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randombullseye avatar 4:43 PM on 06.23.2012  (server time)
Games Played This Month - May 2012

Every month I keep record of what I played, and then publish it here
on the first Sunday of the next month.

This month, I barely played half the games I usually do. I moved this
month, as well as just exhausted when I'm not at work. I bought
nothing new, nor rented anything. Just writing my book, working at
this post, and my silly night job. If I got to sleep, I was so happy.
It seems like May just started, just as it was ending. My perception
of time has accelerated to where I have no concept of it, no grasp in
understanding it. Other than that, I sent a fairly complete version
of my book to my editor. I'm so excited to hear if I'm stupid or not.

For some reason, all my text is over on the left, computers are dumb and I don't have time to correct their mistakes today!

Here is what I played, in May.

Earth Defense Force 2017 - Xbox 360

I love this game, easily among the best games of this generation. A
wild game, that is just a hoot to play. I get to shoot rocket
launchers at giant bugs, and if I miss and hit a building, it
instantly crumbles. Every single time they instantly crumble! You can
level buildings and shoot the shit out of giant bugs and robots! And
there is this loot mechanic where the more you play, the better at the
game you get.

Adventure Bar Story - iOS

This game had to have an ending, ten hours in and I have no clue how
deep into it I am. I'm just going to quit, I'm done with it. I feel
like I got my dollar or whatever I paid for its worth, easily one of
the best games on the system.

Skyrim - ps3

Froze up, so often. Well over a dozen times, maybe two dozen? My
desire to "get my money" out of a game I buy is severely overshadowed
by how broken this game is. Freezing up, every time I turn this game
on is astonishing to me. This is not a ten out of ten, freezing as
much as this does and loading with graphical errors as it does, I
can't help but bump this game down a whole lotta points, for me, for
the Playstation 3 version.

You can patch a game all you want, but if you've moved and have no
Internet for a couple days, or even a week, you can go fuck yourself.
I hate that patches are a thing, but I love that they exist to correct
mistakes at the same time. "Acceptable bugs" is not something that
I want to have in video games ever, but this shit keeps happening.

Little big planet - ps3

My little Punisher sackboy makes me giggle when I see him. I love how
emotive I can be while playing, waving my arms and changing
expressions pleases me. Too bad every level I play just isn't that
great. I played this one day because it was here, and I could just
play it.

Such a fun game to just dabble in, I like that. I played some dumb
cart levels that gave me lots of orbs and one where a T-rex chased
after me. That was a fun thing I did.

Black Ops - 360

I feel like I wasted money buying Xbox live. I never play online, I
barely play this thing offline. But I got a few rounds of this off,
like always, I'm lone wolfing it with the worst twelve year olds on
the Internet.

I wasted money on Xbox live I wasted money. It was a waste, fuck me Microsoft.
You got me, you fucked me. Such a lovely service buried under ads and assholes
and you've fucked me by making me pay for it. Go fuck yourselves.

I am alive - 360 demo

Garbage is a word I wouldn't use for this. It functioned. I could play
it well enough, but this game has no passion. It feels like bullshit
as I played it. I love survivalism and post apocalypse stuff, this
could not hold me. Yet I hesitate to use garbage.

Awful. That's the word for this. Just canceling it would have been better.
My experience with the game felt like a waste of time, put that on
the back of a box as a quote.

Sonic 4 2 - Playstation 3 demo

Dreadful. If you told me at age seven, Sonic 4 would come out twenty
years too late and be fucking awful, is have called you a liar!

I wasn't into the first one, but it was at least playable. This is a
broken mess that felt like SEGA flipping me off and calling me am
asshole for ever liking what they've done.

What the fuck was SEGA thinking?

It really does feel like SEGA just doesn't give a fuck about their
products, as long as they have something to put out, they'll put
just about anything out. I love stuff like Yakuza and Binary
Domain, but god dammit, when you put out Sonic 4 in two parts
and this is the result, go fuck yourself SEGA.

Katamari Forever - Playstation 3

I was told Katamari fans didn't like this, but I love it. I need to
buy the 360 one at some point too, just in case it has something the
other three. If I was to get a vita, I'd go for the Katamari there,
but all it is is a tablet that isn't portable, and I already have
Katamari forever, we love Katamari, and Katamari damacy.

The hell was I rambling about?

I'm watching my wife play what I assume is the final level? I've made
many attempts to play it, can't seem to do that great with it. The
goal is 300, I hit 280. Such a bummer.

I best the level a couple days later and discovered I could replay
levels with a classic color filter, which makes things look
incredible. Not that's they didn't already.

Fallout New Vegas - 360

I'm trying to do things I haven't done, in places I've not seen. Which
means killing death claws which I can't figure out how to do. I should
probably look that up.

Far Cry 2 - 360

Reverand Athony was right. As far as an open world, sandbox to play
in goes, this game is those things. The systems beneath it where I
hunt jewels and take missions is silly, and the combat is less than
desirable, but this game captured my imagination. Several years After
the fact.

Shadow Hearts - PS2

I audibly sighed when I started looking for the words to write here. I
love the game, but I barely have time for it. I play this when my wife
pushes me out of my living room, and in small bursts where I barely
feel conscious enough to concentrate on this game.

Yakuza Dead Souls - PS3

I got this and a controller for my birthday, in April. I got to play
this very little, when I do play, I try to finish up all the side
quests because their interesting as can be. One had a great satire on
horror movie stock characters and a guy slipping on a banana peel,
that sort of thing is brilliant in how silly it is. When I get a free
day, I want to blast through the main story on this, but I really
don't. I want to play it every day for a week, five hours every day or
more at a time. That's the way to play a game like this, and god
dammit I cant. I just cant, and that bothers me.

Demon souls - PS3

What was I thinking going back to play this? That I'm a badass and that
just by me playing again, I'll whoop the entire game easily as nothing.

This is me, how I beat the last couple levels.


I ended that game as a monster, with this character that was untouchable
and when I started playing, I thought, "Why not start a new guy instead of
playing as the same old character, where I am a badass."

This is who I played Demon Souls as for about three hours one day.

More specifically, this. Which somehow turned upside down, and I have no idea how to fix that on this Mac laptop, so this is as it is. Sorry. On twitter it looked right, on my ipod it looks right, and on my desktop it looks right, but when I upload it here, the son of a bitch turns upside down.

Either way, I made the ugliest character a video game has ever allowed me to make.

The servers were going offline, so I thought I would play some more.
But I'm done. I beat this and Dark Souls, I'm done. I never should
come back to either game, I just don't have the time. But fuck I love
both of them. Two of the greatest games I'll ever play, that will
never get the recognition they deserve. Dark Souls got some sleeper
hit juice last year and both sold decently, but these should be
monster hits. Monster triple a games that nobody can fuck with.

I got nothing else to say really, just keep checking back here and
twitter. I'll let everybody know what I'm up too.

Right now I'm too busy with my night job to do much of anything, I
can barely sleep and do anything. I'm doing lots of work on a the
Bonerquest book and any free time I get, I want to actually play
video games, not hang out on a video game website or write long
articles with lots of pictures for a video game website. I still dabble
here if I can, but I just can't hang like I used to. Which bums me out.

I really am upset about the format on this one, but I have exactly ten minutes to get this finished and done.

That's it!

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