Check out Josh Hayes, a name Charlie uses for journalism on the internet so that he can say silly personal things without the fear of them being exposed openly. That and to hide from people he knew who he don't want to find him, not no way, not no how.
It's late at night, I was going to post this Sunday, but I wrote that big long thing instead. So yeah, I'm going to sneak this in here for the morning. That's a picture of me in the Batmobile, which was fucking awesome.
Here are video games I played this month!
That's a wrap! I got just inches deeper as the blackout hit early this month. I just didn't play it after that, when I tried my motivation and interest was gone.
I'm curious to see how people react to a game where weapons that aren't bows or ranged, are sort of useless. And the glass nature of your party and this game being over ten years old make reselling it next month as an "HD" remake interesting to me.
About five or six times I've tried to start the Witcher. At least two of which I made it to the top of the stairs, before I just gave up. Today, I made it farther than the two minutes I put in those five or six times. Today I played the fuck out of Witcher. Finishing move of all finishing moves, Gestalt jumped on a guy who was standings chest, rammed his sword down the guy's skull! That might be one of the coolest things I've done in a video game. I actually said out loud, "God damn!"
I didn't get much deeper, but I enjoyed my time with it. Eventually, I'll circle back around to it, maybe, hopefullly.
Lego batman 2 - demo ps3
Another Lego game, I got to play as bane and mr freeze. Win, win. At some point, I'll probably play the full version. Puzzle solving and beating up dudes, Batman liscense that takes most of its ques from the nineties cartoon. This would make a perfect rental night for me, or a great game as a gift for little kids.
Cthullu Saves the World! - iOS (also on PC!)
I waited on this thing for iOS, but it keeps crashing on me. So I bought it and Breath of Death 7 for a dollar fifty on Steam. Then a couple days later, I got the Penny Arcade game when I asked the guy who made them on twitter when the iOS version of that would happen, sometime next year. I'd rather play it now then next year, but I got an extra copy of both, Breath of Death 7 and Cthullu Saves the World for Steam. Great!
I love the humor and charm of this game, the mechanics are worth noting as they show a definite promise for the genre and what this developer could do, given more time and polish. The way random battles is handled in this game is genius, a set amount for every dungeon area counts down with each battle, then you can just walk around freely if you want. And if you want to level up more, you can choose to fight from the menu. That's amazing!
I got up to where you get the fourth party member, but the constant crashing on iOS every time I enter a battle has pushed me away from it. I played some other stuff on iOS too, but I always forget them, they're so disposable, but the stuff I play is usually retro art styled and silly. I'll try to write them down more closely, as I've said for the last six months.
This game is brilliant, it has some technical issues and I don't like using the keyboard to play it when I have an expensive device to let me play with my stupid Xbox controller sitting right here, hooked up, that other games use. But god dammit, this game, you have to play it, it's incredible. If you like Silent Hill at all, Silent hill 2 specifically, if you're into horror or David Lynch weirdness, this game has all that and excels at it. It succeeded in making me uncomfortable while playing it, I began to feel anxious as I walked in circles trying to make heads or tails out of this strange world I was shooting things in while popping pills and talking to a stuffed cat toy. But I've already said too much, go buy it. If I was just a little richer, I'd buy people copies of it. This thing is incredible.
I got pretty deep into it, taking pills and finding monsters more disturbing than the normal looking ones that sometimes climb cielings. I want to set aside a full afternoon and just dive into this thing.
Space Hulk - DOS
My adventures with DOS games has not ended, there are tons I have copies of that I've got to find time to try out. Space Hulk moved to the top of my list when I flirted with picking up the new edition of Warhammer 40,000 bullshit. I really want a set of the robot aliens, I'd have them all painted up dumb and then try to actually play the game with them. As I delve into it, I find the rules too complex for me to fathom. Which is exactly what happened with Space Hulk.
