I would like to apologise in advance for HUEG IMAEGS. I'm not sure if it's my fault, though I'm pretty sure it is, and I don't trust myself enough to resize them without setting something on fire and getting lost for days in the woods. Even though the nearest woodland is miles away, yes.
!? I'm not biased good, ridiculously tiny sir! Everyone else just has very little taste! The plebs that you call "friends" and "the gaming public" are the biased ones! If anything doesn't have growling macho men who spray jets of raw, unfettered machismo from their nipples or bundles of absolutely pathetic "minigames" that can be "beaten" by just freaking out and spasming, they flee from it! It is as if everything is still in Jesus times (you know, the era after the dinosaurs) and my precious, precious JRPGs are lepers! Hah, you people have no idea
on what you're missing out on, constantly playing the same boring, gun-metal grey shooters and plinky-plonky boop-beep minigame collections!
What I'm saying is that YOUR TASTES ARE BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.
Year after year, you trundle out to your beloved Gamestop (GAME AND HMV ARE FAR BETTER, YOU TROGLODYTE) to preorder the next Call Of Duty game, even though it's essentially the same flipping game, with the same stupid AI allies and the same unforgiving enemy AIs that can blindside and buttfuck you hard before you even know what's going on. You'll still only be carrying a weapon, a subweapon, a knife and a bunch of grenades, you'll still move too damn slow ("realistic weight" my ass) and you'll still end up spending most of your time sitting behind a wall that reaches up to your chest (at best) trying to vainly shoot the bad guys who are doing the exact same thing. Despite all this, as long as you just hide your ass for a few seconds, you'll be fighting fit again, instead of feeling desperate and hoping, praying
for a healing item or something.
What I'm saying is that CALL OF DUTY IS THE CANCER THAT IS KILLING GAMING.
Bah, what do you know!? You're just another pawn in the Activision Empire, gleefully filling their coffers with your hard-earned cash, wasting it on such...wasteful wastes
like Call Of Duty or Guitar Hero or World Of WarCraft. How do you sleep at night, knowing that somewhere, Bobby Kotick is growing stronger off of your ragequits, your preorders and your continued purchasing of silly, overpriced game maps? How do you feel, knowing that you're aiding and abetting the crimes of The Dark Lord
, commander of 108 legions divided up amongst his 4 generals (Call Of Duty Man, World Of WarCraft Man, Guitar Hero Man and Bobby Kotcik Junior)?
NO I AM NOT BIASED YOU ARE JUST SILLY AND STUPID
And I can prove it! Look here, at this image!
...Okay...maybe I am...a little biased
against Activision. But only a little!
It's a common trend as of late to treat Activision as the current Satan-figure of the gaming industry, and admittedly I kinda roll with that. But I don't go about preaching that people need to cast out the demons from their consoles and burn their Guitar Hero peripherals, I just ignore their games. It gets kind of annoying come every Call Of Duty launch, when everyone in school is going rabid over it and discussing it and only
it. Bit more annoying when I have to answer "No, I'm just not interested" about thirty times in a day, and will have to continue to do so for at least a week. Also, I kind of hope that another game, any game, would acquire the same kind of popularity Call Of Duty does, hopefully a game that deserves it for being legitimately good.
But really, my bias against Activision comes from their actions in the industry. Stuff like trying to prevent Brutal Legend's release simply because they had no confidence in Guitar Hero 5, various statements from CEO Robert Kotick (regardless of who he's saying them to or why), and a few occasions of acquiring promising studios and then dissolving them sometime later. Also, I live in the UK, and find their price-gouging simply despicable (good on retailers chopping £10 or so off the price, at least). Yes, the public will eat their games and the expansions and DLC for their games right up irregardless, but that still doesn't justify it in my eyes. My bias extends beyond the games Activision primarily uses to keep its bloated corpse afloat, too.
Fear my MSPaints!
My bias against Activision is pretty much the main reason why I don't already have games like Transformers: War For Cybertron or Prototype; I simply do not want to support Activision, so no matter how good their games are, I just will not get them. Sure, I may try to cheat with some of them (still trying to find a preowned copy of Prototype for the PS3 and with a reasonable price), but usually I just lose all interest as soon as I see the Activision logo on the box. It's petty, I know, but that's just how I am.
...And quite frankly, it's how you should be too. Thinking of buying Call Of Duty: Black Ops, or whatever the next Guitar Hero is, or getting a WoW account?
Look at this image. Keep looking at it. Still thinking of buying Activision's games? THEN KEEP LOOKING.