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Old School Games: Smash TV
randombullseye | 10:41 AM on 08.18.2008 16 comments


Do you like sadistic games shows? How about blood sports? If yes, then you'll love this old school game. Would you like to know more?



This is one of those overly priced games that my parents got on credit for me. We used to play two players on this one a lot back in those glorious 8-bit days. It was just tough then as it is today.



First up, the box is close to being perfection. Its lame and cool at the same time. A weird duality very few game covers can achieve.



Now for the game itself. Ever see that movie The Running Man? The premise feels a lot like that. You play a contestant in a blood sport game show, complete with faboulas prizes and a cheesy host. Even in the 8-bit version you hear the host yell out "I'd buy that for a dollar!"



As for the controls, your little man can shoot in the direction that he's moving. In some versions if you hold a button down, you can aim with the directional pad which way to fire. Very useful as you're going to need to keep shooting everywhere if you wish to make it anywhere in Smash TV. "Good luck, you'll need it" The host jeers as you begin your game of death.



Its the little red and blue guy against everything else. Pretty much everything shoots at you or attacks you. The only helping hand is the power ups you collect, but even they can't even the odds. I can barely get anywhere on the NES version even now. This game is brutal. "Total carnage!" the host mocks as you get murdered again and again.



As for the power ups you can collect, even in this version you've a small arsenal to pick up. A grenade launcher that sprays out death. An always useful spread gun. Stars that spin around you. A green force field that murders anyone you touch. A nice rocket lounger. Now since this is a game show, you're competing for points. The other pick ups are cash money and various prizes: VCRs, boom boxes, and similar late eighties novelty items. "Big money! Big prizes! I love it!" The host yells as you rush to collect your various prizes. All the while risking your life.



Other than my beloved regular Nintendo version, there are ports on just about every system imaginable. The super Nintendo one seems to be the most beatable and its wonderfully violent. Characters bloodily explode in that version. A more direct arcade port is also available on xbox live arcade. There was a sequel called Total Carnage released to the arcades as well as being ported to most home consoles.



I have a lot of fun every time I play Smash TV, but I can barely beat the first few levels. Let alone the boss battles, they just absorb bullets like a sponge. If you're anything of a masochist you'll love Smash TV. A fun two player game with some very catchy background music. They don't make games like Smash TV anymore. The sort where the end of the game doesn't matter so much as score.



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15 comments | showing # 1 to 15
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-PL-'s Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 11:43
-PL-
I think this game would be amazing if remade into a modern "analog stick" shooter. It fits the formula extremely well.
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 11:47
Y0j1mb0
What -PL- said.
commish's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 11:56
commish
isn't the super smash tv that's on x-box arcade like that?
PeZ's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 12:01
PeZ
I have the original arcade cabinet for this baby! But the sad fact is that on freeplay at home, with no punishments of limited continues and such, the game becomes numbing quick. But it's still quite fun for a while.

In fact, I'm going to go check if it's possible to set it on limited continues but no coins right now!
CypherVR's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 12:19
CypherVR
holy crap i had no idea this was for NES, i've played the SNES version but - wow, talk about downgrade.

and..
dgenerate's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 12:29
dgenerate
This is one of the classics I play with my roommate every now and then. We're slowly working our way to the 3rd level... so close.

I still haven't bothered trying the 'double-fisted action'
How do you use 2 controllers to play this!?

-PL-, Jimbo
You sirs, are incorrect! I would normally agree, but there is something to be said about the difficulty in switching your direction of fire amidst the chaos. (in the NES version anyway)
-PL-'s Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 12:34
-PL-
Ah, I've only played the SNES version, where the D-pad is used for moving up, down, left, right, and the XABY are used for shooting up, right, down, left respectively... Seems almost like a primitive version of what the analog stick shooters are doing currently.
randombullseye's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 12:55
randombullseye
I felt the same way when I tried some of the the right stick shooters.

There was another older arcade game called Robotron that had a similar way of firing. I think it predated Smash TV by a few years.
galagabug 's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 13:00
galagabug
double fisted action ftw! my fave box icon of all time.


and they did remake it with dual analog controls, its called geometry wars.
Demtor's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 13:05
Demtor
Haha, awesome. Hardcore classic right there. I do prefer the SNES version just cause thats what I played when I first experienced Smash TV, so thats what I'm used to.
YONKE's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 13:58
YONKE
big money!!!!!!!
big Prizes!!!!!!!!

IIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLoooooovveeeit
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 15:05
Aaron Mxy Yost
I've been tempted to spend the five bucks to download this on XBLA, I loved this game back in the arcades. I downloaded the trial last night but haven't tried it out yet. Anyone played that version?
nebones's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 23:55
nebones
I just downloaded the demo and loved it. I'm considering buying the full game.
Ceej989's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/19/2008 00:06
Ceej989
ahhh wow, Smash TV, brings back memories, of me getting my ass kicked thanks a lot :-(

kidding, nice pics of the game!
Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/19/2008 07:26
Char Aznable
I bought it on XBLA a month or two ago, and it is as unforgiving as ever. I'll play some co-op if anyone else has it. It's usually pretty dead on XBL co-op, so I'll hop on if someone wants to play.

GT: ShinigamiBV
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