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pocketbelt avatar 12:20 PM on 07.02.2010  (server time)

One of the things I really liked about LittleBigPlanet was Stephen Fry's voice. Man, I could listen to him talking about anything for hours. But, one of the other things I really liked about LittleBigPlanet was the sheer amount of customisation on offer. Even the very basic stuff, like the simple skins and simple items you found about the stages would bring a smile to my face because the Sackpeople always looked so cute no matter what they had on. Imagine if life was like that? Where you could change the colour of things with a magical glowing ball on a wire that came out of your hands? Where you could lift things and arrange them as you like without having to shove about that washing machine?

A world where you could pull off a face like this...

...and no-one would bat an eyelid? At least, I hope they wouldn't, because I'd be rocking that face all the frigging time.

As you may have guessed from my title (if you haven't played the game), in LittleBigPlanet you can change the colour of your character's skin. Do you know how wonderful that would be? No more racism! People are all different because they can change their skin colour at will! Well, there would probably still be racism amongst those groups of people who decide that pink coloured skin is the sign of evil or something, but hey, you never know! LittleBigPlanet is all about being happy and creative, not destructive and angry! World peace would be quickly achieved if real life was more like LBP, because everyone would happy and making flowers for all the little children to enjoy!

People all around the world would be creating wondrous works of art for the enjoyment of mankind! And when LittleBigPlanet 2 rolls around, think about what its expanded game options would allow! Everyone could have their own bumper car rally, or their own death course to plough through on a giant pink tank covered in firebreathing cats! Everything would be a hell of a lot cheerier and happier!

Or nothing would change except now a bunch of idiots will regularly plaster your house in cardboard penises and cover you in paint when you walked outside to complain. And they'd probably dress themselves up like this:

Yes, I purposefully chose this image because they have weird things sticking out of their heads.

Because, hey, there's always going to be some idiots around to ruin it for everyone else. But thankfully, you can have revenge by setting every individual brick of their house on fire, or electrify every last bit of their house, or just make all the floors emit toxic gases. Even homocide in the name of vengeance is fun in LittleBigPlanet!


There's another upside to the world being like LittleBigPlanet: anyone can look like their favourite videogame characters without having to get your photo taken at some anime convention! Don't lie, you'd love to be able to dress up like this:

I just got the first Patapon game recently and holy crap is it wonderful.

So yeah, if life was like LittleBigPlanet, it'd be awesome. Except for all those cardboard penises on your house. And the police outside waiting to arrest you for arson.

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