TL;DR SUMMARY
People are going to be better than you and me at video games. I hate that I want to be the best. Don't you hate that?

I hate the fact that I'm not the very best. Like no one was before. I hate the fact that those who are the least bit better than me are all pricks. (((Maybe that's just the goggles doing nothing for them, but honestly, anyone who is better at video games makes me feel like I'm wasting my time.)))

Mario brothers finished in less than ten minutes.


First off, how do you measure who is better than who? Competitive games like Call of Duty and Doom surely can't count. There are too many variables involved with those games. That's not the type of "better than me" stigma that gets under my skin. Lets talk about the speed runs Castlevania 3 or similar games. Going for the hard route with no damage in the least amount of time transforms me into the Incredible Hulk. I love watching it sure, but why can't I be as good as those speed runs? It makes me feel disappointed. Less than the best. Starts to make me question, why am I trying so hard and messing up so miserably? Why can't I make it across the frigging lake; I froze it. When made it past that I get to the falling bridge section and sure enough I'm hit by a bird and it kills me. Twice. Back to the beginning of the level for me. I've seen speed runs of people blasting through that game like it was nothing. I question the videos of Ikargua being perfectly executed. That type of playing isn't real. It can't be. If it is, how come I'm not on that level?

In my searches for tough video games I found this video. I want to play this game, but something tells me I might have trouble. I'm curious what your thoughts on this game are?


Now lets talk about luck. Luck has to factor into a game at some point. Luck influences Which items drop, what monsters you fight in random battles, and other similar variables change the odds and skills of the game. This occurs all too often. Luck could be the difference between a glitch in your favor awarding points or buttons being stuck to the point of non-use. Don't even get me started on broken controllers. If you have a controller with mashed in buttons, it's the host's responsibility to play with that controller. What can now happen is the other player(s) gloating over you until you tell them to switch controllers and show them a thing or two about video games.

Starcraft is televsied competition in Korea. I always liked Starcraft when it was me playing against someone who wasn't obsessed with it. Whenever I played with or against someone who knows the game this well, it just didn't feel like the same game.


One last thing that makes me want to shove sharp objects directly into both eyes are kill screens. A kill screen happens in older arcade machines when you access a high enough level and the game runs out of ram and as a result it kills you. Now for me, those types of games are more about trying to beat your personal best. Maybe a little about competing with other peoples scores, but everyone who plays has the same odds. When you see a video of your score being fully sodomized by a proffesional, why bother? How about when your best score is overlapped within minutes of them playing the game? Sure it's fun to try to get on that level of greatness. However, are you a bad enough dude to buy a single dedicated arcade cabinet and play nothing but that game until its in your blood? Not memorized. Not learned. It runs through your bloodstream, seething its way through your body. All around you. In fact, its so infuriating that I don't want to talk about the subject of kill screens or those untouchable world records anymore.

I wrote about Dig Dug the other day and in my research of it I found several kill screens for the games. This video seems to be an excerpt from a submissions tape for a record.


While playing Mega Man 9 I took a look at the leaderboards. Mainly so I could see how my friends list, mostly Destructoid members, was doing in Mega Man. I found a listing for "ALL" and it shows off the top ten for Mega Man 9. Someone actually managed to beat the entire game in 27 minutes. I was feeling awesome that I managed to stomp those Elphants, but beating the entire game that quick? On further inspection of the number one player they have all two hundred out of two hundred achivement points. How could this be? One of the few Mega Man 9 things I had read about was those achivements and how insane they were. Beating the game six times in a row. Beat the game with as few shots as possible. How can someone on the first day of relaese do that much better than me?

Does it bother you knowing that no matter how awesome it was that you beat Sigma on Mega Man X someone has done it and made it look as though it were the most simple thing ever? Remember the super boss on Demons Crest? How about Battletoads stage 3, with the hovercrafts? How about something most any of us have done beating Bowser in Mario World made to look as if it was nothing at all. Or how about that video floating around of someone stomping Mario Brothers 3 in the face with the warp whistles? They just run around perfectly timing their jumps to hit every enemy even in World 8! I can't believe that its real. I've played that game for years and can't do it that beautifully. That perfectly. The first thought that comes into my head is I'll never do that. The second thought, how did they do that, I want to try it.

Mega Man X's final boss battle, done much more eloquently than I ever did.


Just watching them tear through this makes me want to try that much harder. I remember trying every weapon and nothing working except a fully charged pink shot. This guy uses the armadillo boss's weapon on Sigma's final form making short work of him. While he uses an energy tank, he sill is doing better than me when I played the final boss. I'm anxious to play Mega Man X again. Just to try out this new strategy. This is a prime example of how watching others play can improve your own ability. I used to watch my older cousins and my half brother play games like Contra 3 and get about a third through the game. Then watch as they struggled to finish Super Ghouls & Ghosts back in the glorious sixteen bit days. After watching them I would try what they did and add my own strategy to it. Eventually surpassing both them and my older half brother in my abilities. Its all about pacing yourself to improve. Set your own goals and judge yourself by your own standards, not someone else. But maybe that was just me.

Randombullseye, better than the best. At least that's what I want to be. In reality, I just changed a puppy diaper. Yes, my dog is wearing diapers now. Apparently its in heat and I was told by my girlfriend that our puppy is not to get anything on the carpet or furniture. Why am I worrying if I'm the best at video games? Baaaaaww I'm not the best the ever was! Waaah someone is better than me! My tactic is to try not to worry about. Just play games and have fun with it. Speed runs are typically tool assisted anyway. Death in shooting games or fighting games is part of the game. Someone has to die for someone else to be a winner, plus whats one or two rounds before you turn things up to eleven and show someone how the auto-combos work by literally murdering them. That's why I love video games. You can fight someone, turn them into a block of ice, and then rip their heads and spinal column out. Then you play again and its a chance for your competitor to do the same to you. Another question to propose about fighting games. Do you always pick the same character or do you play with other fighters too? When playing Mortal Kombat I prefer Sub Zero, but as a rule I've learned to play with all the fighters in any fighting game. Even the "joke" characters like Jigglypuff, Dan, and Gon are fun to use to beat your friends with. What are your thoughts bout that?

Sub Zero is my go to character for Mortal Kombat. I found a nice montage of his fatalities for your enjoyment.


Now that I'm a older, I don't have the time like I used to to practice. Still that doesn't mean I'm not playing games all day. Even while writing I have several paused. I will tell you this, I'll still strive to be better than I am now. At the skill level some people are playing at its like I'm not even settling for second best. Its like seven hundredth or thousandth at best. I also don't like to rush through games. I like to take my time. Why do it as fast as possible if you're not a timer? I hate that I want to be the best. Maybe its an American thing. Maybe its a video game thing. I just want to be the very best, like no one was before and so on.

Thanks to my girlfriend for proofreading and editing my first draft of this and for our cute dog Abbey with the puppy diapers. Just for being a cute puppy.