This is based on a board game from Warhammer 40,000 called Space Hulk, which tries to emulate the feeling of the film Aliens. In my arguement, it seems to do so succesfully. The video game version adds on top of that, the then new first person shooter layer on top of the strategy layer of manuevering your big tough space warriors around, while trying to evade space aliens who can rip them to shreds. I was killed after a couple of victories, but I couldn't figure out how to use my team of guys. I only could use one guy and couldn't switch and I just haven't had time to look up the controls or anything. There was no tutorial or really information in the game about how to play it, which is how I like my games. Butthole hard and unflinchingly difficult at the same time. Try this game out and get killed.
Penny Arcade 3
I hate Penny Arcade.
That said, I love this game!
Mechanically, this game is amazing. From the sheer joy of playing this game, I give it the highest marks that I can attach to a video game. The way the battles play out gives me reason to actually use special abilities and try out different strategies. Every time a character gets a turn, they restore or gain another MP point, which allows for their special attacks to be used. This is brilliant. I never used magic as a kid for fear that I would need it in a boss battle, but here and now, I can use every attack at all times. Even as I play new RPGs, I still feel anxiety every time I use an MP draining ability.
Beside's that, the writing is very charming. Every enemy has a description that is usually something very clever and humorous. The enemies themselves are the types of thing a mad man would dream of, like killer mimes on a boardwalk who recruit an octopus, making it a mime o pus with full make up on. The wierd humor seems to continue throughout.
My problem is, I don't know who these characters are. I thought the demo for the first Penny Arcade game was terrible, and that it was over priced for what it was. I have no idea who the character of Jim is, why he is the way he is, or what his story is at all. I'm vaugely understanding the lead characters, both guys are jerks, but one seems less intellegent about his jerky ways while the other attempts psuedo intellectual babble, but still comes off like a jerk. I find their abilities funny. Dialog from characters and story situations I also find delightful, such as when a female character insists she could simply pick a locked door rather than do some convulted thing another character explains.
A lot of jokes are made at the expense of the homeless, which doesn't bother me, but I'm sure hobos everywhere would raise up against this sort of light hearted humor, if they had character's like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpten to speak for them. I wondered as I played if there was such a hobo group out there who would get all pissed off for no reason. I hate that sort ot thing. I want to make jokes about everybody at all times. I'm so pissed off at Daniel Tosh for what happened with him. I'm not mad because he told an audiance member it would be funny if she was raped right there in the middle of the comedy show, when she yelled out that rape jokes aren't funny. That to me is perfectly acceptable, if you wish to engage with a comedian while their onstage, by all means do so, but expect a swift retort. I'm angry because he apologized.
Once again, I never wish to apologize for anything I write or say, I stand by what I say about Penny Arcade. I don't like them, they said mean things twelve years ago, so fuck them, but this game is good, in spite of what is based upon.
Also, I would feel silly if I didn't mention how slow the gameplay is at times. The turn based system feels faster than it did at PAX, but it still feels like it drags a little, but battles are still quick and fun to play. Definitly pick this up if you like RPGs, it doesn't matter if you adamantly lament anything Penny Arcade related, this game is a great game that should not be missed.
The Walking Dead - Steam
I enjoy the Walking Dead comic books.
I've only completed the first episode, but I enjoy it. Much like Heavy Rain, I enjoy this presentation of story. These interactive adventure movies are my kind of thing, I like this, I want more of this, and this game is actually fun to play and well written. At moments, Heavy Rain was excellent and compelling, but then it would do a riff on something from Saw or Seven that I found silly and cliche that ruined the whole thing. Walking Dead is consistently great, every section of the game was a blast to play. For the amount of money I paid for this, fifteen dollars, I got the first two episodes and the next set all together. If they're of the same length and qaulity, then this is an excellent game.
The way it plays is very simple. You're presented with an envrioment to explore, occasionally talking to people and often interacting with objects in an attempt to move the story along. The flow of the game was fast paced, which I apreciate greatly. When conflict arises, it does so unexpectedly and can present you with choices that are niether good nor evil, simply choices. The game asks you to live with these choices for future episodes as well, and yes, that includes who lives or dies.
