” they later asked him. And he would nod silently.

Aftermath.

A spunky girl jumped over to me and outstretched her hand. She was inviting a shake. “I’m Sarah,” she let me know.

“I’m Simon,” I said.

“Do you come here often?”

“The last time I was here–,” she became distracted with one of the sweaty rhythm-gods, then apologized for her mercurial focus and looked into my eyes. “The last time I was here–,” I said again, but it was too late–she was gone.

These people, these night-dwelling, flashdrive-carrying nerd/maniacs were simply existing in a faster world. I could only observe, and be affected by their ways. She tried again, this time with an empathetic smile on her face, but it was time for me to go.

Last night I spent some time with the freaky half-bat hyper-beings of the In The Groove 2 machine we have in our city's major arcade. I learned their ways. I even found love, for a moment. More on that later, though. I read a weird article this morning on WIRED's Game|Life blog about PVP in MMOs--specifically about the PVP in Age of Conan, which is to say, Age of Conan itself. Contributor Earnest Cavalli (with a name to tip your hat to) asks: "Can [Age of Conan] really succeed based on players' desire to kill each other, or has MMO gaming simply run out of ideas and is instead opting to ape the online shooters from which they originally evolved?"

First of all, who says MMOs evolved from online FPS? I'm gunna go ahead and disagree. Maybe MMOs evolved from RPGs? That, at least, sounds better to my old ears. Maybe I'm wonky.



You could argue that Age of Conan has a very tightly structured playing experience, as the people who play it seem to sing often of bloodlust and glory to whomever will listen. So we know for sure that there's bloodlust in AOC, and glory, which sure sounds like a PVP experience to me, but there's something else that Cavalli missed, I think.

In Rory Manion's piece for 1up.com, a romantic notion lies: "I honestly can't see myself enjoying AOC on a non-PVP server. Not because I'm too masochistic to have fun without the constant threat of violence, but because that threat forces the kind of teamwork that online games are supposed to engender and, in doing so, makes the grind more bearable."

I know we try not to use the word "emergent" these days when we're talking about video games, but doesn't that resonate? Risk and danger might be all AOC needs to separate itself from Wow, and maybe pull in a million or two subscribers, if it can scale. So maybe PVP, if you leave it loose enough, is actually a doorway to a more sophisticated type of play. Or at least something different and interesting.

Playing the Haze demo was like chewing a popsicle stick. The foliage is non-deformable, which is a huge mistake, the combat is generic, and the personalities of your teammates are ridiculous. But the drug part is fantastic. Sort of.

I love the idea that you can go from a normal guy to a super-soldier through some kind of stimulant haze, but that's not what's really going on, is it? You're going from super-soldier, which is already an unfair advantage, to a kind of super-godness, where the flesh-men that surround you simply become softer. There's a duality going on, though, between being high and breathing the sweet, sweet air. Things become serene when your helmet is open--you feel more natural, and it feels good. I don't know if I like being high. I thought they'd take it in a different direction. Something more like this:



You can overjuice yourself in Haze. It essentially makes you a dangerous retard; friends and foes become indistinguishable from each other, you'll pull out a grenade, and just hold it, as the glint of sunlight dances upon its smooth surface. It's an unhelpful high, full of wasted potential.

What if the overdose forced a crazy Klingon-like battle trance where you auto-lock to heads? Where the computer gauges distance, enemy bullet trajectory, grenade usage, and all that stuff, while at the same time you're poppin' teammates in the face, you're vomiting all over the inside of your helmet, you're leaving a trail of urine through a crack in your shoe to match the trail of limbs and blood? And then you snap out of it and you're just some dude, HP-equivalent of some random enemy. Yeah, you need the haze to stand a chance, but there's also this risk/reward system where you can, optionally, blitz the fuck out and clear an entire level like some insane, drooling monster.

The demo might not be a fair showcase of the haze system, so I'll hold out hope that they
do something interesting with it, but so far my expectations have been dashed. I want to love you, Haze!

Granted, the screens look like they're from some kind of angel-console that only The Lord can play (for the controller was not made for this world), but, at least for me, I have to take a step back and really understand what I'm looking at. This is another Banjo Kazooie game.

So what we do know at this point is it looks awesome. We're aware that this one "won't be a traditional platformer," which must mean something to the tune of, "this game won't be a repeat of the last two," which is great - no one needs a remake. But who needs the franchise, really? Now, I'm fully prepared to conclude that I'm a damaged boy for not looking upon the now-gumby-esque ursine tank with his crafty little bird and getting all watery-eyed with nostalgia. But I am curious, is there anyone out there who really digs Banjo Kazooie still?

You know, I've been vocal about my wishes for BK3. In my sweetest dreams I see a grizzly, massive and wet, with a unique (but not impossible) bird, perched on his back.

Alas, it has been too long since the vile witch was cast out, and Banjo has reverted to a more natural state.



Now imagine picking up your controller and playing something crazy and new! Something fresh, something like Gears of War meets A Bear. You play the bear (or perhaps the bird, suggesting directions and actions), and you can do bear things, and there's a powerful sorceress, and she's trying to kill you. I don't think I'm prepared to settle for another Banjo game that I suspect won't deliver a paradigm shift that will accommodate the things I now appreciate about games, and the world.

But anyway, I wanted to ask, do you totally love the Banjo franchise? Are you stoked for rhis? Are you dreading it? What's the deal?