This has absolutely nothing do with a world builder like Black & White[i] or [i]The Sims. I'm not talking about that feeling you get walking down the street in an open world crime game, blasting every person or vehicle that you come across and saying out loud, "I am god. Here is my wrath." I'm talking about that completely unbeatable feeling. That I am god feeling that a game can give you, only when playing on easy mode. I realized this as I spent the morning playing Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage for several hours on easy, obliterating everything in my way. There was no enemy in the game that could scratch me. I was god.

Look at that screenshot up top, that life bar is full and everything around me is already dead.

There is no reason to play a lot of games on their hardest difficulty modes. Easy and easiest are where to hang out and enjoy a game as god. I've long said that the best way to enjoy something like Dante's Inferno or God of War is on easy mode, where nothing in the game that can challenge your character. You are the fiercest thing there, and shall spread fear throughout the enemy. A dynasty warriors game featuring straight hand to hand fighting really made me appreciate that feeling of whooping thirty guys with three button presses. The simple X X Y combination got me through many levels, sometimes I would press X wait a second, then hit Y. Sometimes, just three quick hits of the X button killed the shit out of a group of dudes. On occasion, you unleash a super attack that allows you to splatter dudes spectacularly, merely by pressing one of the other buttons.

The old Fist of the North Star games on Genesis and regular Nintendo were a fun trip too, you actually kick dudes right off the screen. I loved it so much. Here in this new game, you actually do his full on special secret technique everyone seems to be aware of, and make guys explode violently. Often, I find myself turning my back to these events, and letting my character just stand there, while six fuckers just explode. This is why I play video games. No, I'm not going to finish this game, unlock all the characters, or even get tons of achievement points. I merely got this, so I could hit people and make them explode, then turn my back to them as they pop. Why can't more games be fun? I like tactical RPGs more than the next guy, but come on. I want more games where I'm turned loose upon the game, and can just whoop it.

I've spent a fair amount of time playing video games, often talking about how I'm looking for a challenge. My own great white whale or Everest to climb up, beat, and then move on to some other difficult game. I feel completely past that, now I want games that make me feel like god. I want to walk into a room, where a million bad guys shoot me a thousand times each, and with one button press, I clear the entire room, violently. A certain weapon on Earth Defense Force 2017 actually allows you to do that , and playing upon easy can make this an actual thing you can do in a video game. A weapon that just destroys an entire city in one hit is about the most incredible thing you can ever do. I'm totally downloading a save from GameFAQs that has this unlocked next time I want to play that game.



Why bother earning that, some other person has and now I can reap the benefits of it. I'd rather cheat and actually use it, than just not do it like I did the Fred Durst in Smackdown Just Bring It. Early on the PS2 you could unlock Fred Durst, and then proceed to give him stone cold stunners, rock bottoms, DDTs, or just throwing that cocksucker off a steel cage. Even if throwing him off the cage doesn't kill him, just like those hits to the skull in Fight Night as a boxer is falling over, it won't stop me from yelling “I just killed him!” I missed the opportunity on that one, and god dammit, I want that genocide gun. I don't care about fake achievement penis waving points, or being some competitive king of the world gamer, I want a gun that blows up city blocks full of giant ants. The only one I have anything to prove to is myself, and having a trophy or record of my accomplishments laying around only makes me feel like an asshole for having spent so much time unlocking something worthless.

Zombie Genocider, I'm looking at you. In Dead Rising, you can kill forty three thousand zombies to unlock Mega Man's “Mega Buster.” I did that stupid achievement, three times. Twice for myself, and once for a friend. I regret nothing about killing nearly a hundred and fifty thousand zombies, just for laser gun. If more games connected something really cool, to something that was fun to do, then I could give two shits or a fuck about achievements. Why would I waste my time killing ten thousand dudes so a thing lights up and says “yeah, you killed ten thousand dudes 50” with no reward other than that? I'm referring to the “seriously” achievement within several Gears of War games. If I happened to play enough and get it by accident, awesome. But to intentionally sit down and obsess over it, like I do everything, that would make me crazy.

Another example of a video game that absolutely gave me that invincible feeling was for the exact opposite reasoning, and might as well have been called Fist of the North Star. I'm talking about God Hand a PS2 beat em up from Clover. The game is known mostly for the intense amount of difficulty it has, but in certain circles it is known as having some of the tightest and most customizable fighting within a video game. If you mess up, it is your own fault for not dodging, blocking, or using the right technique at the right time. The last time I played the game, I got that feeling of invincibility I'm talking about. That "I'm god." moment, where you and the controller are one and no character on the screen, even the gorilla wearing a luchadore mask or his guitar playing friend, could touch me. I managed to beat an entire section of the game without being hit by anything, and use a special technique that kicked a guy into outer space. Video games can be fucking awesome sometimes.



While my heart still has a place for Battletoads and [i[Shin Megami Tensei[/i], there is something to be said about an easy trip through a handful of levels just walking from one side to the next beating the hell out of anything in front of you. I've a stack of Shin Megami titles that sit unresolved, waiting for me to find the time to finish them. Battletoads nearly broke me as a man, but I beat it. However, I still consider the Super Nintendo game Battletoads in Battlemaniacs, unbeatable. I've watched you tube videos that I don't believe are real. The jetbike level is hell, the snake level is worse, and the level after, with buzz saws, is unbeatable.

A few weeks ago, I got invited to play that remake of Turtles in Time, the one that I love and everybody else hates on Xbox Live Arcade. We set the game to easy and blitz through it, to the point where even Super Shredder was little to no threat. I then set the game to hardest difficulty, where myself and a friend made it several levels in before one of us ran out of lives and the other lasted until the stupid alligator boss on a train took his last life. It was at this moment, that I really knew which way of playing was more satisfying.

Yet, we still discussed starting over and finishing the game on hardest at a later date.

All said, I plan to spend tonight playing Persona 4 and tomorrow playing Catherine on hard.

[This was written months ago. Why did I never publish it?]

That movie Ricki-Oh has nothing to do with anything, other than being a ripoff of Fist of the North Star, but is still pretty fucking awesome. I almost put a picture in here of that movie, but a picture is nothing compared to a video. I found a review I wrote for "fun" movies, as well as stuff about Grim Grimoire that I've not published yet. So yeah, look for me to publish those things.