This game is great, Telltale games are usually awful adventure games, but this isn't Jurassic Park, they've actually made something worth playing and I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of big media outlets continue talking about this like it was the second coming. It isn't, but I had a lot of fun playing it and will play all the rest of the episodes when and if they come out.
Just as a side bar, when everybody was upset about rape and women, why didn't anybody bring up Heavy Rain when those dudes break into the ladies house?
Company of Heroes
That summer sale fucked me.
I saw this, and I like killing nazis. I like World War 2 a lot, but I don't have time to dedicate to strategy games. I tried the demo out, thinking that I could hang with this and play it on and off, but no. It kicked my teeth in by mission six or seven, I was tasked with advancing down a forking road and after two full blast attempts, on my third several days, possibly a week later, I started the mission and quickly turned the game off. I yelled, "Fuck this game, fuck strategy games. Fuck everything ever!"
That said, this was a fun strategy game. Much like the Dawn of War games, but without Warhammer 40,000.
I also tried multiplayer out, where me and a German guy played as Nazis fighting against an easy and normal computer opponent. When things looked as though we would lose, my new German friend left the match, which I played for nearly five minutes before realizing how terrible the both of us were at thsi game and how screwed we were. I'm unsure if the two of us will ever speak again, we only chatted briefly trying to join someone else's match who wasn't around, so I left, added him to my friends list and invited him in. Then he leaves like a jerk. Fucking Germans don't even want to play World War 2 with me!
I've been on a World War 2 kick lately, reading and absorbing as much information as possible. I think this, wrongly, was purchased in the hopes of sparking some good ideas for something I wish to write after my Bonerquest novel.
Yakuza - Dead Souls
I made some time one day to get into Yakuza Of The End again. I'm very fond of this series, these game are a fun experience, and this one lets me play out my villainous anti-hero fantasies with a character called Majima in the second chapter, that made this worth every penny. Majima is not a nice guy, and he actively enjoys the zombie apocalyspe, greeting it with a shotgun and a big smile. He accidently ends up defending a bunch of innocent people and becoming the savior of a small child, whom beleives him to be a hero that he isn't. This is a bad guy, he's been a boss battle in every Yakuza game and always cheats in those fights with a knife, this is a bad, bad guy. Playing as him was a dream come true, even when Resident Evil monsters show up and enemies that clearly came from Left 4 Dead show up as well. This game is silly, if you own a PS3, you should play this game. But you won't, because nobody cares about Yakuza games but me.
I'm really bummed out about SEGA as a whole, but I love these Yakuza games.
Punch Out!!! - Wii
One day while bored, I remembered watching the wife play Donkey Kong Country on the Wii, so I knew it was all hooked up and ready, but then I realized, I have Punch Out. Punch Out is fantastic, espcially this new one. If you have a Wii, and still want to play it, pick up the new Punch Out. It's like puzzle boxing with lots of charm and humor, I forgot how much I giggled while playing this.
I bought this, having just rented and finished the game. I wanted to support Clover, whatever they're called now escapes my mind at this moment and I'll never remember to look it up when I'm near the internet. Fact of the matter is, I like these guys, I want to support their work, and at that time when Mad World was new, I wanted to support the Wii and third party games on it. Because if I did, maybe more would come out.
As I played the lengthy tutorial level, I became frustrated. I'm not even sure if I finished the level, I think I beat the boss, but I was disgusted being told and shown all the cool ways to kill people in the level. Sadly, most of these ways repeat over and over throughout the game, with the occasional new thing thrown in like jet engines to throw a guy into or meat grinders, but they seem few and far between. Which is a shame, because this game is an evolution of God Hand.
I think the not-sequel, Anarchy Reigns, which I insist on calling Max Anarchy is out soon. And it's strangely a full release, not a downloadable title? Why have I been confused about that?
b]Fallout 3 - Mothership Zeta
My wife insisted on buying Fallout 3 on Steam, which she already owns for PC with the special lunch box. But, I have it here in front of me, and I have this special thing she bought for fifty dollars that is an official microsoft product that lets me hook up my wireless controller, to my surprise it actually worked, and hours of wandering Fallout 3 again later, I find myself enjoying it all over again.
