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8:59 AM on 09.25.2010

Can't stop... playing Minecraft... must poop...sleep..Minecraft...

So I purchased Minecraft last night. Why can't I stop playing this game?

When I entered my first Minecraft world I just wanted to test it out for a half-hour before I cooked a couple of juicy, thick t-bone steaks. After I seasoned the steaks with copious amounts for garlic powder and steak/rib rub, then violently hammered them with a tenderizer like from a scene in First Blood part II when Rambo is hammering away on his big ass knife.

Then I lit the coals on fire in my tiny, barely two-foot grill. After that I finally went downstairs to try it. I jump into the game and watch the endless world form before my eyes. I look around for a bit, not straying too far from where I spawned. I start punching trees in half, making blocks of wooden logs. When you take the logs, the tree branches stay floating there. I start to build a little house but soon give up when I get the idea of just tunneling into a mountain and making shelter in there. So I start making a 2x2 hallway. Big enough for two players side-by-side. Then I start to hit rock. Tunneling is slowed down. I need a pick axe. I look up how to build stuff at this very helpful wiki page I build my work bench. Put the materials in order, and make my first tool.

So I start tunneling more. I build a central room. Making the room bigger makes it darker. I look up how to make a torch. I place a few of them in the room. Work begins again. I'm no longer making a shelter. I start tunneling endlessly in a straight 2x2 line. My tools keep breaking and I'm running out of torches. So I make a few short trips back to the outside to chop down trees and make some shovels, pick axes and torches out of wood and cobblestone. Work starts back up. As I'm tunneling I spot a block of sand to my left and start digging. Sand turns into what I believe is gravel. I start digging upward. Then the gravel caves in and kills me.

When you die in this game its pretty unforgiving. You spawn where you originally began. You lose all the items in your inventory. So I go back into the tunnel and dig my tools out. I begin on my path again. I'm picking and chipping and slapchopping away at the rock. Finally I hit iron ore, which must be smelted in a oven to be used. After collecting the valuable material I start digging deeper. I chip away this block and I see this huge dark cave. Then a skeleton, the first enemy I encountered, hits me with two arrows, nearly killing me. I quickly block up the hole and leave.

I started a new project and proceeded to build a cobblestone bridge to another island. I build a boat so I can work on the bridge easier. But my bridge only took me to zombie island. The zombies use the bridge to get to my home now, which is awesome.

I look at the clock and its like 130 in the morning. I played for 5 straight hours without break. The coals burned out in my grill. My girlfriend was still up and forgot about the steaks too. I dumped the ash over my neighbor's fence and finally grilled my steaks. While I was eating them I couldn't stop thinking of Minecraft. I've tunneled so deep I need to build a fucking mine cart and rail system so I can move materials and get back and forth quickly.

I'm thinking of building a gigantic Mr. Destructoid head in the side of a mountain. The only green blocks I've found were cacti. So he might be made out of that. Maybe he'll have fire for eyes. I'll need to make a scaffold system to even build the thing. Then after its completed I was thinking about blowing it up with dynamite. I'll make a video of me calmly walking away from the explosion, not looking at it as it blows up behind me.

If somebody wants to give me a hand in multiplayer let me know. I don't even have a plan on how to go about this.

This game is awesome. In real money its only $13, converted from 20 coconut dollars(the conversion rate is crrrazy!). The price is going up soon so you if you're thinking of getting it, don't wait too long.   read

8:18 AM on 07.16.2010

Diablo is dragging me back to Hell. Oh God, what have I done?

I am currently downloading Diablo II from Blizzard directly. Its been about seven or eight years since I've played. I stopped playing after my so-called friend stole all of my extremely rare in-game items from both of my high-level characters-- a Barbarian and Amazon. I couldn't do it anymore after that.

I started playing a hacked version of the game a couple weeks ago since I lost my CD-Key. Playing through as a single-player character was fun for a while. But I felt there was no point in playing since I would never find any truly unique items and never be able to play on Nightmare difficulty without the help of a party.

