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sandorasbox avatar 6:19 PM on 02.16.2010  (server time)
Just how bad is the new Final Fantasy XIII commercial?

I don't watch basketball (I play video games, man), so I lucked out of having to sit through this affront when it aired, potentially ruining my evening of watching grown men run back and forth between baskets.

My first response was something like "are they kidding?!", not because of the 360 logo at the end, or the exclusive bundle deal, but because that was easily one of the worst game commercials I've seen in a while.

What were they thinking?

It's almost painful to think that the fanboys who downrated that video were too busy downrating it for the xbox logo on the end to downrate it for being BAD.

I know video game commercials have never been perfect *painful shudder as I remember the 90s* but I'd almost gotten used to the relatively decent stream of them coming out as of late.

Off the top of my head there's:

The Dragon Age Commercial

People fighting shit is always cool, especially when you get an angry guy talking about fighting shit over an angry guitar chord.

The Mass Effect 2 Commercial

Fish man? Check. Lizard man? Check. Chick with a gun? Check. Angry liberal chick? Check. Narrated by a handsome starship captain (played by Tom Brady)? Damn, I sure do want to see that movie.

The Bayonnetta Commercial

Not only do we see at least one fetish for every guy out there, but Sega made the GREAT choice of picking a La Roux song. Note to people who make commercials: if you hear cool music, we will associate cool music with whatever product you are trying to sell, thus making the product cool by association.

Speaking of which...

The Dante's Inferno Commercial

Every time this commercial airs in my apartment my English major roommates freak out. I kinda do too, but it's okay because the commercial has a guy, "scythe grinding" his way into Hell to the tune of a Bill Weathes song. I played the demo, and it was definitely not as fun as watching the commercial.

The inFamous Commercial

Not that this commercial is spectacular or anything, but it a) communicates the style of game you will be playing and b) looks pretty cool. Nothing too great, but its the kind of thing you and your dad could drink a beer to while trying to watch something else.

I could go on and on, but the point question still stands: what were they (Square-Enix) thinking?

With so many good game commercials out there, do they think anyone watching an NBA game is going to say "Yeah, look at that chick's face getting put together like a jigsaw puzzle" or "Hot damn, is that Leona Lewis? I love her!"

I actually want to play the game less now. Thanks Squeenix. And please don't give me the "but sir, that was a respectable commercial meant for sophisticated adults like us". It wasn't, don't kid yourself.

Why does a game with a battle tune as catchy as this (0:57)

use a slow ass pop song? When I hear that battle tune I want to go do things, like go outside and possibly drive to Best Buy to pick that shit up. Leona Lewis makes me want to roll over and go to sleep.

Amongst all the arguments that Square-Enix no longer has any idea with the series, or us Western gamers in general, I can only look at this commercial and concede that they at least don't know what they're doing with commercials.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I still have that La Roux song stuck in my head.

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