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Sharks and Dolphins: Neutral Arguments
randombullseye | 2:17 PM on 08.26.2008 13 comments


Recent community blogs have suggested sharks to be superior to dolphins or that dolphins are better than sharks. I'll now provide arguments for both. Would you like to know more?

For sharks!

5) Sharks with laser beams attached to their heads.



4) A whole week is dedicated to them once a year on the discovery channel.

3) The giant shark horror film genre.



2) Shark Attack: The Board Game



1) Zombies fight Sharks.


For Dolphins!

5) A dolphin sexually assaulted Hank Hill.



4) This crazy movie. It later inspired an even more awesome segment in the Simpsons.

3) Dolphins caused people to whine about Tuna. Effectively saying a Dolphin's life is worth more than that of a Tuna. Which is the same as all dolphins saying, "Fuck you tuna fish. We're better."



2) Kyle's dad on South Park had sugary to become a dolphin.



1) Flipper had a movie with Paul Hogan and Elijah Wood.




FINAL ARGUMENT:

Both the shark and the dolphin fail to be proper creatures. Why you ask?

They're both used by Aqua Man.



Both used by Aqua Man.



Aqua Man uses dolphins and sharks. Uses dolphins and sharks.



Aqua Man. Sharks. Dolphins. Uses them.



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13 comments | showing # 1 to 13

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Hamza CTZ Aziz's Destructoid Blog
fuck Aquaman!


Also, why'd you kill your blog Scrixx?
shipero's Destructoid Blog
In addition, Batman's better than Aquaman. Therefore, via the transitive property, we can assume that Batman's better than both dolphins and sharks. This just further proves my theory that whenever the question "Which is better X or Y?" is posed the answer will always be "Batman"
randombullseye's Destructoid Blog
Rorschach is better than Batman.
shipero's Destructoid Blog
Batman wasn't disintegrated like some punk-ass bitch. So you'll have to excuse me if I disagree.
randombullseye's Destructoid Blog
You just spoiled The Watchmen for some people. That's not very nice.
Justice's Destructoid Blog
"A dolphin sexually assaulted Hank Hill."]

That episode was so funny. Good blog RB.
shipero's Destructoid Blog
It's been 20 years, the statue of limitations for spoilers has passed. Besides if I really wanted to spoil thing I would have shared the fact that The Silk Spectre is really a man or that Ozymandias is Keyser Söze.
Professor Pew's Destructoid Blog
What is Aquaman doing with his fists? Oh god nooooooooo!
randombullseye's Destructoid Blog
Good point Shipero.

Might as well reveal that The Comedian actually was wasn't a comedian at all. He sings show tunes.
Krow's Destructoid Blog
As I was reading that last bit about Aqua Man my browser locked up. Scary.
Edarios's Destructoid Blog
guess what bitch, the dolphins have Michael Phelps on their side.
mix's Destructoid Blog
Nice stuff!

Aqua man is a bitch.
pendelton21's Destructoid Blog
Shark Attack = greatest board game evar.


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