I wonder what its going to be like since I've been out of the game for so long. Is the game full of hackers like the first Diablo now? Will I be relentlessly called a 'newb'? Does anybody play anymore?

So the digital download and retail version of the game costs $20. Who knew? The game has been out for 10 years. Blizzard is making an endless supply of monies from WoW, and they still need to charge $20 for a 10-year-old game? And get this, the shitty expansion costs $20 as well! Whatever, I guess I shouldn't bitch. Since I just bought the game.

So... anybody have any unique items they don't want? A little bit of gold? Or does anybody want to party up and haul ass through Hell? Let me know.   read

5:22 PM on 07.22.2008

The struggle between the PS3 and I

A couple of weeks ago I bought a PS3. After a week of experiencing its capabilities I was like "wow, this a pretty incredible system". I mostly bought it to play MGS4. I purchased the 80g model w/ MGS4 bundled. A pretty decent deal for $500.

Well all this awesomeness just went down the toilet when MGS4 froze during a cutscene and I had no choice put to reset it. When I did I found out that I corrupted the HDD. Then I had to rebuild the database. Over and over and over again, I "rebuilt" the database. All that it would do is restart. Finally it went to the XMB. Everything is fine, right? No. After attempting to play a game it froze then I had to go through the exact same BULLSHIT over and over and over again. When it went to the XMB again I decided to do a quick format. Took about 10 seconds. I thought all of my problems were solved except for the fact that I lost all of my saves and downloads.

So I went through and started downloading everything again. I had to install MGS4 again and MGO. That takes about 45 minutes total because of the excruciatingly slow download time of the update. Then about an hour later of playing MGS4 (this time I backed my saves up), it froze again when I paused. So guess what. Thats right. All of the same bullshit over again.

When I finally was able to get to the XMB again I did a full format. (this was last night). Took about 4 hours. Whatever. Seemed to have fixed everything.

Today I was playing MGO and I was disconnected or something. Then it froze while it was loading. There is NOTHING you can do but restart. My HDD is corrupted again, now I'm on another full format. About 3 hours left. What the hell do I keep doing wrong? I know I know, don't turn it off when the HDD light is blinking. But what are you supposed to do? These machines aren't going to fix themselves. Is it because of the latest update?

Does anybody else have this problem??!?! Heres a short video of it in action:


Any input would be great. Keep in mind that my system is well taken care of. Well ventilated in a modest room temperature. It fucks up because... well... because I'm using it to play video games. Is that so bad? If I have to send it in and Sony dicks with me I'll fucking flip out and head butt the sidewalk.   read

3:09 PM on 03.15.2008

Rambo 4 Music Video, probably NSFW.

A lot of people disliked Rambo 4, or just don't like Rambo movies. The biggest complaint is that he doesn't talk. Well, I don't care what you say, the Rambo kicks ass. He doesn't have to talk. He just does his thing, survive against the odds, kill a shit load of people, be the hero of the day. He's a man of a few words and I believe thats brilliant.

Anyway, I made this music video. It was my first time editing video, plus adding music. I used Nero to make it and it was fairly easy. What wasn't was the song choices. I chose two classics. I tried my best to make them fit the moment. I may be redoing it sometime. If you have any ideas of what music or scenes, any advice, that would be awesome.

The video is super violent and gory. If you want to see what berserk looks like, watch this video.

Oh, and heres how its videogame related: Rambo features badasses, so do games. Theres your connection. (sigh) The quality is a bit gimped because of the video site that I used, but I'm also uploading it to others.

Please watch it and enjoy.

[embed]75741:9227[/embed]   read

1:54 PM on 03.14.2008

SSBB Stage Creator Limited, Imagination Isn't, Smashes head into sidewalk.

Unless there is extra shit you can unlock for the stage creator, I find it extremely limited. There are probably less than 40 items you can use to build the stage. And its all very basic, too. Plus you can't use the wii pointer to grab and move stuff, which I thought would've been useful. You can't shrink or enlarge stuff. Plus only 4 backgrounds. I'm happy about the music selection, though.

