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Can't stop... playing Minecraft... must poop...sleep..Minecraft...
savagesaladin | 8:59 AM on 09.25.2010 10 comments


So I purchased Minecraft last night. Why can't I stop playing this game?

When I entered my first Minecraft world I just wanted to test it out for a half-hour before I cooked a couple of juicy, thick t-bone steaks. After I seasoned the steaks with copious amounts for garlic powder and steak/rib rub, then violently hammered them with a tenderizer like from a scene in First Blood part II when Rambo is hammering away on his big ass knife.

Then I lit the coals on fire in my tiny, barely two-foot grill. After that I finally went downstairs to try it. I jump into the game and watch the endless world form before my eyes. I look around for a bit, not straying too far from where I spawned. I start punching trees in half, making blocks of wooden logs. When you take the logs, the tree branches stay floating there. I start to build a little house but soon give up when I get the idea of just tunneling into a mountain and making shelter in there. So I start making a 2x2 hallway. Big enough for two players side-by-side. Then I start to hit rock. Tunneling is slowed down. I need a pick axe. I look up how to build stuff at this very helpful wiki page http://minecraftwiki.net/wiki/Main_Page. I build my work bench. Put the materials in order, and make my first tool.

So I start tunneling more. I build a central room. Making the room bigger makes it darker. I look up how to make a torch. I place a few of them in the room. Work begins again. I'm no longer making a shelter. I start tunneling endlessly in a straight 2x2 line. My tools keep breaking and I'm running out of torches. So I make a few short trips back to the outside to chop down trees and make some shovels, pick axes and torches out of wood and cobblestone. Work starts back up. As I'm tunneling I spot a block of sand to my left and start digging. Sand turns into what I believe is gravel. I start digging upward. Then the gravel caves in and kills me.

When you die in this game its pretty unforgiving. You spawn where you originally began. You lose all the items in your inventory. So I go back into the tunnel and dig my tools out. I begin on my path again. I'm picking and chipping and slapchopping away at the rock. Finally I hit iron ore, which must be smelted in a oven to be used. After collecting the valuable material I start digging deeper. I chip away this block and I see this huge dark cave. Then a skeleton, the first enemy I encountered, hits me with two arrows, nearly killing me. I quickly block up the hole and leave.

I started a new project and proceeded to build a cobblestone bridge to another island. I build a boat so I can work on the bridge easier. But my bridge only took me to zombie island. The zombies use the bridge to get to my home now, which is awesome.

I look at the clock and its like 130 in the morning. I played for 5 straight hours without break. The coals burned out in my grill. My girlfriend was still up and forgot about the steaks too. I dumped the ash over my neighbor's fence and finally grilled my steaks. While I was eating them I couldn't stop thinking of Minecraft. I've tunneled so deep I need to build a fucking mine cart and rail system so I can move materials and get back and forth quickly.

I'm thinking of building a gigantic Mr. Destructoid head in the side of a mountain. The only green blocks I've found were cacti. So he might be made out of that. Maybe he'll have fire for eyes. I'll need to make a scaffold system to even build the thing. Then after its completed I was thinking about blowing it up with dynamite. I'll make a video of me calmly walking away from the explosion, not looking at it as it blows up behind me.

If somebody wants to give me a hand in multiplayer let me know. I don't even have a plan on how to go about this.

This game is awesome. In real money its only $13, converted from 20 coconut dollars(the conversion rate is crrrazy!). The price is going up soon so you if you're thinking of getting it, don't wait too long.



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Those who have fapped:  Force Minerva  


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9 comments | showing # 1 to 9
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Termadoyle's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/25/2010 10:57
Termadoyle
Lol. That sounds sweet! can't wait for the video.
knutaf's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/25/2010 12:27
knutaf
Fapped for saying "slapchopping". After multiple recommendations, I just bought it too. Woot!
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/25/2010 12:42
Elsa
I don't know anything about Minecraft... though I laughed like hell when I saw this video on G4TV... poor guy! :(
Hilarious Minecraft Fire
savagesaladin's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/25/2010 13:03
savagesaladin
I'm deep underground at the moment mining diamonds and other rare materials. Lava is everywhere. My workbench caught fire down there. I also build a wooden deck up high above the lava so I can chip away at coal and that caught fire too.
Mellor's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/25/2010 18:29
Mellor
Seriously if you don't have it, buy it. Right now. Its incredibly addicting and it's not even out of alpha yet.
knutaf's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/25/2010 18:57
knutaf
HAHAHAHAHA Elsa, that was so awesome
Nihil's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/25/2010 20:26
Nihil
Fapped for the video Elsa linked.
Force Minerva's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/26/2010 11:26
Force Minerva
I don't know what it is, but this game is way too addicting.
savagesaladin's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/26/2010 11:55
savagesaladin
@Elsa Awesome video. I showed two of my friends this game using your video that you found. Thats what got them interested in it.

@Force Minerva

I know, right?
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