I give up. Three words I never want to say with video games. "I give up."It's the admission that you suck. That goes beyond just using a guide or cheats, you're quitting a game. You're admitting that the money you paid to them for this game was a gift and it you just feel like a loser. That's the real game over. Not being able to beat a game. Not even playing it sometimes. Just getting stuck or frustrated or instantly hating a game and never returning. The classic story of giving up.



I've a save on Final Fantasy 3 (really six, thanks America) on Super Ntendo from three years ago. Three years ago. Have I given up? No. I pick it up every once in awhile. I walk around. I even once checked a guide to see if I was doing things right. I'm in the "ruin" part, if that helps you know where I am without spoiling the game for anyone. I'm in the third or fourth town there. I just, I don't know. I had an audible sigh right there. After having to go back to get the Ninja, I feel like such a dickhead. That's the word that comes to mind, dickhead. That because I messed up and had to reload an early save, I'm wrong. Not the game. It's me. I'm doing it wrong.

The main reason for this post, Persona 3. Specifically FES: The Answer. Much like any other game, if its listed as taking six hours, I'll be there for ten. If it says twenty five, I'll be there more than thirty. If it says eighty, I'll be there for a hundred. The main game took me well over a hundred hours. I'm entering hour forty on The Answer. I'm unable to finish it. I just feel so fatigued by it. I'm at that point now where I want to just watch what happens on you tube. Six years ago, we couldn't do that. Internet video was a joke. Now with that option, why even play a game with a storyline. Get stuck on that difficult part? Well who cares. Let's just watch it. I do that with multiple ending games now. There's no reason to play through a game twice anymore. More and more, I find myself not having a reason to play through the game once. I played Prototype for less than a few hours before I decided to return it to gamefly. Within the first couple hours, I'd seen and done all I wanted. That should have been the caption.



I've had Persona 4 sitting here staring at me for a year. A whole year! In the plastic for well over six months. I played it one afternoon for an hour to get started and loved it. Why can't I let go of the third game and move on to the fourth? I certainly did that with Innocent Sin! That's Persona 2';s first half and where I was told to start for Shin Megami. An excellent game, fan translated only. I played a good deal and loved it. Got stuck in a bomb shelter and quit. That was over a year ago. My save says LAST JANUARY! The new Persona PSP remake? Also quit. I'm a quitter.

Onimusha 2, I quit. Somehow, I made it through this hellish other world realm from a mineshaft hole. Saved by some girl and rode off on a horse. I haven't gone back to it but the one time the next day. This was the first PS2 game I bought in my "2009 PS2 buying madness." Of all the games I wanted, Onimusha was top of the list. As I write this, I'm playing Onimusha 3 for the second time. I only played the fourth game once. I loved it, but I'm so busy with everything else who cares. Honestly, at this point if you don't nod your head in agreement or want to call me a jerk for owning tons of games and not playing them, then you don't have an opinion at all. As of press time, I made it about two thirds through Onimusha 3. Upon getting new games in the mail, I quit playing it and Deadly Premonition to play the new games.



My excuses are simple. Why don't I play games constantly like I did two years ago? Between the forty hour night shift job which has destroyed my sleep schedule, working out, the girlfriend, writing for Tomopop officially as an intern, writing for my user blogs on Destructoid and Japanator as well as other user blog sites, Abbey the dog, and my netflix viewing, I barely have an hour or two to play games. This is why I have two tvs with games always on when I'm home. I leave them on pause or title screens ready to be played. Even as I write this, I could be grinding levels or playing games but I feel so compelled to write and be a part of this, whatever this is anymore, that I can't not do it. Like the reviewer who only gets to play games for review, I'm in that level of hell where I have the money to buy all the games I want and no time to play them all. Some day I'll have the time to play all this. If I keep repeating it, maybe it will become true.



I know what you're thinking! Mewtwo to tells me these things. What about games like Katamari or Galaga that don't have endings? Well obviously you can quit at any time there. That's not the point of those games. What I'm focusing on, and what I own most of, are RPGs. Something about leveling up and becoming powerful does it for me. I know most action games do that too these days, but its not the same. I have to grind with random battles and explore around somewhere. Talking and fighting monsters who get progressively stronger. Disgaea and its cousins are wonderful for that. I could just level in those games and never worry about even playing the main story. But that's a whole other blog post.

BONUS:

I actually found this post in an unpublished folder. I felt bad about not writing anything, so I touched it up a bit and here you go! I wanted to post Budd Dwyer's suicide, but in a wacky techno remix. I guess people on you tube don't think someone killing himself is rife for satirical techno remix. So instead, I'll give you this!