It was nice of them to provide me with a piece of paper, but they could've have included a pencil to draw with. Its not like I'm going to draw a bunch of expanding dicks. They give me a clean slate and say "alright, heres a latter, some moving platforms, some spikes that only point up, a solid floor, floors you can jump and fall through, a tree and a stack of rocks. Don't put anything close together, and don't do anything creative. Thats our job." When I first heard of the stage creator my mind started going wild.

But, I may be wrong, because there is so much shit in that game you can unlock that there may be way more to it. I really hope so, anyway.

I wish map makers were more deep. Halo's isn't bad at all, but I wish I could alter the terrain. Farcry for the Xbox had my favorite map maker. You can start from scratch and rig shit, do almost anything you want. Make multiple islands, super tall mounts, death-pits, camps, stuff like that. Your imagination was allowed to go wild. Too bad I didn't have anybody to play with.

A more in-depth map maker would have made SSBB perfect. I'm not going to bitch about online play. I don't have the energy.

What do you guys think? Were you severely disappointed in the stage creator? Do you think I am stating a valid point or just nitpicking? They could've not even included the stage creator, then I would have pretty much nothing to bitch about.

Oh, here is my nitpick (coming from an MGS fan), they should have made Grey Fox a playable character instead of an assist trophy.   read

9:43 AM on 03.14.2008

Friend of mine says Smash Bros is a buttons masher, should I beat his ass?

One of my best friends says that Smash Brothers is a button mashing fighter, does this mean he knows nothing about the game?

I mean, I don't even think SSBB is like your average fighter. The goal is different, there is no health meter, just a damage percentage. The goal is to knock the FUCK out of the other players from the stage.

Although he hasn't played SSBB yet, he's played other Smash Bros. I think he played against skilled opponents before sitting down for several days to find out how to really move and beat some ass.

I myself never owned a Smash Brothers game, I just played extensively against a friend that did own it and I got my ass handed to me every time. Button mashing didn't work.

After I purchased and played SSBB with a buddy from mid-afternoon till 7 in the AM, several days in a row, I finally found the true beauty of Smash Brothers. At first we mostly went through Co-op on the Emissary, which there is still shit I haven't completed, we both knew how to work together. Then we would fight each other, usually on the Final Destination stage, and he would beat my ass into the ground. Then I learned more play mechanics. I've become really good with Snake, Ike and Pit. He's become good with Snake, Marth and Samus. We would sometimes max the stock and just practice stuff on each other, then really fight.

Whenever its Snake vs Snake its like the fight of the universe (especially since we're huge MGS fans).

We both agree that our friend is a dumbass and are debating if we should put the beat-down to him in front of his family.   read

3:28 PM on 03.11.2008

Let me show you my dirty SSBB pics. Oh wait, I fucking CAN.(cus of covah)

I'm not going to dance around it, SSBB is a great fucking game. I clocked 11 hours last night with a friend playing it. I ended up going to sleep at like 7am. We took some pretty dirty pictures. Most of them were hilarious. A little while ago I thought, "hey, Dtoiders are dirty fucks, I bet they would dig this shit". So I transfered the photos to an SD card, then I tried to access them on my PC, and to no surprise, Nintendo pulled a fast one on me, the pictures can't be recognized. What are they scared of? That I'm going to post pictures on the internet of Toad going down on Princess Zelda (Sheik)? (yes we took that one).

So unless you're on my friends list (you're not), you ain't seeing them. Bull-fucking-Richard-Simmons-shit! FUCK.

I also have a picture of Snake closely inspecting Sheik's ass.

God dammit.


Covah, aka-- AWESOME, sent me a link for a program to transform these files into actual pictures. Covah, you pimp.

Go Toad you fucking pimp!


whats he doing with that flower?   read

2:13 PM on 03.06.2008

Trees Murder People Every Day

Lumberjacks save lives. Trees are everywhere. In our backyards, in our front yards, even in our forests. Trees like to fall down and cave in houses, killing entire families. If a tree had the chance, it would murder you and everyone you care about.