Big Town seemed boring, just as I recalled it from my first trip through Fallout 3. There was nothing to do and nobody sold any weapons, what a bunch of dumbassess. Then I found my way at Paradise Falls mall, which is home to the Slavers. I think I teamed up with them or tried to on the xbox when I first blitzed through the game when it was new, but today as I played with what little weapons I had scrounged killing a couple of mutants and most of Vault 101 on the way there, I managed to kill every slaver there, taking all their better equipment. Now I'm cooking with gas.
When I came back the next day, I realized I had to hit Data Files to load up the DLC stuff, I never touched any of it at that time, so now I'm curious to see how it all plays. I'm doing Mothership Zeta first, but I think this was a mistake. I decided to kill a Samurai I found, but I was unable to locate his sword. When I looked up where it was, I couldn't get back there, so now I have his armor without his sword. Oh well, I've got tons of alien laser beam guns and have killed the shit out of a lot of aliens. I don't think I would pay ten dollars for this by itself, especially now, but playing through most of it today, if you can pick up Fallout 3 with all the DLC for a fair price (we paid less than six dollars for the Steam version) this is worth going for, if you're into this type of game. I find myself not liking Western RPG's as much lately, Dead Island and Borderlands both left me feeling unsatisfied, as did Skyrim. I feel like any fun in these games is on me, not on the game.
b]Legend of Grimrock[/b]
I looked into grabbing some old DOS games like Ultima Underworld, since I missed those as a kid when they were new. This game is like those, but new, and looks really dope. I enjoy how this plays, but it is just a dungeon crawler. There is no real sense of characters, I made four guys and gave them pictures, that's about it. I have a human warrior, a minotaur warrior, a lizard thief, and a bug wizard. I love how scroungy this game is, I'm scrounging up everything. The point I quit, I was just starting to piece together armor and real weapons for all my dudes.
The magic system frustrates me, it uses these rune symbols and has you quickly match them up and then press the attack button to launch spells. This usually makes me have one ready to blast a bad guy with, hit with all my other three dudes, then frantically hit the buttons to try to shoot a fireball out.
Binding of Issac[/b]
Very cool game, it should be pretty cheap too. I just got the expansion pack, but aparantly the extra characters I unlocked are locked again. I don't know what I did wrong, but I spent a lot of time playing this thing. Fun little game!
First of all, Retro Games Show is happening for my website, randombullseye.com with Tony Ponce and Bianca Torres co-hosting every week as we discuss classic video games! Look for that on iTunes sometime in the next couple weeks! We've recorded episodes about Mega Man, Sonic, Mortal Kombat, and a special "wing it" episode where we talked about everything.
I really don't remember June, which brings me to wondering what I did in July. I'm fuzzy on the whole month, work was a nightmare, and work on my book had stalled. I'm in contact with a lot of places about advertising it, only one podcast has gotten back to me about advertising and the price they quoted was quite severe, but I feel like I have to pay it out of some sort of madness. For the amount of money I'd pay, for me to break even that one advertisement, I'd have to sell a hundred books. Totally worth it, I think I'm going to go into massive debt to promote this silly project of mine. I've decided I don't want to make money, I want to spread the message of my book, that's more important.
Will you accept the Bonerquest?
I'm stressed out. Bonerquest is hitting a crunch period, if I want to make my release date of October, I need to do a lot of work. Everything's in pieces and needs assembled together and cleaned up, but I'm pretty well and finished with it. I just have to figure out this puzzle, link it all together, and there it is, a book that I wrote. Emailing advertising places has been stressful too, the prices on the low end are out of my price range. I feel so silly, but this is to be expected with this thing.
Sometime soon I'll let people read the first couple pages, I might post them here on my dtoid blog. I've not shut the fuck up about this thing for so long, it feels like I need to show something for it all and convince everyone that it isn't just some big lie. If you want more information, e-mail email@example.com and ask to see the cover or read some stuff.