I used to say "I chop down trees because I DONT GIVE A FUCK!". Well, now whenever I chop down a tree or just burn it, I know I make a difference and possibly save a life or even a whole family.

When you hug a tree, just know, that tree isn't hugging you back. Its plotting revenge because your house is made out of its family.

So the next time you see a Lumberjack, say thanks. But don't look him directly in the eyes or he will jack you. After all, without lumberjacks we wouldn't have lumber. Without lumber we wouldn't have lincoln logs, houses, pencils, sticks for beating children and fire. Marshmallows would be completely useless. Ever eat a marshmallow just out of the bag? Me neither.

Carry that axe with you. You look that tree right square in the eyes, and you say take your best shot pal, I can take it.   read

1:17 PM on 02.26.2008

COD4 Message of the Day (wtf?)

This is kind of weird. The message of the day on Call of Duty 4 reads:

"Welcome to the BETA! Max rank for the BETA is currently Master Sergeant I (Lv.20). Enjoy the game!"

Anybody else notice this?   read

11:04 AM on 02.26.2008

How do you play backups on the Dreamcast?

I'm thinking about buying a Dreamcast just to play backups and homebrew on it. I never owned a Dreamcast or played many of the games, and I heard its easy to play backups and homebrew on it.

Is it possible to just burn a Boot disk? Any websites or information on doing so would be great. Also, how big are the games usually?


The system is dead and nobody is making games or money on it. Spare me an anti-piracy speech.   read

12:08 PM on 02.24.2008

Drunk Brits make me go "HAHA" on Xbox Live.

I'm an American living in the Midwest and I've met exactly 0 Brits in person. But in the mornings, usually playing COD4, I come across groups of Brits. Usually drunk-- I mean pissed (I think). They are almost always hilarious. I thought Americans used a lot of profanity. I was wrong. Brits have figured out how to use the word "fuck" for almost every occasion and word. They are so dramatic about it.

I often think of the movie Snatch when these guys go on a rant. I wonder what movies Brits think of when they come across a bunch of unruly Americans?

Its awesome because whenever I play with Brits it reminds me of the British SAS part of COD4. Every player is a MacTavish, or whatever his name is. Then whenever I play with Americans, usually 80% of the time, its like I'm playing the crappy Marine parts of the game, with everybody being that black guy that raps. Thats when I mute the person.

I've come across some Brits that I guess are the British equivalent of rednecks. I can't understand one word that they are saying. They are supposedly speaking English, but it registers as Jive.

"Did ya' see dat? ah' plum shot dat guy in de fuckin' 'haid. Dat moda' fucka' is wasted, man. Right On! 'Sup, dudes brains are all ova' de wall and shit. I'm audi-fivein' t'audi-five gots' some mayonnaise sandwich. "

Well, enough talking about CoD4, its time to go play it.

Jive translation from   read

10:24 PM on 02.17.2008


Why do people still listen to that douche? Don't news programs run background checks? Maybe type in "Jack" in Google to see what comes up? I really wish this used condom would just kill himself. He's a psycho. He hurts people after terrible incidents. Over and over again he does. He's disgusting. He calls himself an expert on school shootings. So that means hes really good at shooting up schools?

Wasn't this sperm dumpster getting disbarred? Whatever happened to that?

How does he even sleep??? As ugly as Jack Thompson is I would hate to see what his wife and child look like.

Whenever I see a pile of shit I think of Jack Thompson. Like, this morning, I walked out to get the newspaper and stepped into a warm pile of Jack Thompson. This evening I took a huge nut and crunch Jack Thompson with corn sprinkled on it. It took two flushes to take that fucker down. Just now I thought I was about to fart, but a little bit of Jack Thompson leaked out. Don't you hate that?

Whenever you see or hear about Jack Thompson, whats the first thing comes to mind?   read

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